For those of you who are expecting your second, what, if anything are you vowing to do differently this time round?

[RubiMama]

I am curious, because sometimes I think OMG there's no way I'm getting into all this BF so excessively on demand for up to a year, and co-sleeping etc again. It took us nearly 18 months to get DS to fall asleep in his cot and it only lasted the summer, until which time he was clmbing out of it every time we put him to bed, so we've abandoned it completely and now he sleeps on a matress on the floor. So it's sitting there in his room and I'm thinking, oh well, maybe we'll have better luck next time, or maybe we should get an Amby for DC2 or maybe I should just realise that the next LO is gonna spend a year or more in my bed on the boob all night and just accept thats the kind of mum I turned out to be and enjoy it?!
So please dish, are you tempted to make (not quite so) New Mum's Resolutions the second time around?

I did it all completely different the second time round. With my first I used to rock him to sleep in my arms etc but have only done it a handful of times with the second.

I think it depends on what you want really. The only things I wanted to do differently and have were the sleeping and the feeding (I'm talking weaning stage. ds1 was puree spoon fed and ds2 BLW). I did these things differently because I believed that it was why ds1 is a fussy eater and had a long phase of refusing to go to bed.
Ds2 is now 9mo and is yet to refuse any food (although he won't let anyone feed him) and he normally settles really well to sleep

I vow to generally be more relaxed about everything with DC2. I obsessed about feeding, sleeping, eating, clothes, crawling, walking, etc etc.

I now realise that me obsessing had absolutely no positive impact on any of these things, and perhaps if I had been a bit more relaxed, everything would have been just the same (maybe even better) with the added bonus of me being happier and less stressed!

Of course, it remains to be seen if I can keep this promise to myself. I am practicing on DD in preparation, but sometimes I crack!

I followed baby whisperer the first time round and hope to do the same with this DC. Really helped me.

The only thing i plan to do differently is make an effort to meet more new mums. First time round I stayed in a bubble (bar some occasional outings), this time plan to at least try some coffee mornings etc..I find them all sooo daunting.

I felt the same after ds1. Had no specific plans with ds2, sort of hoped it would be easier the second time round. It was amazing how different he was even though I approached him the same initially that is breastfeeding on demand, in bed at night etc. He was just different. Never stayed on the breast after he was done, preferred his own space as would kick and move about if anyone near him. He weaned himself as if by magic one day just after he turned 12months leaving me a bit sad really. So now I'm pregnant with dc3 will again just take it as it comes. I could never have imagined how different 2 babies could be!

Thanks for your replies, being more relaxed is also one of my resolutions MightyToosh, it's just that I seem to oscillate between that, and the temptation fantasy to be more strict about feeding, rocking and cosleeping. Who am I kidding?

i was very relaxed last time and just went with things as they happened...no books etc.
this time i will try to get baby into some sort of routine as i wont be able to spend all day in my pjs be so laid back as i have another to consider...will continue to breastfeed until baby and i decide to stop not be hastled into it at 35 months by family or anyone else who had an opinion on the bloody subject!!!
i think this time i have a more realistic view of what it will all be like not geta reality shock when this one arrives, although maybe i have just blanked out all the bad bits!

Am going to buy a Natures Nest.
Will definitely (or at least hope to be ) more relaxed about sleeping.
Will not worry "is my baby putting on weight"

RubiMama - same here. I want to be more relaxed, but also have moments when I think "I will run my house like a finely-tuned machine - that way the 2 DCs will never get the better of me!"

I suppose I'm looking for a balance: house needs to be in total order, routines for both DCs for bedtime and meal times, but everything will be fairly breezy and go with the flow.

Yeah, right, who am I kidding?

Everything else, I should say.

And now I'm wondering where the poor dog fits into all this

Also considered a nature's nest, having had a shocking sleeper who kept ending up in bed with us as she'd want to feed all the time and then we'd both nod off.....(sound familiar, OP?!) but went for a cosatto bedside cot in the end - and am hoping that works so I don't wake up most mornings paranoid that I'm smothered the baby.

The baby WILL go into a sling - unlike DD!

Will try and BF to a year - went up to 9 months last time but just found formula a real faff and a major point of contention because DH never once steralised a bottle - and for some reason, that really irritated me. This presumes, of course, that DC2 doesn't get lots of early teeth which I seem to recall is why we stopped at 9 months....

And, obviously, I'm going to be serene and unstressed from day one

Nothing, I was perfect first time round

Seriously though, I'm going to try to chill out a bit this time - god I even bored myself with all the talk about DS only eating salt-free homecooked food, not watching tv etc etc. I don't even care that I'm not the mum I set out to be! We're all happy, DS is healthy so that's the aim with the next one.

Z x

This time I will follow mil's advice and sleep when the baby sleeps .

Interesting thread.

I am TTC baby number 3 and agree with the post about the two DC being so different.

The first time I was very stressed with family interference and went back to work far too early, gave up breast feeding far too early and generally felt bad and unmotivated.

Second time, I was relaxed and just went with the flow and people left me alone a lot more.

This time, we have agreed that I will not return to work so my mission is to be organised and get out and about and make friends, since having children my friends seem to have dwindled dramatically.

I want to BF for at least 3 months, and that may seem paltry but I was so down with DS1 I managed 2 weeks and DS2 lost so much weight they wanted to take him into hospital before I could get the support I needed, so this time I am getting the support and 3 months is my first target but would like to carry on for as long as baby and I feel to.

Most importantly I want to be a mother and do a good job whilst at the same time looking after myself (like having a shower and brushing my hair ) and looking after the house.

The idea that the second will proably be so different is what makes me wonder whether it's worth getting the Nature's nest, I'm sure in hindsight it would have worked a dream for DS but could be an expensive and unecessary mistake for the next one. Although DH has just informed me he used to be really stressed at night about me smothering DS with the duvet when he was tiny and he was worried about him suffocating under there , maybe the Nest would be a good idea ater all. We have a cotbed that can be pushed against our bed, but what I found last time is that he only technicaly slept in the bed when he BF from the boob that was on that side, when I rolled over to the other one he just ended up sleeping betwen us again.
Sorry that was a bit of a diversion...
I ditto the sling thing btw, didn't make the most of it in the early days last time as I was too excited about the new buggy, this time look forward to stepping out sans pushchair with LO in sling and DS ambling beside me occassionally.
Good luck TTC and getting support with BF Mixedmama

I will def be doing weaning differenly. My 2 year old DD is very fussy and I know is because I was always so nervous that she wouldn't eat that I always gave her what I knew she liked and didn't experiment enough. Am kicking myself now as I watch other kids tucking in to normal grownup food in restaurants and I am asking for mashed potato and baked beans to be heated up!! Next time the baby will eat everythng really on. Going to be much braver!!

Weaning. We didn't really do finger foods as Tom was a late teether and we didn't think he'd manage them Will give DC2 what we are having, within reason, lol.

I vow to really enjoy the coffee and cake stage, when they sleep so much, and not worry about getting dinner on the table or having a clean house. That's only when DS1 is in nursery though!

I agree with the weaning, with DS I knew about BLW but I was too controlling to let him get on with it! I'm sure this is why he now asserts his control by being fussy!

And yes, to be more generally relaxed and to have the confidence that whatever quirks this baby has, and how difficult they could turn out to be, the mantra "THIS TOO SHALL PASS" (learnt from MN) is absolutley true!

Good luck to us all - I'm sure this time round we will all be super-duper mummies! Ha!

Ohhh I really hope to be able to BF this time! Last time I struggled and we didn't get a latch so expressed and mixed feed, it wasn't until afterwards I was reading up and discovered I had flat nipples! I bought the nipplette first day after test 2 nights over night and corrected nipples! So fingers crossed it will help with BF.

If I have a colically (SP) baby this time I will take to a cranial osetopath straight away rather than wait 10 weeks (I didn't know about CO or enough about them) likewise if I have an assisted birth again I will goto an CO as soon as possible!

I hope to have an unassisted birth, after long labour, forceps and every drug except a GA I'm trying hypno birthing this time

I will wean BLW again as its fab!

I really really promise not to get totally freaked out when dc2 loses a little bit of weight (ds went from 7lb7 at birth to 6lb9 and I totally freaked!) and I will definitely be more relaxed about bfing. I used to make dh turn the sound off the telly so I could hear if ds was swallowing