Panic attacks and pregnant.....help me please

[happyatlast]

For the last three days I have had a panic attack as soon as it goes dark and I am alone with my 2 kids I have had a panic attack.

Brief history of my life to help you help me hopefully......I have a 10yr old and a 5 yr old and I am 28wks pregnant. I have been a single mum pretty much the whole time I've been a mum. Again I am single at the moment, currently trying to sort things out with my current babys dad but being very independant makes it difficult for me to let anyone in when it comes to relationships and I think I always call time on them way too quickly at the first sign of trouble.

So anyway, I work part time, just finished for maternity leave last week, am seriously in debt although yesterday I received a cheque for £12000 from my nana who died in feb this year, so thats going to allieviate the financial pressure I'm under somewhat there. I am currently involved in a sexual harrassment case against my 5yr olds dad for yrs of him trying it on with me, physically dragging me upstairs to attempt to have sex with me, so finally after he hit me in August I thought enough is enough and I called the police on him, and am currently having him done for sexual harassment.

So theres a brief outline of my life, albeit very brief but I have always coped, am a really strong person, always have been, incredibly independant but now all of a sudden, 3 nights in a row, as soon as it goes dark, the door is shut and I am alone with my 2 kids I have a panic attack.

Absolutely dreading tonight, went the emergency drs last night, obviously theres nothing they can give me but I didnt want to go home, I wanted to sign myself into the mental health part of the hospital voluntarily but my mum made me come home.

Has anyone else been through anything remotely similar, how did you get over the panic attacks? Any help greatly appreciated.

I'm so sorry your having to go all through this at the moment , it sounds as if you have loads of different issues going on at once which doesnt help with being pregnant and its maybe your hormones making you have the panic attacks or hitting you more than anything . Is there someone you can stay with until you feel you can stay on your own again ? I went through depression with my last pregnancy and i know its hard cos doctors cant give you anything , ask at your hospital if they do a midwife clinic were you can go talk to them , it helped me . Wish i could give you a better answer , hope someone does and all the best of luck x

I second longeagegap's advice but you are wrong when you say Doctor's can't give you anything for depression or anxiety. Ante-natal depression is a well recognised condition and it can be treated during pregnancy with anti-depressants. Happyatlast - make an appointment with your GP - you don't have to suffer and there is help available X

Happyatlast - when you are feeling calm and level, read through your post and you will see you already know the reasons that you are feeling the way you do - from the sounds of it you are doing bloody marvellously imho....

Unfortunately I have antenatal depression (am 25 weeks) and have absolutely been through the wringer with it. It is perfectly safe to take anti d's in pregnancy (especially after 12 weeks as they DO NOT harm the baby) if you feel that you need it. I would avoid going into a psychiatric hospital if you can because you feel so vulnerable being pregnant with people who are 'visibly' much worse than you on the same ward.

I have taken fluoxetine (Prozac) but had to come off it - long story. Apparently this is fine but the baby may be a bit jittery as it might (and emphasise might) have a withdrawal. Currently I am on mirtazipine which also helps you to sleep - may be worth mentioning to your GP as it would help with the anxiety, which is after all the flip side of depression.

You do need to speak to someone before you go postal and if your gp is not being too helpful get yourself referred to a consultant who specialises in mother and baby mental health/post natal depression.

If you find yourself having a panic attack I suppose all you can do is try to deflect it. Turn the lights on, call a friend, breathe deeply and all that twaddle actually does work.... Or come on mumsnet for a chat.

Also try www.apni.org (association for postnatal illness) or www.mind.org.uk

There doesn't seem to be much info for people with antenatal as opposed to postnatal but hang in there and get some help wherever you can (even if its someone coming to sleep on your sofa for a few nights so you don't feel so isolated). Hopefully, if you can get some resolution on all the things you mentioned or even just talk over your fears with someone, you will feel a lot better and be able to manage the hormone overload which is making everything worse, you might find you don't even need the meds...

Best of luck to you, honey, you deserve to be happy x

Hi there - you poor thing - it seems like you have an awful lot of things that are making life difficult for you - I really feel for you.

I have suffered (still do!) from panic attacks, depression and anxiety... and they are all dreadful in their different ways.

However, I am sure there is a correlation with being so seemingly 'strong' but then really struggling underneath.

I have been hugely, hugely helped by therapy. I have also taken anti-depressants for periods (and they are life changing when they work)... but for my behaviours that were ultimately causing the panic attacks etc., therapy has made a huge difference.

Do you think you would be open to speaking with your GP about getting some therapy? It can take a while to find the right person too so if you did go down this path don't give up if things don't 'click' with the first therapist you meet.

By the way, you can take anti-depressants when you are pregnant. Good GP's and psychiatrists weigh up the risks for the individual, some drugs are safer than others.

Thanks everyone. I asked the drs last night if I could admit myself into hospital, that I didnt want to go home, wanted to voluntarily admit myself into the mental hospital for want of a better phrase. They wouldnt listen and sent me home with a leaflet on panic attacks.

Oh, Happy, you poor thing. I suffered from PAs for years and they started when I went through a relationship breakdown after DS was born and I had far too many experiences with unhelpful doctors. I ended up feeling just like a hysterical woman rather than someone who really needed to talk things through. If my doctor had referred me for counselling all those years ago, I would have recovered very quickly.

I really know the fear that comes with them. One thing to remember is THEY CANNOT HURT YOU - they are the body's natural reaction to an increase in adrenaline and once the adrenaline has been used up (which takes about 20 minutes) the symptoms will pass without you having to do anything at all. It's the body's natural way of returning to a good level.

There's loads of stuff on youtube about PAs. Have a look at Yongey Minghur Rinpoche - he's a great Buddhist monk who suffered from PAs when he was growing up. Dave Carbonell's a really good doctor from the US who also has some VERY helpful advice.

You can recover from PAs and I agree with previous posters that medication can also help. x

Having experienced panic and anxiety for many years, and also having seen a therapist for six years I can fully understand what you are going through.

From your description you're experiencing anticipatory anxiety prior to your panic attacks. You have experienced attacks for 3 days and now you're fully expecting to have another one tonight at the same time. It is almost becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy IYSWIM, you tell yourself it's going to happen again, so it does.

You are frightened of having a panic attack, and I know why, they are bloody horrible.

Here are some words of wisdom my therapist gave to me (and the questions that I asked him):

How do I overcome a panic attack?

Passive acceptance. i.e. don't directly fight it, relax if you can and let it happen, wait for it to pass. Imagine it like a wave that will wash over you and then you will automatically calm down. Remember that they're time limited and that they will still pass even if you don't do anything.

What should I keep in mind when I'm feeling anxious?

Anxiety is unpleasant but not harmful. Being anxious won't damage you, so try not to be frightened of the anxiety, it will pass.

You are not necessarily going to panic tonight or tomorrow. Remember if you keep telling yourself it's going to happen, there is more chance of it happening.

You will be fine, they will not keep happening unless you hold on to the fear. Stay strong. Let them go.