Anyone else really not keen on their midwife?

[SilkyBreeks]

Not been massively impressed with the midwife so far (she has stuffed up every single appointment, didn't send a referral off for my dating scan, etc) but had my third appointment with her this morning and honestly don't want to see her again.
I know that midwives are massively busy etc but I do expect a bit more than someone saying "any questions? no? good" while she's got her back to me - especially when I've been kept waiting for over an hour because of her mistake, ie not bothering to book me into the clinic and giving my appt to someone else!
I'm booked in for a foetal echo soon and would have liked to discuss it, but as she was obviously so desperate to get me out of the room I didn't ask. I am a nurse myself and yes I should be more assertive but I'm very shy and she as the professional in the situation should be at least looking at me during the consultation!
I don't know what to do now I could ask to switch to the other community team, but what if she turns up to deliver my baby? Anyone been in a similar situation? My partner says I should go discuss it with the GP but I've not been with the practice long and frankly don't have the balls

I hated one of the midwives attached to my GPs surgery - I got round it by booking with the midwife led birthing unit who did all your antenatal checks there.

You can contact the Supervisor of Midwives and say that you'd like to be cared for by someone else, and can refuse to have this midwife when in labour

The only thing is that I want a home birth, so I can't really do that. She's not HORRIBLE, she just doesn't care

Just tell the SoM that you don't want to see this mw then - others on here have done so. Last thing you want is someone who doesn't care about you when you are in labour

I refused to see one of the MWs in the team because she was awful.

Please please put yourself first here. Even if she turned up at your house when you are in labour you have every right to send her away.

I was given the option of seeing a MW at my GP's surgery or at the ante-natal clinic at the hosp. I'm glad I chose the GP option as the clinic is always mad busy when i've been there for scans etc and i'm lucky to have a nice MW at my docs.

There must be other options for where you get your ante-natal care.

Remember that this is about your choice. Don't feel intimidated by her. Do you know for definate she is involved in home-births? I know the one I see isn't, she is on a different team so doesn't deal with them.

Even if she isn't awful, she doesn't sound great if you feel like she doesn't care.

Thanks for the replies, I haven't really got anyone to talk to about this and was winding myself up a bit!
I have calmed down a bit now since I originally posted...I think she would actually be okay if she came to deliver, as I say she's not HORRIBLE and she is experienced so I would trust her clinical judgement, and I expect she'd probably be fine as she'd only have me to deal with and no time pressures. I think she's a bit jaded and burnt out maybe and that affects her ability to look like she gives a shit in clinic. I live in quite a deprived area as well and think she sort of assumes I don't need much help whereas a lot of the women she sees will have really complex needs. I'm not making excuses for her cos she is taking the piss somewhat with the crap service she's giving me, but I don't hate her and having had quite a lot to do with midwives at work she's certainly in the "nice" camp.

Do you think the surgery would let me swap to the other team for antenatal? It is actually on a miles more convenient day for me.

As far as I'm aware we're supposed to be given choices now in how are care is administered so yes, I certainly think you should ask to be moved - especially if it is more convenient for you.

Oooh, one of the women at my yoga class is having a baby on Weds, and she has arranged a secret code word with her DH, so that if she even sees this one mw that treated her badly and who she hates does not want caring for her, she can say the codeword and the DH will chuck the mw out.

Terribly expressed. Sorry. But good idea?

I didn't like my MW with dc2, but kept her as i didnt have to see her much.

She turned up to deliver dc3 at home. I was dreading it, but she was absolutely fantastic and made our birth very special.

They do know what they're doign the majority of the time, though you can request another if you really want to.

Thanks all

Scorps, that's exactly what I reckon this one would be like.

I feel loads better now. Still a bit worried that I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing with the birth plan or even how the birth might be managed, but going to ask to swap to the other day and take assertive partner with me to next appointment! All I care about really is the baby being okay, I think the prospect of the echo thing is stressing me out more than I care to admit. Fingers crossed.