transistion from 1 to 2 children...

[itshappenedagain]

how hard is it really? posted in parenting see here
would be glad of any opinions as most of my friends only have the 1 or twins!

I would say that it is much harder work - the workload seems to more than double. However, you never get that first baby lifeshock again. You can't lie about in your PJs all day with your hair unbrushed: you have much more structure thanks to your first child. Emotionally, its not such a shock.

And the third one, well that one just has to fit right in. And so on...!

This is only my experience of course.

bump

Much easier 2nd time for me. First time had colicky velcro baby, breast feedng problems and PND. Second baby fed well from the start and everything else fell into place.

I agree with post above that it is much harder work, but the shock of it all is less.

You just seem to get on with it.

With a 3 1/2 year age gap you might have nursery to get out for (just guessing here) which can make for a bit of stress at the start of the day (I only manage to get DCs 1 and 2 to school on time by showering at night and preparing all lunches, bags etc before bed) but on the plus side you get a bit of time at home with the baby and the journey will usually calm them down if they're crying etc.

And you will know what you're doing with the baby - IME of DS2 and DS3 the baby is the easy bit after you've had one, it's dealing with the older one(s) that is more of a challenge.

I found it much easier. About 1.5 amount the work of having one, maybe less than that.

Saying that what I find difficult about being a mum wasn't really doubled with two. I already had that shock, already wasnt going out, already wasnt sleeping etc etc. Didnt really notice much difference to be honest.

Saying that DD was a much more placid baby than DS ever was - he was very difficult shall we say and I really struggled with being a first time mum.

DD just kind of slotted in - if anything I felt guilty for ignoring her!

I found a few things about it harder, but mostly it was much easier than going from none to one (for me).

Things that were hard at first:

Going out with a walking toddler and a buggy. I did it as little as possible, though. used a sling for the first few months and did my food shopping online - little shortcuts like that.

Jealousy from my older child. He would 'play up' the minute I sat down to breastfeed or picked the baby up to comfort her. This has been a biggie, actually, and is only really calming down a year on.

Not having the endless time you have after your first baby to mooch around breastfeeding and snoozing when your baby does. Forget about it!

However, I found going from no children to one so extremely tough, that nothing could be quite as hard as that again. I just felt much better prepared second time around and a lot more relaxed. I didn't know I'd feel more relaxed (wasnt feeling especially chilled out while pregnant) but as soon as my second was born I realised I just felt much calmer and more in control. I didn't freak out about stuff.

Anyway, that was my little waffle about how it was for me.

Good luck. You'll be fine.xx