Doing too much.

[Deemented]

I know i am, but in all honesty, if i don't do it, it won't get done.

DS is five, DD 19 months and i'm almost 35 weeks pregnant. DP is good, when he's here, but he has a son and his ex won't let his son have any contact with me, so when he has his son, approx 3 times a week, i don't see him.

I have GD, and my immune system is knackered - i seem to shake a cold for a week or so, but then it comes back, and i am permantley blowing my nose and have a great big red hooter.

I'm just so tired, and i know it's only going to get worse when the new baby arrives.

Sorry for the moan. I just don't have anywhere else to let this out.

You are not moaning in the slightest!!!

Everyone tells me the last few weeks being heavily pregnant with little ones is harder than with a newborn - hold onto that thought.

For now, whatever you cook make more and freeze it, one more dinner sorted. Put washing machine on before you go to bed, sort it out in the morning. Go to bed early!

Go easy on yourself good luck!!!

Deemented, you poor thing - you are more than entitled to have a moan. These last few weeks are so hard.

If it helps your not alone, Im bloody knackered and am biting the head off everyone because of it (and hormones maybe??) I was so tired last Saturday I actually sat down and cried.

Am 34 weeks, have recently been signed off work as havent been well, have dd whos 4, house is in a bloody mess and dh is absolutely useless, if Im sitting down he has to be too so Im trying to get the place sorted and rooms cleaned out (I mean a serious mess!- moved in a year ago and loads of clearing/ diy still to be sorted) by myself. Have loads of painting to do this week.

Am also doing degree (law) and have to submit my final assignment (for this semester) tomorrow which is worth 50% of final mark of one subject, have been up til all hours trying to get it done, this is my 5th bloody assignment since end of September and has been so stressful and have my exams 2 weeks before Im due.

Also dh stupidly lost his license 2 years ago and is banned from driving (is due to get it back my due date) and is gigging part time to try raise extra cash, we live in middle of nowhere so Im driving everywhere for both of us and have to wait up till 2am 2/3 days a week to collect him.

Had MC at beginning of year at 8 weeks so have worked out that I've been pregnant for 42 weeks so far this year and am so pissed off. If I go to term Ill be pregnant for 48 weeks in total.

Was supposed to be on bloody bed rest couple of weeks ago. Not a chance.

Am sorry - completely hijacked your thread there and went overboard rambling - just wanted to vent to someone in similiar position and let you know your not alone.

God no - feel free to rant away my love. It's nice to know that it's not just me. I just feel like nobody else could give a shit, yunno?

Actually, what i really want is someone to come in and take over. To send me to bed and then to wait on me for a change. To have someone make me a cuppa or a meal i haven't prepared myself would be absolute bliss. For someone to say.. 'No Dee, you sit down, i'll do it'

Fat chance though.

It's completely normal to feel exhausted and thoroughly peed off! Yesterday I sat and cried cos I was so tired and I'm only 29 weeks (21 month old DD was looking at me like I'd gone completely mad!)........terrifying that it will get worse! Feel free to rant away as much as you need - we all understand where you're coming from XX

rant away..late pregnancy is knackering enough without having a load of other stuff todeal with.
I have GD too, am only 20 weeks and am so stressed..4 other children DH working every hour under the sun at the mo, Im working 7 days a week and we are moving house first week of JAN..

are there any family members that can help?

I'm not surprised you're knackered! Have you tried to get some more time from your DP. I really think you need all the support you can get at this stage. I'm feeling rubbish too, have just had winter vomiting and diarrhoea virus and not shaking it off as well as I would normally have done, but at least I don't have any other children to look after, so I'm thankful for that.

Try to find some times in the day when you can mollicoddle yourself for a bit. Make DP cook his own dinner (and yours) for example - get some ready meals in. Its definitely time to wind down as much as pos.

It's really difficult with DP's ex. He really does need to grow a pair and stand up to her, but she holds his son over him, and has threatened more then once to stop him seeing him. She doesn't even know about the baby yet - he's too scared to tell her before Christmas in case she stops him seeing his son over the festivities. And don't get me started on his bloody mother!! I swear he has this list and i'm certainly not near the top of it

Right now, the kids are crating havoc, my head feels like it's going to explode and i'd happily walk out the front door and not come back if you said i could have an uninterrupted sleep.

blimey..wheres his b*s?..you are his partner, expecting his baby and need his support..no wonder you feel exhausted...
shame on his ex partner for using her little boy to get at your DP..I can understand he feels torn between home and his little boy..maybe he should be taking some legal advice if there is a fear she will stop contact..is there a formal contact agreement in place?

No, there's nothing formal in place. I keep telling him to sort something out, but he really is a tomorrow kinda bloke. His son has learning difficulties, and can't cope with change very well, and when DP left - over two years ago now - his ex told their son that he had left because of him, and it's taken till now for DP to really regain his trust. I know i shouldn't moan about his ex, but i'd like to get hold of her and shake her at times, i really would. And i can see what's going to happen when she does find out about the baby... she'll tell their son that daddy has a new family now and doesn't need him anymore. I can see it coming a mile off

I'm just so sick of it all. I'm snappy and contackerous and everyone is getting it. I just want to run away and hide.

its so sad that his ex is using her little boy like that..especially if he has LD..she should have been reassuring him, not unsettling him.
I think your DP really does need a formal contact agreement, this is especially important if keping to a routine is important..also..your DSS has a right to know his new sibling too

The ex sounds like a right bitch! Your partner's son is about to have a new sibling and has a right to know about it. He'd probably be really excited to have a new brother or sister. Can you not ask your DP to talk to the ex. He'll have to explain at some point. She can't withhold access just because she feels like it and she may not if she knows all the facts - if she threatens to withhold access, then he should say that he will see a lawyer and get some formal access arrangements put in place. There's always the reciprocal threat of course of DP withholding money from her if she withholds access, but better to be a bit more civil about it in the first instance if pos. Either way, you need to get more of DP's time for you now, even more so, when your baby is born, because you'll need his help.

Sounds like DP has some baggage!!

Family issues (which you normally cope with) always feel a million times worse when you're tired.

Is there anywhere your children could go for a few hours once a week or something? Is there a friend who could have them, or a playgroup/ toddler session at a community hall? Just so you have a few hours to put your feet up.

Sending you 'relaxing' vibes....

Thanks all for your kind words. I'm afraid i'm at the end of my thether this morning.

DP came home last night, and said that if i left DC's clothes out for the morning then he'd dress them and take the eldest to school, leaving me in bed. That was more then fine with me. Early on this morning, DD wakes up - a notorious early riser - and DP said not to worry, he's get up with her. That was at five am. At half seven he came and woke me up telling me the time and asking would i mind if he went back to bed as he was knackered. He's still there now, whereas i have fed and dressed the kids, taken them on the school run, come home, washed the dishes, put a load of wet washing in the dryer, and put a dirty load on to be washed. I'm now having some breakfast as i've just taken my insulin, before i get on with making DS a crown for his nativity play, and then wrapping some presents.

I'm not going to bother waking DP - whats the fucking point?? He's neither use or ornament, and quite frankly, i'm rather sick of it. He's not even going to be here tonight as his sons school is doing the nativity tonight, and it's going to be too late to come back so he'll just go straight to his mums.

I swear i'm so tired i could cry. I don't really have any family to speak of... my dads down here, but he lives a good half hour away, and does what he can, but he's in his 70's now and deserves some peace. The rest of my family live 250 miles away, and aren't really interested.

Oh and to top it all off - DP got an appointment yesterday to go for an operation on Jan 14, which will leave him incapactitated for at least three weeks.

grrrr..Dee..I could throttle your DP on your behalf..does he work?

you are 35 weeks pregnant and a high risk pregnancy..I bet he was no where near as knackered as you are

Yes, he's a security guard, working mainly at football matches and concerts ect.

He finally rolled out of bed at quarter to eleven this morning. It feels like i've not stopped today, just come back from the school run. Never mind. Only three more hours to bedtime...

right so Im guessing he does some unsociable hours etc..so I can appreciate he is tired too..but you are growing a brand new person, have GD and other littlies to look after so he needs to think about you for a change..sorry if that sounds ranting..Im pregnant and hormonal and take no prisoners at the mo

I've just read everything back, and now i feel guilty

He is good really, and i know i shouldn't moan about him.

dont feel guilty..Im sure he is good..but he probably needs to be REALLY good right now..you need a rest and in all seriousness if you dont sit down and take some time out..you will burn out..not good for you or baby...
everything always seems magnified when you are tired though which doesnt help.

I know. Thanks for being so understanding

I'm sposed to be going out for a meal tomorrow night with the girls, and i really can't be arsed. I've nowt that fits me right, and everything that does makes look like a sack of spuds. I'm half tempted to go into town tomorrow and treat myself to a nice new top and a pair of trousers that actually fit, and say bugger it all.

I would say..go out and yes definitely treat yourself to something nice..you will feel so much better for it.
When I was expecting DS2..I had the pregnancy from hell..felt run down etc all the time..was invited to a family disco at 35 weeks pregnant..so went..begrudgingly..ended up being dragged off the dance floor at 1am..mind you I paid for it the next day..thought Id gone into labour

I can't believe your DP! I'd go on strike for a few days if I were you - including witholding sex! Go out this evening and leave him to fend for himself (i.e. get his own dinner).

Does he have any idea how you feel?? Tell him really frankly. My DP is great, but I still don't think any man can really understand just what it is like. I said I felt like I had just been run over by a bus all day, every day - that seemed to sink in. Be clear about it. It is soooooo hard being pregnant at this stage, and you have other health probs and children. DP should not be acting like another one of your children.

His operation is spectacularly ill timed. Is it urgent?? Can he reschedule it for say a month or so later. Can his parents help him recuperate??