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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

33 weeks pregnant just had notice served plse calm me down

21 replies

hurrydownthechimneytonight · 10/12/2009 09:43

Ok am 33+ 4 days pregnant and this morning had a knock on the door from ym housing officer serving me and hubbie notice!

Im in tears, she was very nice and understanding and we came to an agreement and she said they hardly ever proceed with the notice but it scares some people like it has me!

Anyway she has gone, leaving me in absolute tears i cant calm myself down! I went to the loo and my trousers are wet and i dont know if its sweat or what i didnt feel anything!

I have had a couple of braxton hicks since she left and have sat down with a drink trying to calm down. I have no one to call to come sit with me as everyone i know is ill or has ill children and i cant risk catching it so late in pregnancy.

I know when i think about it everything will be fine we will clear it within a month or so im even thinking of selling my Wii! The flat was a tip as it was early and i had not even washed up from last nights tea I felt so embarassed but I invited her in.

Please someone calm me down and help me I dont think it was my waters which made my trousers wet and im sorry for the tmi but as you prob can tell im incredibly stressed right now.

thanks (ps not new was Iateallthecreameggsyummy) namechanged for the season.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

lissielouskissingsantaclaus · 10/12/2009 09:50

ok, calm down and check the wet patch. does it smell?

BusyMissIzzy · 10/12/2009 09:51

I'm not surprised it's given you a fright, but try not to panic. What a mean thing to do to someone in your situation, and so near Christmas! At least she was nice to you, and as she and you yourself said it will most likely all get sorted out.
Is there someone (a friend or relative) you could at least call to speak to?

lissielouskissingsantaclaus · 10/12/2009 09:51

where is dh?

Original poster

hurrydownthechimneytonight · 10/12/2009 09:52

hubbie is at work he asked if he should come home but we clearly need him to stay at work for the money, he said he will call me in a bit. Im not leaking anything if that makes sense well i dont think so, just cant stop crying, baby is ok he has been moving around just now.

OP posts:

maybebaby23 · 10/12/2009 09:53

Oh no, sory to hear this is happening to you. How come they can do this just out of the blue? I thought if you rent from a housing trust it is pretty secure? I dont know anything about it really, we rent privately and this was my worry so we signed another 12 month contract. How come they can come and say that to you and then in the next breath say they hardly ever carry it out?

Sorry i hope someone comes along soon who knows what they are talking about!

Have something nice and sweet to drink to calm your nerves. Im sure everything will be ok, good luck x

Firsttimer7259 · 10/12/2009 09:55

Are you being given notice because of rent arrears? Or is it something more difficult to solve like building being sold?

If the former focus on figuring out how to pay rent. Or coming up with a proposal to landlord how you could get started on clearing debts. Perhaps citizens advice can help.

Original poster

hurrydownthechimneytonight · 10/12/2009 09:56

she said they had written to us, I told her the only letter I had from them was saying we had to replace 2 doors before we would be considered for a transfer and they wont consider us till baby is here. No mention at all about the arrears on the rent I even showed her my calender with all the dates of rent paid etc.

I think I am starting to calm down I cant call people because I dont want them all knowing how bad rent situation is.

OP posts:

Original poster

hurrydownthechimneytonight · 10/12/2009 09:59

Irony being we were planning on paying 2 months rent in one go in next fortnight. We have an agreement I put her on the phone to hubbie as he deals with the rent and she was very apologetic saying she had not come here to upset me and to alot of people its waters of a ducks back.

She was only doing her job so Im not annoyed with her. hormones are clearly not helping the situation.

thanks ladies for helping

OP posts:

purplehat · 10/12/2009 10:01

How much in arrears are you, and what notice period did she serve?

expatinscotland · 10/12/2009 10:01

a housing officer served you notice?

or a letting agent?

are you a private tenant or social-landlord tenant?

because if you're the latter, there's something going on here.

you don't just get 'served notice' if you're the tenant of a social landlord, there needs to be a reason - rent arrears, anti-social behaviour, etc.

Firsttimer7259 · 10/12/2009 10:03

Is this the council then? If so are you in arrears or not? Have you got proof of rent payments (and sorry but your calendar doesnt count - you need some sort of receipt or bank statement) ? If its an adminsitrative error you just need to get stuck inot sorting it out. Luckily eviction takes a while so its not like you will be out on your ear before you can clear up whats happening.

Most important: dont bury your head in the sand hoping it will all go away. If you cant pay your rent you need to go see an advice agency and get help in negotiating something you can pay or coming to some arrangement that keeps everyone happy at least for the short to medium term. If they have been writing to you you will have to explain why you arent getting their post.

No one wants to sling a young family out on the street but you do have to pay your rent or come up with somewhere else to live.

MrsMattie · 10/12/2009 10:05

I think your Dh needs to get down to the CAB pronot and find out what the score is. I hate to panic you at such an already stressful time, but I have a friend with three children who was forcibly evicted a couple of weeks after having a notice of eviction served for rent arrears. They were 'ever so nice' - but they still evicted her.

expatinscotland · 10/12/2009 10:06

you have an agreement in place already regarding the rent?

if so then they can definitely begin to evict if you have not fulfilled the terms.

if you are struggling to pay the rent were you advised to apply for housing benefit?

you can get partial benefit even if working.

BlackLetterDay · 10/12/2009 10:08

Please don't panic. This happened to us when I was pregnant with ds, there was a letter on the mat giving notice on a friday pm so we were panicking all weekend. We are council tenants and had arrears (not that much) but the arrears had been hanging around for a while. Phoned them first thing on Monday and they were very blase about it just said pay an extra £10 a week etc. I thought it was really serious, we were going to be evicted etc but like the lady said it's really just a scare tactic and as long as you make an agreement (that you can afford, don't be persuaded to offer more) and stick to it you will be fine.

Original poster

hurrydownthechimneytonight · 10/12/2009 10:09

Its rent arrears we knew we were in arrears but DH job has been playing him up lately with pay and only in the last few weeks has it all been sorted, most the staff got made redundant etc.

Normally they write to us and we clear it as a reminder but we dont have a standing order set up, which i think will need to be done in the future.

Its ok I know we wont be evicted she said so long as she can see normal rent plus £20 being paid every month for the next few months she will be happy! I assured her the arrears will all be cleared within 2 months at the most so it will be fine. I have no idea about notice period etc I am not going to open the letter, she explained it to me and the letter will likely scare me and im starting to calm down a bit. DH can open the letter when he gets home. She could see my dates I had paid rent was all correct to her records.

DH just texted to ask if he should come home and apologised profusely blaming himself for not prioritising the rent, which is right really as we had a blazing row about it a few nights ago. He said he is so sorry for putting me through this and I know he is. I told him to stay at work I will be fine im sure.

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 10/12/2009 10:11

Get a standing order in place.

If you are in receipt of ANY housing benefit, have it directly paid to the council/HA (you can do this if you are a council/HA tenant).

Original poster

hurrydownthechimneytonight · 10/12/2009 10:11

This was the first agreement we have made with them and we will def clear it, my family have already been told they wont be getting pressies this year, we have everything already for baby and I will sell my wii if I have to. She said obv if we get ourselves ahead or equal we dont need to pay the extra which is good, b ut we prob will to get ahead and dh is very upset about it all to because its his fault for not having paid it.

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 10/12/2009 10:13

yeah, it is his fault.

rent is the no. 1 priority.

if he forgets to pay it, it needs to be set up on a standing order.

Firsttimer7259 · 10/12/2009 10:16

Sorry this all sounds so strict but throwing yourself into sorting this out rather than letting the worry build up inside you is probably the best way to calm down.

Take a deep breath, find paper and pen. Check what you have and havent paid. If its all hunky dory figure out how to find proof and then call council with that and ask how best to show them they ahve made a mistake.

If not hunky dory, then go online, find nearest CAB and make urgent appointment or get some phone or online advice of how best to proceed.

If they are serving you notice in person you need to calm down and get on with it. And I hope wetness is just momentary bladder lapse.

Make a plan on paper of most efficient way of dealing with this and just work through that. And dont get distracted about not having done the washing up etc Sort out the rent - you can do this. All you need for today is the phone and an internet connection and you can make a plan.

Firsttimer7259 · 10/12/2009 10:19

This thread is moving too quickly for me. Looks like you are on the way to sorting it.

Original poster

hurrydownthechimneytonight · 10/12/2009 10:21

thankyou!

Once hubbie is home tonight we will be sitting down to talk about it. I get paid tommorrow and had worked out I would have £160ish to spend on the kids xmas pressies (neices nephews) and we only need £25 for that! Then I was going to put some on the electric and do a good food shop. Depending on how much money hubbie has left i might stick £50 ontop for the rent then we would have paid alot more. Just I wanted to keep some money back to buy baby a coming home outfit and a few extras for christmas, but the rent is clearly much more important! Baby has plenty of clothes and very nice ones to wear when he comes home!

OP posts:

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