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Pregnancy

Birth Partner, did you have one?

3 replies

Linnet · 09/06/2003 22:52

Dh and I are planning baby #2. Dh was with me when our daughter was born nearly 6 years ago, but was not much help to be honest. He has a major fear of hospitals and was very brave and stuck with me right through the labour and birth.
On talking about baby #2 he has mentioned that he would rather not be with me when it's born. He'd be with me at the beginning but towards the end would rather wait outside.

I have no problem with this and to be honest I'd rather he wasn't there either as I feel uncomfortable with him seeing me in that situation, silly I know but that's just me. First delivery was in theatre in the end so he didn't really see anything too bad, but I'm hoping for a more natural birth next time, fingers crossed.

Has anyone else given birth without a birth partner? Do the midwives prefer for you to have someone with you at all times or is it up to the mother entirely? Last time it was just agreed that he would be there at all times so it wasn't something that I had ever thought about.
I don't have any close female friends I could ask to be with me(I do have friends but none that I would want to be with me at a time like that), no mother and no sister.

anyone else not had a birth partner? or planning to go it alone?

OP posts:
WideWebWitch · 09/06/2003 22:58

Hi Linnet, no experience (my dh was there) but what about a doula? Pupuce is a doula and has a website here with some good info and stats on doulas. Or a search on Google on 'doula' should bring up some explanations and suggestions.

pupuce · 11/06/2003 13:10

Thanks WWW - Linnet... if you want to hear about what mothers thought after they had hired a doula (birth partner).... read more here
doula.org.uk/findadoula/testimonial.php

Hiring a doula is a personal choice.... don't let the financial aspects of it deter you from asking around and talking to doulas most of us accept monthly payment or do bartering...

Also Doula UK is surveying mums who had a postnatal doula.... and here are some of the results:
All of the mothers (100%) were happy with their doulas, would recommend her to a friend and use a doula again! They and their partners had found the doula?s presence reassuring.
Overall the results were extremely positive and no question was answered negatively! Only 33% of the mums were first time mothers and all had a partner.

pupuce · 11/06/2003 13:10

Sory I meant to say : Also Doula UK is surveying mums who had a BIRTH doula

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