mums of 3 - do you recommend?

[whensmydayoff]

Im a bit of a nutter to say the least!

I have a 2.7 month old DS and a 4 week old DD.....and I can't stop wondering if I will have a third .
Seriously, Im thinking about it constantly.

It's like I NEED to know if she is my last. I suppose it would help with constant BF going on day and night - knowing I NEVER had to do this again!!

I feel like 2 is still a small family. I grew up with an older brother. We never palyed together and I felt a bit like an only child (although he was 6 years older).

I also think it would be nice to have babies for longer in my life IYSWIM. I feel I might miss the boat if I leave it (im 33) then want another baby when its too late.

ANYWAY, if you have 3, what is it like? What are the pro's and cons. Are you glad you had the 3rd or do you find it makes life very difficult.

I suppose im aiming this at age gaps of 2-3 years between aswell. Big age gaps will be very different.

Hi I had 3 in 2 years who are now 5 3 and 2 and to be honest I found it hardest going from 1 to 2 than 2 to 3 (if that makes sense). So much so that Im expecting my 4th in July. I think its a personal thing, I always wanted 4 and have worked towards that and my 3 are good, not all the time obviously but life's fun.
My mum had 5 inc twins (me) then a 18mth gap betweeen my brothers and she always said the gap was worse than twins as they were just at different stages.

Paolosgirl - mine are 12, 10 and 2 (just)!!! But no.3 was planned, and although I'm knackered and he is tantrumming big style, I'm acutely aware all the time that these phases just pass so quickly that it's not winding me up in the same way. I'm def a more patient mother this time around.

It's knowing that "it's just a phase" (to be repeated ad nauseum) is what keeps us going, Telly! That and a sense of humour that we've had to develop to keep us sane..

How do your eldest 2 get on with your youngest? Have you found the family dynamics have changed?

I would say wait a while and see. If the yearning increases and you feel you just have to have another baby then thats the answer. DS1 is 3 DS2 is 2 and I am trying for no 3. Work full time, am constantly knackered or frazzled. Boys are great fun and TG get on very well but they are busy! Not sure how I will manage a 3rd financially and physically but just know in my heart and soul I will regret it bitterly later (am 35) if I dont. My mum had her last baby at 47 (i know!) and I just dont want pregnancy in my 40's so its now or never!

Mum of 4, first two gaps twenty months each. Another who says wait a while and see, give your body a chance and enjoy your two for a little bit

It really all depends on you and your circumstances. I have 3 dc's (5,3 and a half and 16 months) and am 36 weeks with no 4. I have amazing dh that helps out constantly and thankfully all so far eat, sleep & behave well.
Good luck whatever you decide.

Paolosgirl - my older two absolutely adore him!! I thought the novelty would wear off, but two years later and it's still going strong. They do play with him a fair bit, and absolutely love it when he grabs them by the hand and says 'come on, play cars' or 'want cuddle' etc. He's really stingey with his kisses, so when the middle one gets the most from him he brags about it non-stop!

How do yours all get on?

Reading through this thread I think the moral of the story is - beware if you want 3 you could well then want 4.....!!!

Notice how many here are actually pregnant with 4th! (including me)

My dc3 is an absolute dream, the easiest baby by far, and very loving. However it is much harder juggling 3 than it is having just two children.

I would never go back and undo having our third child. But the three do not play easily together all the time, one is inevitably left out, while the other two play. Hence trying to even things up with number 4!

Also going to things like swimming is ok with two, but try watching 3 in the pool when you are by yourself, it is a nightmare. Equally in the playground, looking three ways is harder than just 2..... but then I am like the others pregnant with number 4 so I must be totally crazy too!!!!!

I have 3, aged 5,3 and 18 months. Number 4 is due next month.

It is both wonderful and a nightmare. The close age gap makes things easier and harder.

Not very helpful for you, but it can go either way is what I am saying. Some days I wonder what on earth I have done, but most I want to burst with pride at my little brood.

I can understand using the 'last time' thing as a coping mechanism. I don't plan any more kids, so it has helped me cope with this pregnancy alot - which has been a catalogue of disasters.

Try to take a day at a time. Concentrate on enjoying your lovely little baby - store it all in your memory so that if this is your last one, you have done it right! And if not, you have not neglected this one because it was unfortunate to be born as a middle child

Middle child can be a definate issue in some families - never hte biggest/precious first born, and no longer the baby - another consideration for you, And more reason to enjoy this baby as much as possible while it is the baby.

WMDO - have read this thread with interest! Having said all along that our family would be complete with 2 DC'S, I turned to DH when DS2 was 3 days old and said 'can we have one more please???'

He was gobsmacked! And so am I!
I plan to let my hormones settle and give it 9-12 months before actually even thinking about TTC.

But you are not alone! I am in newborn heaven. Absolute heaven. And I dont want to think about this little one being my last. Makes me feel all sad!

Hi WMDO! OK - as you know I'm a new mum of 3! The big age gap I have 11, 7 and 2 wks helps enormously as the other two are not "offhand" so to speak, but certainly old enough to be of help and not hindrance. Plus they are at school all day and I get quality time with new baby. I certainly wouldn't want 3 so close together in age because I do think it would be too much hard work.

On a practical note, 3 kids v expensive to take on holiday and more problematic as family tends to be referred to as 2 adults, 2 kids - just finding this out when trying to book summer hols - does that put you off yet?

I stopped at 2 and then had an unplanned 3rd. He is the light of our lives and I absolutely adore every little bone on his body (he is 22now)

I have 3. DS1 is 6. DD1 is 3.5 and dd2 is 4 months.

It is lovely! My third pregnancy was hard work, especially as I feel so nausious in the first trimester. But now I couldn't be happier.

I would love a fourth, but have chosen not too because of finances