Should we try for Baby 3?

[DramaticGene]

I'm blessed with two lovely children (7&5) but have always, always really wanted a slightly larger family. As has DH. Now, for one reason or another (nothing awful, just serious dithering) we never went for it. One month it was concern for the planet's population, the next concern for existng children, next concern for whatever. and suddenly here we are four years on. Anyway, basically, the feeling of wanting another child has never gone away and I just feel like I'm in the last chance saloon. (am nearly 39, husband 40). Should we ride out the natural instincts storm until it really is too late? Is is too late? Am I being really selfish to think this way? Should we go for it?... despite age / age gaps etc?

Your thoughts would be appreciated.

If you really feel that your family is not complete yet then I would say go for it and as long as you don't have any health issues to contend with then lots of people have babies at your age.
I can only speak from experience of not feeling quite complete until we had 3rd but now we have 3 I don't have the urge to have another that I had done after the first two...
can't help more than that apart from saying that the age gap would probably mean you'd have some nice time with the baby when it arrives with the others being at school.

Hi, I am 19 weeks pregnant with DC3. I have 2 DSs 8 (will be 9) and 6. We also debated over a 3rd for many years and in the end decided to go for it. I worried over the age gap that there would be and also the financial impact of a third. In the end we decided to go for it, and I don't have any regrets. The boys are very excited and can't wait for the new arrival. The age gap means they will be more independant and are both keen to help out.

I personally felt I might always have regretted not trying for a third DC, but am sure I will never regret having a third once it's here.

Your age is definately not a factor in ruling it out, and you are definatley not selfish in worrying about these things.

Good luck in what ever you decide

If you both want why not try? How will you feel though if you try and it doesn't happen?

Hi, I have 2 DS's 9 & 6 and we decided recently that we wanted just 1 more DC. I am 43 and seriously worried that I might have left it too late. We just felt that the boys were old enough to be a help with a baby and life wouldn't be too hard (haha).

Anyway I am now 6.5 weeks preg with the 3rd. I am worried about the fact that MC's are more common in older women but that's all. I'm not worried about the planet (although DH was a bit), also not worried about the age gap - I know the boys will be really pleased when we tell them. Just gotta get past the next few weeks.

I say go for it, but don't make it the be all and end all - just incase it doesn't happen. If you're not blessed with a third you'll always have the 2 that you love dearly. Good luck.

Thanks for your lovely replies Ladies!

I'm really pleased and surprised to see that I'm not alone in how I feel. I do think I'm being held hostage by Mother Nature to a certain extent. I read somewhere that most women have one child less than they would really like to. Certainly my friends with 3 kids say that 4 would be great.

Still, at the moment I feel like I've somehow failed. Irrational, selfish, stupid I know. And I do know just how lucky I am to have two healthy, happy children already.

Hello, I am 37 years and have 2 x DS aged 7 and 5. Would love no.3 but each time we discuss it always come up with a reason to decide not to. I am currently half way through my PGCE and also I am going to be matron of honour in September (dress already hanging upstairs!)- both of the reasons are holding me back.

However we have kinda decided that this pill packet will be my last and we will just see what happens!!!!!!! I know I will regret not trying for a third.

I have had 2 m/c and this fact also has held us back. Fingers crossed for us all. S x

Go for it!

I am one of 3 and it was great. So many people stop at 2 now and I dont know why.

I am currently pg with dc2, dd is 18mo and I know in a few years I will want to do it again. If I do, I will because I know I would only regret it.

My sister is 3 years older then me and my brother is 5 years younger then me. We all got on really well when we younger and still do now.

Good luck

Think you'll never regret the children you have - just the ones you dont have

Hi DramaticGene, I'm 38 and have 2 children aged 9 and 7 and am expecting my 3rd, definitely a last chance saloon baby. I never quite felt I was finished with just 2 but I am pretty sure this will be my last. I know it's a crazy age gap but I feel I will really cherish and enjoy this baby because the older 2 are at school and are getting more independent. Not sure why it might be selfish - do you mean overpopulating the planet? Anyway, good luck with your decision. I'm sure you wouldn't regret having #3.

Hello, I am 8 weeks pregnant with No.3. We have 2DC (4 and nearly 3). It took me longer than I anticipated to conceive no3 as the first two happened instantly. We knew we wanted 3 but put it off for reasons such as 2 family weddings in one year. If your and your husbands' hearts say 3 then don't delay, don't wait for the best time, you won't regret it if it works out, but you might both regret for the rest of your lives what no3 may have been like and how they could add another wonderful dimension to you and your children's lives. I am one of 3 and would want nothing else.

Good luck!

thought I ought to namechange...from thebfN to thebfP!!!