DC3 or not DC3..That is the question....

[Mooncupflowethover]

Not sure if this is the best place to post, but here goes...

I am very fortunate to have 2DS's, one 2.9 the other 8m. I adore them more than I can say.

DH is planning on having the snip, sometime later on this year was discussed. I was in agreement, given our ages (I'm 40 this year, he's 47), financial constraints, both were caesarians, crap pregnancies with Gestational diabetes, the list is endless...so far so good.

However, I'm wavering. As the baby clothes, toys, equipment etc is being boxed/bagged up to sell/give to charity, I'm having second thoughts (privately, haven't told DH). I'm sure I could talk him into DC3 ultimately, but I'm not sure my reason is justifiable....it's that I would dearly love to have a daughter.

As I said, I adore my boys, I would never change them, I have never wished they were girls. I would just love a girl.

Obviously the flaw in my plan is the randomness of gender! If I had a 3rd boy it wouldn't be the end of the world, far from it. I already have a name picked out for either gender.

In my heart I know that I should stop, that all these daft thoughts about DC3 should be consigned to the far corner of my mind and stay there. I just keep THINKING about it over and over.

Has anyone else felt like this? Did you go on to have a 3rd DC? Was it how you imagined, or do you wish you'd stuck at 2?
Did you stick at 2 and forget the yearning for a DC3? Somebody give me some home truths and a kick up the backside, I need it

Could have written your post 8m ago. Have similar issues and concerns. After umm-ing and ah-ing for quite some time (and giving dh enough time to like the idea) am now expecting dc3.

The question I found most useful in helping us decide is, do we want another person in the family or do we want another baby? The decision should also be made when baby stuff is out of sight and mind!

i knew when i had 2 that i needed a third. i am so glad i did
third babies rock

i have 3 boys btw and it's fab

Oh yes - although I have a DD and a DS. I just knew things were not complete and really wanted another. However I was full of doubts and what ifs. In the end we just stuck our heads in the sand and got on with it. I fell pregnant first month and I am now 9 weeks. We are still ignoring it

Mooncup - you could be me!!! I have 2 Ds's who are 5 and 2 and I love them more than anything... I'm 37 and had been thinking about a 3rd baby for about a year. It must have started when DS2 was about 1 and I have to say it hasn't eased up at all... DH is not really keen but would be supportive though. He just likes things the way they are.

Anyway, while I was still fantising about a 3rd child I became pregnant and it was awful because I totally paniced - I was suddenly so upset to be pregnant and started worrying about all the practicalities and the negative effect on my DS's. I just didn't want to be pregnant at all and the sickness didn't help. True enough DH was supportive and I would have got my head round it but sadly miscarried. I felt huge guilt around the fact that at the time I didn't want to be pregnant, but in reality I know it would have happened anyway.

Now my thoughts are even more consumed with a third child as I'm now thinking it would be lovely again, I think I was just so shocked to have it become reality and I didn't have the time to get used to it before it was gone. I've tried to reconcile the way I'm feeling and make sure I'm not just trying to replace the baby we lost.

So, what I'm doing is trying to be realistic about what it would be like and imagine all the scenarios of having a 3rd child in the house - holidays, bedrooms, how would I find time to do DS's homework with them etc... Basically consider the praticalities and not the idelaistic dream of 3 well behaved children sitting down quietly colouring in . Not suggesting thats what you are doing, but its easy to imagine it through rose tinted glasses.

So sorry I cant be more help, it is a minefield! The only thing I sometimes fall back on is that saying of "you will never regret the baby you have but you may regret the baby you dont have".

If you've already got the names picked out I'd say that was a sure sign that you want another!
I've heard many of my friend's parents say their only regret in life is not having more children.
I love the idea of a big family, I'm one of two & find it quite lonely sometimes.
Am always envious of friends who are part of a big family.