how much weight to gain?

[greataunt]

I was horrified to see NHS guidelines suggest adding 22-28 lbs of weight during pregnancy. A full term baby is about 8lbs, a placenta maybe 3lbs, some fluid and lost blood, maybe another 3 lbs, swollen breasts maybe 1 lb and .. that's it! I was told that 18lbs is the maximum you can gain without stretch marks. I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight within a week of giving birth and 35 years later still have no stretch marks. This isnt to boast, just to say that midwives seem to be fatter than they were in my day and are more likely to stretch the guidelines somewhat. All my contemporaries produced healthy babies and have still kept their figures today. We didnt diet during pregnancy, just ate enough to maintain our own weight and supply enough for the baby and its back-up systems. Once the baby is born, you need an extra 600 calories a day to replace breast milk, but if its a bottle fed baby, then go back to 1500-2000 calories a day. I cant understand why women seem to get pregnant in their arms and thighs these days- they wont get expelled along with the baby! Please question and maybereappraise these guidelines.

OP your tone is rather unpleasant but I will engage with this as it is a topic of some interest.

I weighed myself before and after giving birth and DD was 8lb 13 oz yet I lost 2 stone (28 lbs) in 2 weeks following the birth, I am sure that was only pregnancy weight gain. Yes, I am overweight but I was back to pre-pregnancy weight after losing those 2 st so I am convinced that was all pregnancy-related.

My boobs are still larger than normal but I am not allowing myself any extra weight points for that!

I also do not have stretch marks after this, my 2nd pregnancy, but I understood that tendency to mark or not is on the whole genetic and not necessarily related to how much weight is gained or lost.

My midwives were slim, by the way. Really, the style of your post is quite unnecessary.

I too think the tone of the OP is unnecessary and a bit offenive really. You were "horrified"? Why? What difference does it make to you if another pregnant lady gains 18lb or 40lb? Surely you are smart enough to realise that every woman is different, and has a different experience of pregnancy, and that is fine. Some women are so ill they cannot eat much at all and start by losing weight, some need to eat to keep nausea at bay, some are just hungry, some gain large amounts no matter what they eat. As for stretch marks - how wonderful for you that you didn't get them. I don't have them either (despite gaining a "horrifying" amount of weight) but my sister, who was a tiny pregnant person and gained about 22lb during both her pregnancies, DID get them, I think that has a lot to do with skin type.
Why does this matter? As long as we stay healthy and the babies are healthy. There is enough pressure on women to spring back into shape, to keep working and looking good despite all the changes that are exhausting and mystifying that come with pregnancy and motherhood, without adding to it.

Mind you, 35 years ago, plenty of expectant mothers were smoking and drinking throughout pregnancy so that would reduce average weight gain!

I agree that the tone of your post is rather unnecessary, so perhaps I'll be a little more forthright than I might otherwise be in correcting your misconceptions;

Firstly, the basic maths involve far more components than just baby, placenta, blood and breasts.

maternal stores of nutrients and muscle development 7.0 lbs
Increased body fluid 4.0 lbs
Increased blood 3.0 - 4.0 lbs
Breast growth 1.0 - 2.0 lbs
Enlarged uterus 2.0 lbs
Amniotic fluid 2.0 lbs
Placenta 1.5 lbs
Baby 6.0 - 8.0 lbs
Total 26.5 - 30.5 lbs

Secondly, You were told that 18lb is the maximum you can gain without stretchmarks? You were told wrong, I'm afraid. I can personally attest to gaining 4.5 stones (the horror) with my first pregnancy without a single stretchmark to show for it.

Do you understand that a pregnant woman's metabolism can change fundamentally from its non-pregnant state? The same number of daily calories intake can still result in weight gain because the body is deliberately conserving fat stores to ensure healthy continuation of pregnancy and the successful establishment and continuation of breastfeeding.

Haven't you ever questioned that our bodies have been designed to alter in a way that best ensures the survival of our babies?

Oh, and for the record, my face (and thighs and arms) quite obviously reveal my pregnancy. I change from being rather sculpted and 'cheekbony' to much more round faced. This effect disappeared last time within a couple of weeks of the birth, and I'm certainly hoping it will this time too.

So, please do "question and maybe reappraise" your understanding and even, dare I say it, attitude?

Oh verylittlecarrot thanks for those figures, that is interesting and something I had wanted to know .

No problem!

I sometimes struggle with the fact that I appear to gain a surprising amount of weight during pregnancy, and despite knowing that my body is doing exactly what it should, I still dislike being "pregnant in my arms and thighs" as the OP put it - which is irrational and silly, but there you have it.

I'm normally quite a slim person, so my body surprises me in responding to pregnancy this way.

Strangely enough, as I mentioned, I gained over 4 stones last pregnancy, but from my skinniest ever (actually an underweight BMI) pre-pregnancy weight (having just got married).

This time, I started the pregnancy significantly heavier, although still with a very normal BMI. And I predict I will complete the pregnancy at exactly the same weight as I finished the first one. My body seems to have a target weight that it wants me to attain at birth, regardless of where I start!

I also think it makes a difference how active you were before pregnancy - I was an avid exerciser, and then when I had morning sickness and tiredness it was all I could do to drag myself to work and back; in the second trimester I was a bit better, but again, now I am in third trimester and jsut find it difficult to do anything but walk and swim (slowly) and even then I am exhausted after half an hour. So that's another thing that messes with your metabolism.
Not that it MATTERS, not that it should need to be justified!!

Greataunt - there are far more important inssue for you to be horrified over than another woman's pregnancy weight. I certainly hope you aren't imparting these views on your daughter (if you have one)-- they aren't healthy and it sounds as though you may have some food issues of your own.

The goal in pregnancy is to be healthy and not to be counting calories and obsessing about weight. Some women will gain more, some less and some not at all. In recent years doctors have been moving away from weighing women because pregnancy weight gain isn't an exact science. The guidelines you mentioned are just that, guidelines

Stretchmarks are also largely genetic so thank your mother for the fact that you didn't get any.

I don't quite know why the OP is on here let alone why they started this thread - frankly it is unhelpful and upsetting to those of us who have gained more than the recommended weight when pregnant DESPITE in my case eating a healthy diet and working very long hours in a very active job.

Every pregnancy and every woman's body is different - good for you that you got your figure back within a week, but that is certainly not the case for everyone.

Your information on stretchmarks is out of date too - current research suggests that they are in the main genetic

Just for the record, my mother, who had her children in the early 70's, had almost the exact same weight gain as me in her pregnancies: about 3.5 stone. She also had no stretchmarks and lost all the weight quite quickly and has a beautiful figure to this day.

Oh, and all my midwifes have been slim too!

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Oh I have to join this!!!

Out of curiousity I read this thread. Mainly because I am 16+2 weeks pregnant and am losing weight. This is not an issue and in fact my MW was pleased about it - my pre-pg BMI was 46! I have insulin resistance, and consequently some food issues, although these are diminishing.

I was dismayed about the OP, it doesn't seem very understanding at all, and IMO implies that women should be a size 0! I am not saying that women should be as large as me, the health risks are large. Women should only be concerned about being sensible about what they eat, especially when they are pg!

The only concern surely should be about the health of mother and baby. IMO that is the same after pg. Not whether the mum has lost all her pg weight!

I find the pressure in society to be the same size as celebrities huge! Please understand that I am NOT saying that it is ok to be as large as I am, but that people shouldn't buy into the media hype that exists. I used to feel guilty about eating in public for fear of people judging me and the looks I used to receive from people. However my DH helped me realise that what other people think is not my concern but theirs. They can't possibly know the ins and outs of my situation.

I could go on and on, I have to be careful I don't take up residence on this soap box!

On the flip side some people put on less than the 'recommended' weight and still go on to have perfectly healthy babies. Guidelines are an estimate - they dont fit everyone.

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Hmm, this is the second time that I have encountered a pregnancy thread started by someone who seems to want to have a go at pregnant women. Does someone have too much time on their hands perhaps?

Things have changed in 35 years. As someone rightly pointed out, smoking in pregnancy was considered fine then which must have affected mother's weight and baby's. OP, you shouldn't be horrified at how medical advice can change over such a long period. Also, I am amused by the implication that horridly obese midwives are conspiring to skew guidelines just to make themselves feel better. Evil fat midwives!

Stretch marks are genetic. I am one of those women who has gained "horrific" amounts of weight (partly I think because being on crutches thanks to SPD has severely limited my mobility) despite eating a reasonably healthy diet. Despite my excessive lardiness, every midwife I have seen has commented on my neat bump and my lack of stretch marks. My legs are another matter, however

The pressure on all women to look a certain way is intense. The fact that this pressure is now passed on to pregnant women too is worrying. I am tired of reading about sticky celebrities who power walked their way to the gym and left the hospital post-birth in their size 0 jeans. Good for them, but they are not role models. Verlittlecarrot rightly points out that everything about a pregnant woman is more rounded. Can we not learn to appreciate the beauty in that. I am not a lentil-knitting hippy type by any means, but maybe we should appreciate the pregnant body a bit more. What's wrong with soft curves?

Unless the OP has some medical background, or is privy to some research to which I am not, I'm afraid that I will not reappraise current guidelines in the light of those of 35 years ago. Times change, science changes, attitudes change. Deal with it.

Grr, sorry, didn't realise how angry that post had made me.

Ha, I was so annoyed by this post, I didn't realise when the thread was started. I am probably the only one feeling annoyed now!

You go, Cakemuncher! (typed while happily munching on cake, funnily enough....!)

well, I've not gained 18 lbs yet and have some stretch marks appearing on my breasts so that's bollox for a start

FWIW i have put on just over 2 stone which by guidelines is absolutely fine, but I got shocked looks and gasps by my (size 0) work colleagues when I told them how much I'd put on. Grrr the media!

OP, was there a reason you posted on here? Are you looking for advice for someone currently pregnant? As much as I am sure we all welcome a cross-section of people and their views, yours are a bit harsh IMO. Advice on weight has change massively in 35 years, as has the advice on lots of things as well as actual practices ie water births becoming popular etc.
I was slim to begin, but have no idea how much weight I have put on as I don't really care! I have been eating pretty well, apart from the weeks where MS meant I was on a limited diet (toast, spaghetti hoops and potato waffles and that was about all I could face), but am now relishing being able to eat whatever I like and not have to hold my tummy in. Am 32w and no stretch marks yet, but there's still time and again, not all that worried about it.
I certainly don't think pregnancy is the right time to start fretting about your weight- as long as you and baby are healthy that's the most important thing surely. Crikey- there's plenty of other stuff to worry about

Oooh, sounds like a troll! Go away.

And what a load of balooney to come out with!

OP I think you are being unnecessarily confrontational and quite clearly are simply posting an inflammatory statement to provoke a reaction. This is both juvenile and pointless. However in answer to your post I will ask you a question. I am an insulin dependent diabetic and due to my condition and the insulin resistance that pregnancy causes my insulin needs will potentionally triple and given that insulin is a growth hormone it is highly likely that I will gain a lot of weight. Where does this fit into your 'perfect' weight gain guidelines? I would rather make sure my insulin levels are right and have a fit and healthy baby than worry about whether my arms get a bit fatter!!!