i REALLY need to talk to someone, 28 weeks and just been sacked

[jellybean86]

Hi all, bit of a long one but need to speak to someone.

Im nearly 28 weeks with my first. The last week i havent felt 'right'. Ive had a really tight chest (right side) and since yest been having pains. So went to the doctor today who found my blood pressure was high, and after asking about loads of symptons sent me to L&D to get checked out as i was also seeing lights when my eyes were closed, as well as feeling like im going to pass out and keep going hot and cold.
Obviously i was very worried as i only went to docs thinking i had a chest infection or something.

My doctor told me i shouldnt go to work as who knew what time i would be at the hosp till and what would happen. This was at 11.30 so i rang my boss as i was due in at 2. Im a nanny looking after 3 girls afterschool. I felt very bad about not being able to go in and i could tell she was pissy.

After having an ECG and all other checks the hospital think i pulled a muscle in my chest. They were not concerned about BP etc and i have no protein in my urine.

I spoke to my boss when i got back from the hosp once again apoliguising and saying i has symptoms of Pre eclampsia and that i would be in tomorow 8am-7pm, but would need to take it easy and rest as much as poss ( as advised) meaning i wouldnt be able to do all the cleaning wahsing ironing etc like i always do.

She basically said i cant keep letting her down and that it makes her look unprofesional blah blah she needs the money and said this wasnt working out. (she is a private tutor)

Only once before have i rang in saying i couldnt make it, wen a close family member died and i need to be with my family. And i always work extra wen she needs me.

So i texted her sayin i would come in tomoro as usual to talk in person.

I havent told my bf as he wil go MENTAL.

But i am panicing, my heart is racing and im othe verge of tears.

What do i do? Im due in Feb and me and my bf were planning to rent our own house soon before baby is here.

How on earth can we survive on his wage. He brings home £1100 a month, and is tied into car finance (£250) Which leaves £850 to rent iin Bath, run cars, bills etc.

Someone please reasure me. Its so unfair. My boss has made it like im always leaving her in the lurch.

further to what the others said, i stand by what i said your employment rights in general are more limited if you have been with a company for less than a year, but even with less than a years service she can't sack you for a pregnancy related reason.

as its a person not a company employing you i do not recommend going down legal route - try to calmly sort this out with your employer she probably said what she said on the spur of the moment without realising it was illegal. i am trying to go down legal route with past employer (nothing to do with pregnancy) as i was made redundant and they didn't follow the correct procedures. its an expensive process in terms of legal fees, i'm only pursuing it as there are 250 of us and someone else coordinating.

i would also like to say though as someone who employs a nanny that i would be a bit annoyed if a new nanny got pregnant that quickly after starting - when looking for a new nanny i'd always ask for at least a years commitment, and i'd be annoyed if they left before then as its disruptive on my children otherwise, and in respect of the maternity pay many people including me pay over half their salaries to their nannies so i had to pay the maternity pay at the same time as another nanny i'd be seriously out of pocket. this doesn't excuse her behaviour, i'm trying to explain why she might not be very happy about the situation.

You CANNOT discriminate an Employee just because they are pregnant or fall pregnant at any time under your employment agreement.

It's discrimination FULL STOP.

You legally cannot ask questions relating to such personal circumstances in interviews any more either.

If an Employer started to ask me questions relating to my personal circumstances now or future plans, I would be out of there in a shot.

Unfortunately, if you are going to use a Nanny or Childminder, then the fact is they may become ill at any given time, and if you have a written contract with this person, you must as an Employer abide by it.

In response to Joanne - I know all that and of course I know that you can't ask about personal circumstances in an interview, I was just saying that as an employer when the person who you are employing is caring for your children you want some sort of continuity or it is unsettling and disruptive for them. Yes of course you have to pay sick pay if they are ill but I am sure you are allowed to ask how many sick days they have taken in the last x years.

My kids have been lucky we have had the same nanny since DD(6) was a baby but lots of my friends have been through lots of nannies and its very disruptive on the children. Of course, nannies leave for all sorts of reasons and many do not want to commit to a year because they are away from home or they think a better opportunity might come up etc etc.

Also contrary to popular opinion you can make a pregnant employee redundant and you can sack them as long as the reason has nothing to do with the pregnancy.

All that said it still sounds as if the OP's employers behaved totally irrationally for one absense due to a hospital visit.

How did it go with your employer today? You can try calling Nanny Tax (www.nannytax.co.uk) for advice, they know everything with regard to nannys' rights.

Also MumNWLondon just wanted to point out that when you employ a nanny who gets pregnant you claim all their maternity pay back from the government plus 6% (in a lot of cases they pay it all to you in advance in a lump sum) so you wouldn't be out of pocket.

I'm hoping my employers will be understanding when I tell them in a few weeks. One of the downsides of being a nanny is that the lines between personal and professional become blurred. If I worked for a corporate company all my maternity rights would be automatically given no questions asked!

I didn't realise you could claim it upfront rom government, but yes have looked it up on HMRC website (it just says if necessary can claim its up front so not sure what that means they'll always agree to pay it upfront) otherwise employers recoup the SMP from your NIC contributions when you return to work but often a nanny doesn't come back after maternity leave so that option isn't open.

TBH would be more concerned as I said about impact of kids of lots of nanny changes. I agree its hard employing a nanny as lines between employer and employee very blurred.

I work for a company and I haven't told them yet - I am also apprehensive about telling them as its a small company and there is no one else there that can do my work and as i work part time it might be hard for them to find cover. The best place to work I think is a big company.....

Please let your bf deal with this for you, as you need to try and keep your bp down at the moment. You will be able to look in to this once your baby is safely here and any money she owes you will be back dated.

However hard it is you must rest for the sake of you and your baby.

a pain in your right side can be a sign of a complication of PE called HELLp syndrome. Has your doctor considered this?

Hi everyone

SO i went into work yesturday, being ignored and she left a blood pressure moniter out for me, obviously wanting me to prove my BP was up. ( i didnt do it) Which made me very cross!

When she returned later she was still ignoring me, so i asked to speak to her in private.

I basically said i was sorry i couldnt make it in, and i would of if i could etc etc. And that i have to put me and baby first, and that she needs to remember i alway help her out last minute whenever. She responded saying that she needs someone who is 100% realiable and will not let her down as it makes her look unprofessional and that she has lost alot of money. To which i said to her that if she has children, and someone to care for them, like a nanny/childmnder, she needs to take into account there is always a chance they will not be able to make it in due to illness etc. For goodness sake i mean her child was ill yesturday so was at home, so if i hadnt of been there she wouldnt of been able to go to work anyway!
I said that if she want 100% garentee she would have childcare, she ouwl have to look after them herself! lol

I told her i didnt appreciate being made to feel so guilty when it was out of my hands and that i had been up ALL NIGHT panicing and crying i was going to be sacked. She said i wasnt being sacked, and i said good, cos if you did she would be discriminating under the sex act. (id already gotten advice)

She went on about she doesnt have a back up plan when i comes to childcare, (not my problem) yet she has a lovely friend who will always have them last minute and the kids love going their and playing with her children.

When she was going on about how much money she lost i said that i was out of pocket too (i dont get sick pay) and she kept going on so i said to her that if money was needed so badly she would of taken her kids to her friends and have them miss swimming lessons (hardly a big issue if work is soooo important). She said that she couldnt do that as she had to consult the kids ( their 5, 8, 10). so i said to her, that she is the mother and she is in charge. She didnt like this and walked out!

I also think she was bitter as the kids kept going on about how they miss me and where was i, all day apparently, and that they didnt like their mums cooking and wanted me to cook them dinner! Lol

Im glad i stood my ground as im quite shy when it comes to things like this. I couldnt of done it without all ur support guys so thankyou :-)

Anyways my chest is still really bad. It go worse last night so we had the doctor out who said no way had i pulled something, but she thinks it a bad case of pluracy! but cos of the baby i cant take nothing :-(

For goodness sake - when you are a working mother there is always the chance that your childcare arrangements let you down at the last minute. Thats just the way it goes. Nothing is 100% reliable.

My nanny now only works after school so if my kids are ill during the day its my problem if my MIL can't help. It would be prohibitive for me to pay my nanny all day to do nothing just incase one of them got sick!

If you DC is in a nursery or school they can get ill and get sent home, if you have a nanny then the nanny can be ill.

My nanny called in on the first day of the autumn halfterm to say she was ill so I had to take the day off at the last minute as my MIL couldn't manage. Its just of those things. Certainly no point in being cross with the nanny.

As for leaving out the BP monitor to prove it - well that proves she is mad.

As for the swimming lessons, again need to decide whats more important - my DS missed 2 weeks of swimming lessons when my nanny took a holiday during term time and my MIL looked after him - it would have been too much for her and I just took him swimming at the weekend myself to make it up to him (and to practise etc), which more than compensated. It was no big deal.

Legally you more than likely have an employment tribunal case against your employer... how long have you been working for her? If less than a year its a little trickier, but as far as employment lawyers are concern (and the law!) pregnant woman are a protected species... try calling your local Citizen's Advice (google them) or many law firms will give you a free half hour consultation regarding this sort of thing. Its probably also worth posting in the legal section on MN as i know there are a few legal execs and solicitors who pop in there from time to time.

Good luck and hope this helps