If one more person asks what am I going to do with the dogs when I have the baby I'll go mad!

[ToffeeAddict]

Honestly, so many people have asked me what am I going to do with my dogs (3 whippets) when I have the baby, as if 'getting rid' of them is the only sensible course of action. I always protest and say that I have no intentions to do anything with the dogs other than keep them, obviously taking all due care with them around the new arrival, and seemingly everyone has a story about how they/their daughter/brother/friend really wanteed to keep their dog but had to rehome it soon after the baby was born. Please can some of you share your success stories of bringing baby home to a house with dogs with me so I can stop feeling so dsheartened by other people's attitudes to their 'beloved' pets?

I know some people really have no choice, for example where the dog(s) are presenting a real danger to the baby even after reasonable attempts at introducing them and I would never judge anyone who is forced to make the difficult decision in those circumstances.

My mum told me I should get rid of the cats too because cats sit on babies' faces and suffocate them. of course.

My yellow lab was a guide dog so no question of people expecting me to get rid of her, but the time that sticks most in my mind was Christmas day when we went to my parents and ds was asleep in his carseat in the lounge, we went through to the dining room to eat, and the dog went and lay next to ds' carseat rather than coming with us, this was unheard of because she is enormously attached to me and follows me everywhere.

My collie wasn't interested much when my dtws came home. She used to prick her ears up when they cried, but, sensibly, preferred to keep well away from these strange new arrivals. When they were older they used to be a bit rough with her, but she always put up with it or got herself off away from them. It's part of growing up to (gently!)learn not to tease dogs.

Presumably your friends are concerned that a) the dogs will be neglected, and b) the baby will be savaged. They just need reassurance that these things aren't going to happen.

we had a huge lurcher when ds1 was little

being a very 'emotionally sensitive' dog he did have a period of adjustment when ds1 was 2 months old, and it involved pacing the landing at night whining if baby cried. ohhhhh, I can just hear it now and remember well how it used to grate on me in my sleep deprived tired state

he got over that after a while and adjusted well to being the long-suffering climbing frame for the constantly-mobile toddler... pulled ears, tail, whiskers, hair, all suffered with those big soulful eyes and only the occasional teeth-baring, poor old boy!

he was quite protective when we were out and didn't like other dogs near the pram

I do still think that he deserved more walks though. I did everything I could, long walks twice a day with the sling, meeting up with other dogs for running / playing or mini walks around the park the rest of the day, etc but I don't think it was ever enough compared with what he had pre-baby.

And being very honest here, now that I have ds2 I am really glad that I don't have the added responsibility of keeping a dog happy at the same time as a baby. Sad but true. There are never enough hours in the day to keep everyone happy.

ilovepiccolina - at least yours had the sense to walk away mine used to stay and suffer

On the cat issue, it is not always as problem free as all that. I have an old and very twitchy/neurotic cat and we have had quite a few problems since bringing a baby home. First, she began weeing and pooing all over the house, and we eventually had to confine her to the downstairs area by installing a swing-close door. Things seemed to calm down, but the other day there was a very scary incident when I was breastfeeding the baby (now 5 months) on the couch and he was being very wiggly, kicking around and crying loudly (very uncharacteristic for him, think he was too hot, and I was in the process of starting to take off his jersey). The cat suddenly jumped up on the couch and made a move to snap/ bite the baby on the head. clearly freaked out by the screaming. Luckily my stepdaughter managed to push her away before the cat made contact.

This incident scared us all and obviously we have been highly vigilent since then and not allowed the cat anywhere near the baby. It is rather problematic, of course we cannot put him down anywhere downstairs, even for a second, in case the cat is around or comes in. It is likely to be even more difficult, of course, once baby starts sitting and crawling, he is not going to want to be held all the time to ensure he does not get near the cat.

I have had the cat for 13 years and am very attached to her, so feel really bad about thoughts I was getting of having her put to sleep (had these thoughts straight after she tried to attack baby). We are just going to have to be very very careful.

We had a Jack Russell who was 4 years old when my daughter was born. We took the introduction process really slowly bringing home a worn babygro from the hospital first before the baby came home so he could smell it and she wouldn't be a complete shock!! Things worked out really well and he eventually became quite protective of all the kids although the poor thing was sorely tried with all the pulling of him etc and the ultimate humiliation of being dressed up by her when she was a little older - poor thing!! I did feel very guilty about not being able to take him out for the walks he should have had when the kids were born and now wouldn't have another dog for a few years til I am sure I can give them some of the attention they obviously need.

We have the same problem! Have a 4 1/2 yearold very excitable boxer who has been used toi our sole attention since we got him at 9 weeks old! We are now 31 weeks pregnant and everyone has asked how we will cope!

I dont know! We are not getting rid of the dog he is a huge part of our family and have told people we will take it day at a time. Will make sure he gets attention when hubby home from work etc and throughout the day but Im not sure how to calm him down as he jumps at everyone who comes through the front door, although if he knows them after a min or so hes led down calm and sleepy!

Any suggestions ladies??

We have had a Basset Hound/Spaniel crossbreed for a couple of years and we were concerned about how he would adapt to our DS, born in July this year. Like you've experienced, a few people said, "the dog has got to go!" and still do occasionally.

The midwife advised us to have a doll around the house some time prior to the birth, which should smell like a baby (wash its clothes in baby fabic conditioner, even transfer some baby milk onto it!) and be treated like a baby, to get the dog accustomed to the change.

Also there are the obvious suggestions about ensuring that, once baby arrives, the dog receives the same amount of attention and exercise and lots of positive praise when s/he responds well to the baby.

We have had a couple of hiccups - he has peed on the carpet a couple of times (presumably for attention) and he does bark loudly when somebody's at the door, which can wake DS and stresses me out. He is quite a boisterous dog as well, like Spaniels are, so I imagine it will become more stressful when DS is older and crawling/walking. I've never been anxious that our dog would intentionally harm DS - there has been no aggression shown towards him - but of course I don't ever leave them alone together. It can be annoying waking the dog up to get him to leave the room with me, all the while trying to be as silent as possible while DS naps in his bouncy chair...but these are just inconveniences.

iateallthecreameggsyummy - perhaps get a local dog walker or trustworthy teenage neighbour to take him out for a walk every morning to get rid of a little of that excess energy? I'd get them to start before baby arrives to give him time to adjust. I think you also may need to keep some dog toys/treats hidden away for those times when he wants your attention but you just can't give it to him.

We had a jack russell when ds was born he was only just one himself. Sadly he got knocked down when ds was 13 months

One of my favourite pictures of him is of him lying over the sofa arm looking at ds in his carry cot - as if to say what the hell have you brought back now! He was fab with ds and we had a few comments about having a dog and baby but had no intention whatsoever of rehoming him. Still miss him now - he would have loved all our other children.

We've just got a border/bearded collie who is coming up 5 months - who is nuts but lovely and very gentle with the little ones.

A bontus of having a dog is when you are up and about you have to take them out for their walks which is 1) fab exercise for that post baby belly and 2) bound to send baby to sleep so you get a good bit of 'mind space'.

We had 2 Border Collies - not the most laid back of breeds - when our DS (now 7) was born. Like you, everyone kept asking us what we were going to do with our dogs. I remember the day we brought home DS from the hospital. He was in the house at least 2 hours before the dogs even clocked he was there. They were far more anxious about the helium balloon which accompanied a beautiful bunch of flowers! We allowed the dogs to have a good sniff of DS whilst we held him. They quickly lost interest and trotted off to find a tennis ball. Our male dog became very protective of DS and would sit next to anyone outside of the immediate family who happened to be holding DS - as if to keep an eye on them! To be honest, the only "problem" we encountered with having babies and dogs at the same time was the mutual exchange of toys! Both dogs, however, became a bit more jittery when my son became a toddler - on the move and heading straight for the dogs! We were careful to explain to DS how to behave with dogs - what they like, don't like etc. Dogs and boy now happily co-exist. I think as long as you don't ignore/ exclude your dogs you will be fine. IMO it is important to intoduce a new baby to a dog, the same way as you would a sibling to a child. At least be happy in the knowledge that all the dog walking will get you back in to shape in no time at all!

We compete in the world of mushing(sled dogs and canicross) so lots of dogs around. Advice was to put the baby clothes on the floor for your dogs to smell before you get home from hospital. Also give them a dirty nappy and dont worry if they eat it or pull it apart. Really important to introduce the dogs gradually. Wait until you're all calm and relaxed. Never show the baby to the dog and then snatch the baby away.

We had to put one of our dogs down before ds1 was born as she was showing aggression towards other dogs and children. The other dogs have adapted really well to the new arrival

Hi all

I'm so pleased this thread has started as we've got a 1 year old border collie (currently house princess) and a baby on the way, due in Feb. We've thought hard about how best to handle things and will just do what others on here are doing - make sure she gets her own attention and time with us and keeping her routine (as much as possible) including her big weekday walks with her dog walker which we started about 6 months ago. I genuinely believe that if we are relaxed and happy for baby and dog to be around each other then everything will be fine - I hope I'm proved right! It's going to be an adjustment for everyone, but the dog is as much a part of the family as anyone else so it's just a case of being sensible and thinking ahead, I reckon.

Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't but you know your dogs. We too had 3 dogs when dd was born last year - a Mastiff, a Lab and a Jack Russell. Our Mastiff would protect dd to the end (lays outside her nursery door and will put up with all sorts of 'patting' and poking). The Lab is completely indifferent and providing dd doesn't tread on an old, arthritic limb, is fine. My JRT was another matter - very jealous, would jump up at dd at any opportunity. Unfortunately we had to rehome my jrt because of this. We found her a great home and I don't have a doubt in my mind that it was the right thing to do. No one else can judge but you will know.

OP i had this but with cats instead.
when people used to ask will you 'get rid' of your cats when baby comes along - i was horrified and replied NO i will have to give the baby away
was only joking of course, but it shut them up!

i have a doberman, again like any dog its how you bring them up and also some of there characteristics do stem dowm from there parents, both parents of my dog are show dogs, and my dog is one of the softest, good natured dogs you will ever meet. cant wait to see her with wee one . however you can imagine some comments i have had very uncalled for and drive me mad too.

My SIL had 5 large collie cross dogs when she had her DS and she has never once had a problem with them at all. They are very protective of him.

We had 3 cats when DD was born. The female one went loopy started weeing & pooing everywhere and then wouldn't come in the house at all except to eat. 3 months after DD was born the cat left home and took up residence with a nice old lady round the corner all of her own accord! We never would have dreamt of giving any of the cats up, she had other ideas! The 2 we still have try and avoid our DD (15months) like the plague, but when she does get to them they are usually very tolerant and just take the 'cuddles' she gives them!

Nomorebooze, my dad bought me a doberman puppy before I could even walk. You could never have asked for a better dog. She was like a Nanny to us. The kids in street used to knock on the door and ask if the dog was allowed to play out. She even befriended our rabbits and later my dad pigeons.

My gran was outraged when he brought the dog home. But even she grew to love her and she doesn't like dogs.

I could spend a lifetime trying to find another like her, but I never will.

Completely understand, it is so annoying to be asked this question. We have 2 German Shepherds, our DD is now 6 months old and I think it is her terrorizing them. They are both so soft. One dog, 10 years old just runs away from her if she gets too close. The other 15 years old just lies there as she pulls her ears and fur. Doesn't even bat an eyelid.

Before DD came we did out her playmats on the floor and trained the dogs not to go on them.

The only problem I am having is dog hair. Now she is more mobile and rolling everywhere she is always covered in it. Not helping that they are molting in their winter coats at the moment.

So what are you going to do with the dogs when the baby comes?

shinyandnew, my mother was horrified as well but know cant get over how pathetic she is, shes actually asleep sitting on my knee now!! bum on my knee with her legs standing on floor, swaying away, really amuses everyone nutter lol.

Before I had DS, my MIL used to make similar comments about not allowing our cat (Maine Coon) into the baby's room, keeping the cat away from him completely, something about cat fluff being bad for their breathing... I don't know! but she never mentioned a word about the huge elderly Gordon Setter we also shared our home with - she's just a dog person! DH lived with dogs all his life, and I have to admit the GS was fab when we brought DS home from the hospital - just wanted to lick him (which we discouraged!) but then never really bothered with him afterwards. Our MC, on the other hand, took one look at the baby, then looked at me as if to say "what the hell is THAT!" and took herself off to the back door where she sat for about an hour, obviously trying to leave home, lol! In the end both cat and dog took to DS, and it was such a shame when both died - GS had to be put to sleep when DS was still quite tiny due to complete loss of bowel control as a result of a dreadful illness she had, and MC died of heart failure on the stairs aged 5, just before DS's 2nd birthday.

We now have adopted two more Maine Coons (mother and son) who had never previously lived with a child. Mummy MC is very tolerant of DS, she comes up on the sofa and sits next to him when he's watching TV, grooms his hair, allows him to stroke her with no complaints etc. Boy MC is less tolerant all round (except of me) and quite quick with his claws - but he'll calm down as he gets older. So I'm hoping that, having coped with one small child, they'll be okay with no. 2 who is due in April. Having said that, DS's bedroom door is always kept closed so the cats can't just get on his bed, and the same will apply to the baby's room.

I think it's taking a responsible attitude to animals that matters - and there's nothing better for kids than growing up with animals around them.

We have 2 collies who were 5 and 4 when dd1 was born. They are both rescue dogs and apparently unsuitable for young children. Oh well. DD2 arrived, and we have had no problems at all. The younger dog does not especially like kids unless they play with him, but frankly, who does want to be poked and prodded and have their tail pulled?

We have never left the children alone with the dogs, and of course they have their differences. I don't expect dogs to like children any more than I expect children to like dogs!

If you can sort out the dogs' routine before the new baby arrives, so they don't feel left out, you should be fine.

Parents who don't have animals seem to spend an awful lot of time mopping and sweeping the kitchen floor.

DH and I discussed this yesterday and decided we have to treat the dog like an older sibling: make sure she doesn't miss out on any attention, treat her to be gentle around baby, and never leave the two alone together.

That was exactly the line we took with our dachshund when we had DD. We didn't have any problems.