37 yr old -first pregnancy-DD Sept 2010

[willthecatbejealous]

Hi all, Im new to Mumsnet, but would love to hear from Mums' of a similar age to learn what to expect because I'm an older Mummy.

Pregnancy very early yet, but concieved Xmas Day after 3 months off trying so 5 weeks tomorrow if I go from my last period.

Symptoms include heavy and sore moomins (boobies), sleeping a little more. Weeing a lot more, especially at night, but most worrying sympton is lower tummy, period like pains? I have seen a few mentions of this in other threads but not many. No spotting so I guess this is good.

Any hints, tips, experiences to share?

Most likey your uterus stretching, congratulations btw

congratulaions. i had my first at 36, now trying for my second at 38. not slept in 2 years mind!

Congratulations on your pg.

As you have no spotting, I wouldn't worry. I had period type pains at that stage with all of mine.

I was 36 with my first, so you're not the only elderly primigravida

thanks ladies, I have posted the same message 3 times now, can you tell I'm a newbie to Mumsnet heheheh.

Glad its my uterus, but forever popping to the loo to check the (you know what). God it's a worrying time.

it is worrying but all you can do is think positive

hello Will the cat!! congratulations

I conceived at Xmas time on my 38th birthday four years ago! I was 38 when DS1 was born and 40 when ds2 was born.

I think my serious tip is perhaps a cliche,..but I tell you my experience anyway. I would say that you should stand your ground as to what you feel you want care and birth wise and not be pigeonholed by your consultant (or whichever minion she/he has got doing the clinic that day!). Listen to your friends, listen to other mums in your position but mostly listen to your own mind and body.

If you are working and will be taking maternity leave,..my tip would be work as close up to your due date as you dare because the time off on the other side of motherhood is way better (IMO!).

Finally, dont get too hung up on the age thing - there are hundreds of us out here in your position. I had two wonderful, textbook pregnancies with none of the age related horrors,..and two uncomplicated (and both apparantly way overdue) births with no interventions and just gas and air (not making a point on this,...just saying that old age does not automatically mean hard time. And I am sure that I am amongst many many older mothers on here who would agree.

Enjoy every single day my girl - I miss the joy of pregnancy in many ways - though the little dumplings are even better!

Good luck

I was almost 37 when i had ds, and now 20wks pg with my 2nd (I will be 38 in June) Just wanted to reiterate what someone else said - there are tons of us 'older' mums out there, and most health professionals don't consider you to be old- i was referred to a consultant obstetrician because of an unusual medical history (but ended up with a very smooth pregnancy and a natural birth) and even he said there was too much emphasis put on age and pregnancy, and that if you looked after yourself there was no reason why you shouldn't have a perfectly normal pregnancy into your late 30s and even early 40s. I always felt reassured by that!
That aside on a personal note I also think I'm a much better mum, and enjoy my child so much more, than I would have done in my 20s, simply because I'm in a place in my life where I feel stable in my relationship and career and have had years of being 'selfish'and travelling and doing what I want to do.
So enjoy your pregnancy and good luck!

Thank you all for those very reassuring words !

*Little Pushka- wise words about standing my ground. I already sensed I might be in line for some 'persuasive' suggestions from the Doctors/midwives etc.

• Bluepanda - your comments are very similar to how I feel already, in that there is no way I was ready to be a Mum in my 20's.

Well first MW appt is a week today, I already know I do not want any invasive, tests etc, and I will most certainly say so. Luckily I am not a push over ;).

Are there any tests you would reccommend to definitely have that are optional (and safe)?

I await your replies

I declined blood test screening for downs this time as I felt more confident to do so. I've been told in these tests your age alone can put you in a higher risk category, and as I knew i would not go for amnio there seemed little point in potentially worrying for the rest of my pregnancy. I was expecting raised eyebrows from mw but she was very cool and put no pressure on me. 20 wk scan next week so fingers crossed all will be ok. Good luck!

Hard to say about screening as it is such a personal thing. I declined any testing because me and DH would not have terminated even if the risk was a certainty. |But we are pr0-choice on that sort of thing so it is very personal thing.

Like blue panda, my experience with both DC was that all the midwives (without exception) were hugely supportive and never questioned my choices, and they never made me feel like just another number on a conveyor belt.

But I often was spoken to as if I was a blithering idiot by members of the consultants team. They did make massive assumptions about what was "best" but never did they explain relative risks. I found detailed reading far mor informative than the consultants. |for that reason alone perhaps , if you are hungry for knowledge I would say do not expect chapeter and verse from the consultant team...get some books and inform yourself! The things I came up against revolved always around the uber-keeness to test and intervene without any clinical reason (that was ever explained to me) except the big 40. Not a goodenough reason in my book...nor in the case of some of the other posters books either.

Also agree with Bluepanda that at my age, I am better equipped to deal with motherhood on every level except one....I would like to have the energy I did as a single twenty-something!But hey,...who wouldn't?!

Hi all

lovely to read your comments, my EDD has been confirmed as the 17th September today by the midwife.

I am now 6+1 and had my first appointment with her today. She took my blood pressure (normal) weighed me (no comment) but only just escaped the GTT test for diabetes (gulp).

Got my maternity pack etc and had a good long chat with her. Booked to see her again in 5 weeks, hopefully a week before the 12 week dating scan.

Flu jab early Feb (really looking forward to that- NOT.

Tests wise, she was very supportive in what I wanted. She actually recommended not having the 3in1 as states it will almost certainly come back as high risk due to my age and says it ruins a lot of pregnancies (as in making you worry and anxious) for first time mums.

So am going for the Nuchal fold test (privately) as it seems they dont offer that test on the NHS in Leeds. I have to have that between 8/12 or 13 weeks and that will give you a much more accurate result.

What ever the result wont make any difference to me or my partner.

Thanks for reading xx