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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Looks like I am having a c section. How will I cope with my toddler???

18 replies

Momdeguerre · 31/12/2009 19:41

Hi,
Need some advice please. I had a natural first labour but because I have developed cholestasis, had a third degree tear and other damage in addition to this baby measuring huge already at 25 weeks (ds was 9lbs 1oz) my consultant is suggesting that I should have a planned c section.

I am terrified.

DS will be 21 months and I don't know if I will be able to look after him after a c section?

I am really worried I won't bond with the baby in the same way and worried it will prevent me from breastfeeding.

I am also vain!! My consultant thinks I risk a colostomy bag if I go ahead with a natural labour but I am also worried about what effect the section will have? Does it ruin your stomach muscles? What does the scar look like? I am a very keen runner - will it stop me from running???????

Am so worried and confused.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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sarah293 · 31/12/2009 19:46

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MadamDeathstare · 31/12/2009 19:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

negrilbaby · 31/12/2009 20:34

I had a cs with DS and was actually up and about within 12 hours (a bossy midwife). In the hospital I was directed to the linen store when I requested my bed be changed (you can imagine it wasn't very fresh following major surgery and childbirth)so was making up a bed by the second day.
I was feeling a lot less sore than my niece who gave birth naturally and ended up with 3rd degree tears.
Am 13 weeks pregnant now and DS will be almost 2 1/2 when new baby arrives. The midwife keeps talking about VBAC but I think I want to go for another CS.

traceybath · 31/12/2009 20:40

Had my third c-section in july - was up and showering within 12 hours.

DS2 was 19 months and had chicken pox so was quite hard to be honest.

The guidelines are not to lift anything (so your toddler) for 6 weeks post c-section but this was just not feasible for me. But I did notice I bled a lot more when I'd done too much.

So if you can have help to lift toddler into bath/highchair that would be great.

I'm bf dc3 and ds2 who was uber clingy has coped well.

Regarding vanity - scar is low - I could easily wear a very low bikini bottom and you wouldn't see it. Have also lost most of the weight and have no overhang.

So - my advice would be get as much help as you can but it will be fine.

Good luck and congratulations.

Ceebee74 · 31/12/2009 20:40

I have had 2 c-sections - my second one was elective and DS1 was 2.4 at the time.

I think children are quite adaptable and will understand very quickly that you are not able to do certain things. I just told DS1 that my tummy was poorly and therefore I couldn't lift him for a while. I was still able to sit on the sofa and drag/let him climb up for cuddles etc. It also helped that he had moved to a bed by then so I could sit on his bed and give him a cuddle before bedtime etc.

As for the scar, yes I have an overhang but think that is because DS2 was a 9lb4 baby and stretched my stomach beyond all recognition!! I am a veery keen gym-goer and was back at the gym in my aerobics class (but doing it low impact) by 6 weeks and was pretty much back to full fitness within a couple of months of that. DS2 is now 13 months old and I am fitter than I have ever been!!

traceybath · 31/12/2009 20:45

Had my third c-section in july - was up and showering within 12 hours.

DS2 was 19 months and had chicken pox so was quite hard to be honest.

The guidelines are not to lift anything (so your toddler) for 6 weeks post c-section but this was just not feasible for me. But I did notice I bled a lot more when I'd done too much.

So if you can have help to lift toddler into bath/highchair that would be great.

I'm bf dc3 and ds2 who was uber clingy has coped well.

Regarding vanity - scar is low - I could easily wear a very low bikini bottom and you wouldn't see it. Have also lost most of the weight and have no overhang.

So - my advice would be get as much help as you can but it will be fine.

Good luck and congratulations.

Original poster

Momdeguerre · 31/12/2009 21:12

Thank you for your experiences. Makes me feel more positive about it. Think I am just going to have to adjust.

OP posts:

geordieminx · 31/12/2009 21:17

I had a section at 1pm Friday, was home 7pm Saturday, as I over-took consultant in the corridor that afternoon so he reckoned I was ready to go home - I wasnt going to argue.

You will cope. It will be fine.

Chynah · 01/01/2010 12:58

My section was fine - scar very low and no overhang. Was back running 5 weeks after.

tallbirduk · 01/01/2010 15:28

Momdeguerre - I had an emergency c-section with DS1 and it was also fine.

Scar is very low (top of pubic hair), no overhang and like Chynah I was back running 5 weeks afterwards - managed 25 minutes non-stop straight out and the flopping of my post-baby belly was the most uncomfortable / unpleasant thing.

I was out of hospital within 2 days (I wanted to leave, they needed the beds) and managed a 2 mile walk to the shops and back (slowly) within a week.

I think an elective could be 'better' - I hadn't slept for 2 days because I had been in labour before I finally got operated on so I was already knackered, and then being on the ward meant another 2 nights of no sleep!!

Oh, and I breastfed DS in the recovery room ~1 hour after he was born.

christiana · 01/01/2010 15:40

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christiana · 01/01/2010 15:41

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christiana · 01/01/2010 15:43

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vivivi · 01/01/2010 15:49

I had an emergency cs, and was up and about the next day. DD was in SCIBU so no choice really! Also managed to express milk until she was able to feed about two weeks later. Scar is really neat, I barely notice it now. I think that planned cs would be much calmer and would allow you to be plenty rested for your new bundle.

MummyAnnabella · 01/01/2010 16:37

you will be fine. i had 2nd section and ds1 was just 15 months.

just do NOT lift toddler for 3/4 weeks at least and get dh to do as much as poss. try and have help with childcare for 2 to 3 weeks at start. this will let you recover and establish bf.

i fed both dc after 2 emergeny sections and it was fine.

just take every offer of help - something i am terrible at but am having 3rd section this year and am practising saying yes thanks to every offer i may get.

Original poster

Momdeguerre · 01/01/2010 21:21

Very reassuring to see that you can be mobile so soon after a section, and am delighted to see that running again does not seem to be a problem.

Part of me is relieved at the thought of not having to go through labour again and the predicted size of this baby scares me. I also ended up with bladder damage last time.

Really helps that people have had such positive experiences. Thank you.

OP posts:

sheepgomeep · 02/01/2010 22:03

I had a emergency section with dd but I did have complications after it, My wound did not healfor 2 months and I haemorraged through my wound. My bladder was also damaged and I had loads of problems with my catheter afterwards.

But eventually I did get better, I still have a slight overhang but my scar line is small and neat.

I am expecting dc 4 and my consultant wants me to try for a vbac because the only reason why I had a section was because dd2 was brow presenting. But as she was nearly 9 lb 9 and there is every chance this baby will be heavier I would like another section!

whatsthetimemrwolf · 03/01/2010 10:32

I had ELCS when DD was 17.5 months old. I think the trick is to get you toddler a bit more independent before your CS (try not to pick them up/carry them unnecessarily).

Good luck!

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