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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Panic about pushing baby out! Any sage advice?

44 replies

pinkmama · 24/06/2005 10:41

Hi. 35 weeks with 3rd baby. I have large babies, and with rather unfortunate large heads (please let this one have my head and not dh's). Anyway, dd (1st baby) got her head stuck, was trying to come out ear first, ended up in emergency section. DS 1 managed to get out, after 2 hour first stage but 2 hours of pushing, and with the aid of ventouse (suppose he was technically my first vaginal birth). Hoping to have this one at home, mw supportive, all well so far. However I am obviously not that great at pushing! Everyone assures me that this time round, because I have done it once, it will be easier. I realise I will ahve to go to hospital if I get stuck, which I am prepared for, but would really, obviously, rather not! What, if anything, can I do to maximise my ability to push better?

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dinny · 24/06/2005 20:57

Pinkmama, didn't tear with either of my babies (6.7 and 9.3lb). Probably all been said here but I am sure being upright-ish helps, as did using a birthing ball (1st labour). Also did loads of pelvic floor exercises throughout both pg and am sure that helped.
good luck - stay upright and just imagine you're doing a massive poo

sasa15 · 24/06/2005 21:42

yes upright worked for me...a lot of breathing excercise...

I actually was standing up....scream a bit to relief the pain...just wanted all finished quickly and that encorage me to push!

Cam · 24/06/2005 22:04

My friend who has had 3 big babies claims "you have more to work with" when they're big

Personally I had 2 relatively small dd's (full term) of 6lb and 6lb 13oz - we just do have small babies in out family (but they grow into great big children v quickly).

I didn't push, I found my body changed in transition to different type of contractions (expelling). I just breathed hard and concentrated hard. Standing up for dd2.

pinkmama · 25/06/2005 13:40

Thanks to everyone who has replied! You are all stars!

So upright is the way to go, but just a bit confused about the pushing. Some people saying push for your life, whilst others saying just relax the muscles and let go, or do I need to try to relax the pelvic floor whilst pushing down from diaphragm?

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dinny · 25/06/2005 14:46

hard to answer, Pinkmama, as it's not exactly a conscious decision (well, not IME) I was completely overwhelmed by pushing contractions and just went with it and let go.
have you thought about going to an active birth class/some sort of birth preparation? I did with ds (2nd child) as had felt so out of control with dd - it really helped me prepare and remember to let go and how to breathe through 2nd stage.

gigglinggoblin · 25/06/2005 22:34

i relaxed through every contraction until midwife told me to push so only had to do it 2 or 3 times. try relaxing at first, but trust that your midwife will know when you need to give it a bit of welly!

mears · 25/06/2005 23:03

You will probably find that with it being your second vaginal baby you will need very little active pushing and baby will practically deliver itself. Just follow your insticts. It is more likely your midwife will encourage you not to push to let the baby's head deliver itself with the power of the contractions. I would say concentrate on learning techniques not to push such as blowing or panting. Your last baby has made the way so to speak. It is much better for women to push as nature directs them than say take a big breath, hold it, and try and get 3 pushes to each contraction. Some women prefer to do a series of little pushes as their body directs them. Much more effective.

fatmomma · 25/06/2005 23:48

A recent report ("Outcomes of planned home births with certified professional midwives: large prospective study in North America"
published on 18 June 2005, in the BMJ) has shown that homebirths not only reduce morbidity and illness in mother and baby but also reduce the likelyhood of intervention and caesarean section. So you have definately maximised your chances of a straightforward delivery.

I hope that is comforting, I have no personal gems to impart I'm afraid. My baby was tiny and out in 5 pushes .

Crack cocaine might be going a little far but if you go for another smoking and drinking will keep the weight down! My sister did both with both her boys [disgusted emoticon] and they were 5lbs.

pabla · 26/06/2005 07:45

Even after 3 babies I never really got the hang of pushing - with the last (9lb 11oz) I tried to push for quite a while with no progress, then the midwife told me to lie on my side and rest, I got a couple of massive contractions and it felt like my body just expelled him by itself!

mandyc66 · 26/06/2005 08:21

as my midwife at delivery said 'do as your body tells you' It really does seem to know what to do! If there were any problems then the midwife would intervene and tell you what to do.

gothicmama · 26/06/2005 08:23

listen to your body wpush when you feel that your body wants to

KiwiKate · 26/06/2005 08:31

Anyone used something called the Pink Kit? See www.commonknowledgetrust.com

With DS1 I got stuck on my back by mw, because baby needed "constant monitoring". I only realised afterwards that she did not do any monitoring! Pushing was very difficult on my back, but doctor who came in after I had been pushing for AGES suggested a very small change in the angle of my hips, and baby slid out easily!

For no2 due Sept, I decided to get all the info I could about birthing and positions etc. I wanted to know why such a small hip movement had made all the difference. And I wanted to be the one to decide on the best birthing position.

I found this Pink Kit, which is brilliant (am busy working through it myself at the mo). It is a collection of wisdom from thousands of women and their birth partners, on things that did or did not work for them in birthing. It is a book, video (or dvd) and audio tape (or cd). It talks of different birth positions and different techniques to try if your baby seems "stuck". It recognises that there are different shapes of pelvic openings, and some positions actually lessen the space available for baby to come through (depending on the woman's shape, and the baby's position). (Eg, squatting is great for certain pelvic shapes, but closes up the birth canal for others).

Basically it shows you some techniques you can try before you get into labour to test to see what positions give the most "space" for your particular pelvic shape. It also gives some exercises and advice about relaxing through contractions (and practical ways of doing it!). It recognises that every woman is different, as is every baby, but gives info on what has helped other women for generations.

In the book I found the hip movement that the doctor had suggested while I was in labour with DS1. If I had known this myself, I would have been able to do it sooner in the process before I was utterly exhausted.

I have heard of many people who struggled in earlier births (and some who were told their pelvis was too small for vaginal birth), who were able to give birth fairly easily after using this kit. It obviously does not guarantee anything, but contains valuable info that gives you a much better chance of avoiding intervention, feeling more in control and minimising pushing time. It also provides info on massage techniques for the perinium to help minimise chances of tearing or episiotomy (have not tried it yet, but figure anything is worth a try if it helps). Already the things I have learned have made me much more confident.

Good luck

mandyc66 · 26/06/2005 09:50

delivered 4 of mine on back. No desire to be any other way!!!! last 2 bigish babies, no stitches gas and air..just did what comes naturally. Helps to have a good midwife!

pinkmama · 27/06/2005 17:57

Thanks everyone! Hopefully by the end of July I will be posting to say how easy it all was . I think a good mw definately makes a big difference and I have been reassured by mums I kow who have home birthed around here, that the community team are fantastic. So fingers crossed!

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Sax · 27/06/2005 18:12

Good luck Pinkmama and all I can say is if you feel your mw is hassling you then follow what your body is telling you and shut out all the external advice (although any online Midwives may disagree with me) but my best MW out of three just told me to do whatever my body was telling me - with a little bit of advice and she was the one who made me feel the most relaxed and in control!!!!!!! All the best Pinkmama.

giraffeski · 27/06/2005 18:14

Message withdrawn

Sax · 27/06/2005 18:30

Oh and stay on your feet if at all possible - just think of me and my 11 pounder!!!!!!!

spacecadet · 27/06/2005 20:20

i had trouble pushing 3 of my baies out due to dd1 being in wrong position, ds1 having a big head, ds2, being huge and id had an epidural, nothing less than 2 hours pushing with each one, but with dd2, i hadquick labour and entered 2nd stage quickly, no pain relief, although not through choice! but mw just stood back, and i pushed when i felt the urge, 20 mins later she was born.

Tinker · 27/06/2005 20:27

Don't push too hard and too fast - got 2nd degree tear last time which, although fine now, probably could have been avoided if I'd slowed down. Just wanted it over with though, I'm afraid.

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