Unplanned pregnancy

[Stephief]

This sucks,

I know most women would be happy at the news of a new life, but I am not! I found out today I am pregnant. I already have three children, the youngest being 19 months old, the other two being older (7 and 8) My son had learning difficulties and behavioural problems, my partner is disabled and just as I was planning on returning to work now me and oh have moved in together, this has happened. I havent told anyone yet, literally, not even oh as he wont be happy. He wont be mad at me, just we never planned on having any children together (I also have 7 step children (all by one other mum, he isnt one of those men who likes to sow his seend os to speak!) and we had one together but now it looks like that will be two, and with his disabilities, I know he will be hugely concerned about how we will cope with another baby.

Its our own fault, we obviously havent been careful enough, but what now? What the heck do I do now? Termination wil never be an option for me, I know that, but another baby? Oh this isnt even funny. I have no idea how I am going to break the 'happy' news to oh, he will be devastated. I have been nagging him to get the snip for years now and he kept promising to do it but never got round to it (I couldnt be sterilised as they wouldnt do it-they ruddy well can this time!) Its his fault, he has super sperm-we were joking the other day about selling his services to infertile women as he only has to brush past a woman and she falls pregnant. It just seems so unfair that there are so many women out there desperately trying for a baby and yet we can have sex once every couple of months (seriously, it is that rare we get jiggy!) and we manage to conceive.

Crap. I dont know what to do now. I dont think I am looking for any answers, there arent any really, just having a moan. I think I am still in shock. I cant believe this is happening.

Im so sorry to hear you are in shock. But these thing happen. We have 2 dc, although we want big family, we decided not to have another child for many reasons including my health issue. Termination is not option for me, and after long talk, dh decided what best for us.
Sorry but fathering 10 children already is super dooper sperm factory. It must be shock, and good luck through the pregnancy. If i was you, i will talk to my husband and get him see some light.
Im against the idea, that woman should take care of whole birth control, at some point men also need to make desicion,too. Cant every orgasm turn into child, imo.

I am not really sure why you are in shock - you know your OH is super fertile, and you have said that you were not careful, well what do you expect?

On the sterilisation point, I had a mirena coil fitted after DS was born, its as effective as sterilisation as its like BOTH having a coil AND taking the minipill, yet its easily reversable... and you just walk into any family planning clinic..

its takes two to tango, so you have to tell your OH, and then either either you can come to terms with it, or you can decide if the other options are in fact possible.

I know what i have written is a bit harsh, but if you really don't want to get pregnant you take precautions, and if you know your partner is super fertile well then you need to take more precautions that others might need.

Perhaps not much help, but as you say there are no answers.

Hi,

Thanks for your replies,

We were using precautions. On the (very rare!) occasions we have sex we have always used condoms, I just guess nothing is infallible! I did have the mirena coil fitted after no2 was born but had to have it removed as I was allergic to it (go figure!) and I had the depo shot after no3 and it made my weight balloon so the gp advised against it as I am overweight enough! Our contraceptive choices were always limited hence I wanted to be sterilised but due to complications during no3's delivery they wouldnt give me a general anaesthetic again. I guess I worded it badly when I said we werent careful enough, we were careful, just failed miserably!

We will deal with it, I am busy mulling it over in my head, and I will find a good moment to tell oh, we both made this baby and he really isnt the kind of person to turn his back on his family over something like this, he will accept it his is fault as much as mine! I just never expected to be going through all of this again. I thought my baby making days were in the past. I guess looking on the bright side, now they can sterilise me whilst delivering this one so this really will be the last baby! We dont have any other options, oh has always hated the idea of teminations, and my first daughter was stillborn so I know I could never live with myself if I willingly took away this baby's chance at a life.