At what point did you stop visiting people?

[sheeplikessleep]

We've been invited to SILs this month, when I'll be 30 weeks. They live a 3 hour drive away and I wanted to get some perspective, am I being selfish by not wanting to go?

I feel quite drained from Christmas and just fancied a couple of quieter months, trying to get house sorted (we've yet to finish decorating 2 bedrooms) before DS2 arrives.

But, I feel like I'm being a bit mean not wanting to go. I just feel like I want my own bed now, we did a lot of driving over Christmas and I'm only just getting over a cold that's lasted 2 months.

I've suggested to DH that they could visit us, maybe in February, when house should be in more order. Am I being mean?

Thanks for reading.

I never stopped visiting people but was always quite relaxed about that kind of thing. I don't think that you should feel that you need to stop travelling and certainly wouldn't worry about that at 30 weeks but I think the issue is more that you don't want to. And if you don't want to then don't go. Just say that Xmas was hectic and you want to take it easy for a bit. Remember too that if you don't feel like it now you probably won't feel like a visit in February either!

I am with you on this one - I stopped visiting at about 30 weeks as wanted to be near hospital just in case and generally resting up a lot more.
Family generally understand !

Thing is that I wouldn't visit my own sister and would be honest with her about not fancying the travelling now. But I know my ILs will expect me to go.

DH says he could take DS overnight to give me a weekend off, but I'm getting quite stressed about getting both rooms finished!! Last time when DS was 1 day old, DH got up at 5 am to finish decorating the nursery as DS arrived 3 weeks early. So, I just want to be more organised this time.

I think that when pregnant you should listen to your body and feelings even more that ever. Totally understand you not really wanting to go and think it would help you feel better if you did pick up phone to SIL and explain how you are feeling. I found the Christmas travelling exhausting myself and I am only 14 weeks.

Have a think if you could finish house the following two weekends. Would you just feel miserable at your SIL thinking about the unfinished house or could it be quite a fun weekend?

Hope this helps, but pls don't feel guilty about not feeling much like doing things when in your last trimester. I remember quite a few friends cancelling on me when heavilt pregnant and I didn't think bad of them for doing it.

I'm going to Scotland next week for 4 days (I live in NI) to visit a friend. I'll be 33 weeks pregnant, but I wasn't afraid about the flying, or the travel.

To be honest, I haven't slowed down at all since being pregnant - don't know if that's because of my age, the fact this is my first pregnancy or simply because I haven't had the chance to slow down.

It's up to you whether you go to SIL's or not, but there is no definite 'right or wrong'.

8 hour journey to parents for christmas at 34 weeks. Groan. Glad I went but that's the end of the travelling now - we've said no to a wedding at 38 weeks which would be 6 hours drive, though i know others would go. It's up to you, you're not being mean at all!

Im now coming upto 37 weeks and with me being classed as "Full term" i just dont want to go out without DH or someone else driving just in case, also it has been advised to carry notes just in case!!! now with BH and discomfort i will rather be at home nice and snug and warm!!!!!!!

I guess the journey is long and maybe people should understand and put your needs first rather then what they want from you! judge it to how you feel and dont feel guilty!! good luck xx

thanks for posting. you're all quite a bit further on than me, but i feel this pregnancy is so much more tiring than the last one!

dh is ringing sil tonight and explaining, so hopefully she'll be okay about it.

Sitting in a car for three hours is not fun in late pregnancy, I guess at 30 weeks it depends how big you are.

Personal choice I guess - if it was for a wedding / something important probably would go, but if just for a visit maybe not?

I did a 7 hour journey at 36 weeks & ended up having dd in Wales instead of E. Anglia.

I totally get the not wanting to go anywhere. When pg with DD I travelled at Christmas but was very reluctant to go to a family (in laws) trip to Norfolk in January for MILs 60th - ended up being cancelled anyway but I was getting ready to dig my heels in and that must have been around 30w.
I am now 32w with second pregnancy and I don't want to go anyway far at all, especially with the weather the way it is and talk of a long cold snap.
In December DH wanted to visit his elderly gran 3-4 hours away and I said I wasn't going he could go himself if he wanted to.
I can't even explain it really but I just don't want to be far from home.

I went camping a 4 hour drive away at 34 weeks, but I wanted to. If you don't want to you shouldn't - it sounds more like it's about how tired you are after Christmas and needing to get your decorating done than your stage of pregnancy.

It seems perfectly reasonable that you've invited them to you instead.

Put your foot down - you have an excuse!

I totally understand not wanting to go anywhere! I won't visit my mum on teeside now, and my last visit to another part of Yorkshire was early december. I'm 35+3 now and don't want to leave York - and more particularly I don't want to leave Yorkshire as I want my little fella to be a Yorkshireman!

I did a 4 hour drive when I was 34 weeks but was clear to the family that it was the last trip of that nature I was doing before the baby. I carried on working for a further week which meant a 2 hour drive a day and that was starting to be uncomfortable. I am now 37 + weeks and since then people have been here instead.
There are no rights or wrongs in this situation - you just need to go with what is right for you and how you feel.

I had all the family to us for my birthday at 39 weeks rather than the hours drive to them. Although organising food for them all was abit of an effort!

This time round were travelling 3.5 hours to cardiff for our close friends wedding at 37 weeks. DH is the bestman. Notes and labour bag will be with me Just in case! If It hadnt been thier wedding then we wouldnt be going that far. DD was 2 weeks late so going by experience it will be fine but sods law and all that!

I think the latest I travelled when pregnant with DD1, was about 34 weeks which was a 4hr drive back 6hrs back with traffic but I really wanted to go and had a really relaxed time stayed with our two gay friends who are great hosts and was weighted on hand and foot by three men! enjoyed some nice meals out and found it relaxing hubby did the motorway driving so it was quite relaxing only prob I had was the toilet stops I seemed to need to stop all the time!

2 weeks before I was due we went my brothers weddign venue to visit it etc... do a trail run and I was nervous and stressy about the travel but I think it was first baby nerves! now I'd just travel with notes and bags and think phew baby not born in essex

My mum lives 3hrs on a good day but is easily 4hr - 6hrs on a bad day so I'm not planning to go there this time after 35 weeks as dd was a week or so early! Its personal choice

thanks all for posting, you've made me feel better about it all. it's more difficult when its in-laws, rather than my own blood relatives (who i wouldn't think twice about saying thanks but no thanks to and i know they'd understand without any comeback).

thanks for taking the time to post.

this is such a personal thing but I'd say if you don't want to do it don't go.

I realised the other day that we haven't got any more trips coming up now and I'm thrilled. I'm 35 weeks now and we drove to the in laws over Christmas (only a couple of hours) but I was glad to get home and made hubby pack my notes, the car seat and my hospital bag just in case.

To be honest though my wanting to stay near home is more to do with tiredness than anything else.

I don't think you're being unreasonable. Do whatever feels right - you're growing a person in there for god's sake!