Please can someone help - miscarrying now - practicalities

[WestYorkshireGirl]

Please can anyone help? I started bleeding last night (very light), then went for my 12 wk scan and it showed no heart beat and baby too small. Been told to come back on 18 Jan to confirm pregnancy not been successful. In the meantime, severe cramps have started and bleeding heavily. Am struggling to cope - sanitary towels not working and getting onto clothes. Should I get in the bath as I can't keep sitting on the toilet as that hurts my back. Does anyone know how long it will last? Have taken strong painkillers, but don't know how much more of this I can take as it's been a hour now.

WYG and WYG's DH, I've just seen this and am so very sorry. We were on the same TTC thread and now we're both here - I haven't actually mc'd officially yet, but have been bleeding and am waiting to see what happens.

I know this is a devastating loss and just sending best wishes for your recovery. Take care of each other.

x

Stillfrazzled - I am so sorry to see you here too. Thanks so much for your thoughts. I had a terrible night on Thurs with lots of pain and blood, but now the pain is less constant. Just taking things very easy and slowly and having a cry when I need to. I hope your bleeding is nothing to worry about - have you had a scan to confirm?

WYG, still too early to scan but I know anyway - just done three pg tests and all neg.

Mostly just devastated, to the point of wanting to throw up, but also now scared of the pain.

It's so f**king unfair, isn't it?

SF - Not everyone has bad pain. My mw said it can be a very individual process and you may bleed lightly. Mine seemed to be mostly over in 9 hours in terms of pain, but I am still bleeding but get cramps only periodically unlike the other night when constant and like contractions. I have found the leaflets on the Miscarriage Association website informative about the process and coping with it. Am going to Drs tomorrow to be signed off for the week. Have second scan a week tomorrow to check all the remains have gone. I didn't want to go to hospital and just felt if I was losing my baby I wanted to be at home in familiar surroundings, not sitting in some hospital toilet with no privacy. If you do miscarry and want support, just let me know.

Yes - it's bloody unfair and I get very sad about it - today has been a sad day, but hope tomorrow will be better.

Today's a sad day for me too. Got almost no sleep but have come into work because feel like I want to be distracted. So far it is not working.

I know this happens to so many women, but at the moment can't get past thinking it'll be months and months before I'm pg again, and even then I will be a basket case because how could you ever trust the test again?

SF and WYG, I am so sorry for both of your losses. Just reading this thread has me in tears. I have no personal experience of this but am currently 7 weeks preg with 3rd DC and am really scared that MC's just seem so bloody common. In a way, I can't believe I've avoided it so far.

I was so sorry to see that you had been on the same TTC thread as well- how sad.

WYG your DH is a sweetie, making time to update the thread when you were at your worst. He's a keeper!

I know it's too soon, but I do wish you both all the best if you try again.

Thanks hippychick.

Will definitely try again - TBH if I knew I was OV'ing tonight I'd go for it. Don't know if that's sensible but I feel so empty.

I really hope you have a luckier time and a beautiful DC3 - I'm sure you will.

Hi,
Sorry this is happening to you - it happened to me much the same time. Severe bleeding and the pain with it lasted about 3 hours - then magically disappeared. I still had light bleeding for 3 weeks after as not everything had come out - but the worst of it was 3 hours.

I stayed on the toilet - not really knowing what was happening too much, but losing too much blood for towels.

You will probably feel a bit lightheaded for the next few days - loss of blood/iron.

Take it easy and be easy on yourself.

Sorry again - its horrible isn't it.

Thanks. We will try again, but not for a bit until after a period. Yes - I am feeling really tired - physically and emotionally and just taking things easy. Am taking Floradix which hope will help and Dr prescribed some tablets for the cramps today too.

Just wanted to say sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself.

Hey WYG, glad you're taking things easy.

Am still waiting for bleeding etc to happen, is horrible really - know it's over but it's not actually over yet, IYSWIM.

SF If the bleeding starts and you are at-all scared please make sure you know who to call and what to do. I guess in a way it's good to be for-warned.

How awful to be in this limbo. Can the doctor do anything or do you want to go ahead and let nature take it's course.

My sis was offered something to make the baby come away, but opted for letting it happen naturally. I think it was similar to WYG's experience once it did come away.

Really thinking of you and sending a virtual hug your way.

WYG, how you doing today? Better, I hope?

Hippychick, Dr seems to think that since I was so early on, the small bleed I had was all there was. Hope so, anyway. Thanks for the hug, too

Hi SF. I am doing Ok today. I made a big effort to get up at a sensible time and I have been pottering about doing things. We have terrible black ice today so I am staying indoors. How are you?

SF and WYG so sorry. I hope you?re both feeling better.
I?m miscarrying at the moment at about 9 or 10 weeks. Had very bad cramps and bleeding all night ? and my very nice GP prescribed me some lovely painkillers this morning which make me nicely fuzzy in between pains, but the pain still hurts when it comes! (About every 3 minutes). Obviously I didn?t sleep at all. Have a scan tomorrow. He told me DP to take me to A&E if I become obviously weak or in agony. I suppose some bleeding for a long time leads to the same blood loss as a lot in a short time so it?s difficult to say how much is too much.

Last time I miscarried (10 weeks size baby but at 16 weeks) I haemorrhaged more than half my blood so I?m a tad nervous.

I?ve been signed off for a week ? I?m a secondary teacher so wouldn?t cope emotionally let alone physically for a few days, but probably won?t take the full week off.
How about you?

I'm lots better, thank you. Feel like I can accept what has happened and ready to start again.

Trying to see it as basically a v late period, which is more or less what it was - so much less traumatic physically than what either of you (WYG and UnderneathTheStream) went through.

Just wanted to say how sorry I am for your losses, WYG and Stillfrazzled. Give yourselves time, and don't deny your feelings. Don't let yourself or anyone else belittle what has happened. Good luck for sucessful pregnancies soon. x

Thanks, bear.

How you doing today, WYG?

Hi SF. Well, the bleeding had nearly stopped, but on Weds I had pain much lower than previously and pain internally when urinating. It wasn't like cystitis which I've always found more painful as it leaves the body. Have been to Drs and they have taken a urine sample to see if it's a urine infection - am going back on Sat. Hope not as I just want to get better now!

Went to my weekly pilates class yesterday and done a lot more normal things. I was worried I would feel really sad as it's a week yesterday since the scan and it all started, but it's been a lot better than I thought. Have received 2 lovely bunches of flowers from people at work which has cheered me up. Planning to be back at work next week and have scan on Mon to check everything's gone.

How are you?

Pretty much OK, I think - but I'm helped by only having known I was pg for about five minutes (well, five days) before it all went wrong, and also that with such a tiny amount of bleeding, physically it was just a period.

Mind you, suspect will be much more upset when my AF comes round.

The pains sound nasty, hope they can sort you out asap. Glad people are looking after you...