Pregnant and feeling guilty about other child

[tinylion]

Anyone else feel like they are not giving their other child/children enough attention at the moment?

I have felt so rough with morning sickness and I'm just so tired (15 weeks) that my poor 2.5 dd is just not getting much time with mummy.

Honestly, each day it is a complete relief when she is packed off to bed (sometimes early as I just cannot be climbed on any longer without going mad, do you know what I mean?)

All she wants is my attention and I just feel so sluggish and tired.

I'm feeling majorly guilty...

You mustn't feel guilty - you really have no choice, I'm sure you'd much rather be having mummy-time with your dd than suffering from morning sickness. It's not your fault and it won't last forever.

I'm past the morning sickness stage but so tired come the evening that I just palm my dd off on dh when he's home, and he does supper/bath/bed while I just kind of crash on the sofa. Makes me feel guilty as hell (and sad as I enjoy doing all those things) but we have to take care of ourselves and the lo's growing inside us.

Your dd won't hold it against you, and there are so many lovely times ahead that you must remember this stage isn't forever

tinylion I sympathise completely, having had many similar feelings throughout my pg due to hypermesis. I am now due any day, and can see that dd has not suffered from it at all (she is 3.3) and in fact in a way helps them get used to the reduction in attention. Not that it helps the guilty feelings, but it is normal and it won't hurt her.

Try to make time for her in ways you might not normally do. I would cuddle in bed before her bedtime if i wanted to go to bed and read her stories, or put something on the laptop for her to play on/watch while i dozed, vaguely interacted. And it changed the relationship with dh, for the better.

Yes! I feel similar. 32 weeks with a kidney infection

dd's new game is "sleeping" where she lies down somewhere and pulls something over herself in imitation of me lying about feeling shite.

And we should be feeling guilty because first children are the best, as all first children know

tiny hopefully in a few weeks you will barely feel pregnant and all will be well until 3rd trimester makes you tired again by then it will be nearly over.

thanks for messages everyone...Dh put her to bed tonight - he's had her most of the day as well but we did have a nice cuddle before she went to sleep. It is such a struggle feeling tired/sluggish all the time. Just doing simple things, like emptying the dishwasher or putting in a wash seems to take forever. God, I really hope I get an energy burst in a couple of weeks.

skidoodle - dd keeps saying "I feel sick" and putting her head in her hands, which is what I do all the time, so I know what you mean...

roll on next few weeks...I wonder how pregnant mumsnetters with two or three children manage? I suppose everyone just "gets on with it" - hate that phrase!

It really won't do her any harm at all to spend a little more time with DH. It will in fact be good for them.

What I lost out on with DD while I was so poorly this pregnancy i saw DH gain. DD and I still have our special bond, it has not been lost, or broken, or reduced in any way, but she has the added bonus of an even stronger relationship with her daddy too now. And now I am starting to realise what a new baby might mean in terms of my lack of time for her, I am pleased this strong relationship is already there when the baby arrives.

DD goes out with DH now, and when she comes back in, she shouts 'mummy?' and if I am up and about she says 'mummy is NOT in bed, she is up daddy, she is up!'

Yes!! My dd is 17mo and I am 30 weeks pg.

I hate that I cant roll on the floor or chase her anymore. She is defo preffering her Dad at the weekends which is upsetting.

Once this baby is here and Im feeling normal again I am going to take her out for days just us.

Funnily enough, dd also lies downs and pretends to snore - Wonder where she has seen that...

I remember the earlier part of my PG and I was so sick. DS was so hard to look after and I was very short tempered .

I got over it though and so did he!

Now im 34 weeks and last week Ive been really crap company for him. I just knackered. Ive barley spoke to him all morning and he looks very fed up .

I better get my fat ass off MN and take him to the park. Guilt is a horrible thing!

Good luck everyone!

tinylion come and join us on the May antenatal club. many of us with one or more are feeling very similar, I'm 13 weeks today and ms is starting to lift by about mid-morning so now have more energy to spend time with dd. It does get easier and its not forever.