Where should a newborn sleep??

[bigpreggybelly]

Does it really make any difference?

The planned child's room is just across the hall with the cot being around 5 metres (at the very most) from our room. I'd rather it got used to its own room right from the word go, but I keep reading stuff saying it should go in the parents room for the first few months, but with no proper explanation as to why.

What do/did you all do?

Current guidelines to prevent SIDS are that babies should be in with parents for 6 months.

I have a 2 week old DS2 who is in a moses basket in our room at the moment. DS1 was in with us until about 8 weeks then went in his own room as we were all getting disturbed sleep by sharing a room. Also he'd more or less outgrown his moses basket and had been having naps in his cot already so was used to it.

I expect we'll probably do similar this time as well. It's not what's recommended but it was right for us last time.

DC will sleep on its own bedroom because a) I don't have the space in my room b) DH works shift and it will be easier to isolate DC and I when he's asleep c) I think DC needs to be in its own room in order to understand that everybody sleeps in its own room.
Saying that during the day, I'm aiming to have him in the living room in a moises basket.

There is an increased risk of SIDS in babies under 6 months who do not share a room with their parents. So that's why it's recommended to keep them in your room.

Also, on a more practical note, small babies wake up a lot at night. It is much easier to roll over, pick the baby out of the moses basket by your bed, feed them and plonk them back again, than it is to get out of bed (shudder) walk across the landing, pick up baby, feed/settle them, put them down, get back into bed and then attempt to get back to sleep yourself in time for the next waking.

We went for the co-sleeping option, which means not even having to sit up, but realise that may not be for everyone.

I'm with faintlymacabre - I'm planning on just reaching across the bed to pick it up... co-sleeping is also an option.

Yes, we were lucky that DS never pooed at night after about 4 weeks, after which point I never got out of bed to deal with a baby again!
Will have to wait and see what DC2 is like...

IME, newborns sleep on me somewhere.

I co-slept/moses basket with DS1 and 2, DS3 I co-slept downstairs with in the beginning as my boobs never seemed to satisfy him and he was crying/waking a lot.

Next one will probably be the same.

If you're really lucky and get a good sleeper, having baby in its own room will work out quite well I'd think But I do think the risk is about possibility of SIDS.
DS was not such a good sleeper and especially when very tiny, needed feeding every 2-3 hours even through the night, so having him across the hall would have been too much of a bother for lazy me
I usually would end up giving up and letting him sleep next to me in bed as he'd fall back to sleep after a bf and he'd be lovely, warm and happily sleeping and I so much wanted a couple hours of sleep, too.

StayFrosty is right - the reasoning behind the baby staying in the same room as the parents is that hearing the regular breathing of someone in teh same room helps them to regulate their own breathing.

I took the view that having my baby in the same room was a small price to pay for reducing the possibilty of cot death.

Yes, newborns are incredibly noisy - but they get quieter as they get older and you get used to it.

Dd1 was with us for 9months (we began to quite like having her in with us) and dd2 is still with us at 7mo but only because she is still night waking so we can't put her in a room with her big sister yet.

It is up to each parent to evaluate the risks and decide which ones they want to take.

The risk of cot death is doubled when a baby sleeps in a room alone before 6 months. (although, for perspective, the risk is very small in the first place) They don't actually know why this is but I believe the most commonly accepted theory is that very small babies can "forget" to breathe, but the sound of another person breathing in the room sort of jolts their body into breathing - this has definitely been shown in tests, though possibly not enough to prove it as an absolute. I have also heard that it's been shown that when mother and baby co-sleep or sleep very close, their breathing "synchronises". I remember listening to DS breathe when he was tiny and occasionally he would sort of skip a breath, I would hold my own breath to hear his next one better and when he did take a breath it would be louder or deeper than usual, like he was catching up. (DH was in the room too so he probably got his "cue" from there)

The theory makes sense to me as humans are a carrying species, not a cache species, so we have evolved to have our infants near us at all times until they can walk or crawl, and even then at the beginning it's common for separation anxiety to be beginning, meaning they are not likely to go far away anyway. So I would say the best place for a baby to sleep is in the room with you (including for naps - you can have a moses basket/carrycot/pram downstairs) until about 6 months, or the time they begin to be disturbed by you moving around and doing things in the same room. I co-slept with DS when he was tiny and found that a lot easier for breastfeeding (you can sleep while you feed which is a lifesaver!) - but I understand that's not for everyone.

Thanks for the advice so far, I've heard on various websites about the supposed reduced risk of SIDS but cannot understand the mechanism and they never provide the reference so that I can look it up.

So if its just hearing someone else breathing, what happens when you let them sleep in the cot during the day and you are somewhere else (with a monitor) in the house?

Does anyone know if this research is scientific or just some mad theory? How does anyone know what the baby hears? I still can't see what difference it makes what room its in. Does anyone have a reference for the research?

I've heard co-sleeping (by that I assume you mean in the same bed) is a risk factor for SIDS so not planning on that and feeding in the same room will disturb my sleep just as much as popping into the other.

my DS is now 10weeks (2month) and will be staying in our (mine and DH's) room till he is 6 month. before going in his big cot in his own room.
he was in a moses basket for the first 2weeks. then he went into his crib. which is right next to the bed.

x

DD was nearly 6 months when she moved into her own room. She has no problem understanding that we sleep in different rooms despite being in with us.

She used to go to bed hours before us though, so would be alone for quite a few hours of the night. We did have a breathing monitor though, which is good for peace of mind.

The thing is though, that the 'back to sleep' message is also based only on observation and not on a scientific theory. For a long time it was thought that prone sleeping was safer because a baby wouldn't be able to choke if they were sick. It was only when large amounts of SIDS data were collected that it was realised that supine sleeping is safer. The mechanism is unknown, although there are plenty of theories. So, if you accept that 'back to sleep' is safer (and I assume you do) you have to accept that this is based purely on epidemiological research and there is no proven mechanism as to why it should be so.

The same goes for room-sharing. Although there are plenty of theories as to why it should be safer, the fact is that it is safer, based on looking at SIDS data. It should be possible to believe this without the need for an explanation of the mechanism. (Although I agree that would be nice).

As BerieBotts said, the advice for naps is to have them with you in a pram/travel cot/moses basket. Newborns are vey transportable and it is easy to move them in a moses basket from your living room to the bedroom when you go to bed.

I must admit that I found this one harder to do and did put dd2 in a quiet room downstairs for naps - mainly becaise her big sister would just wake her up.

We also have a breathing monitor - but that only tells you if they stop breathing - you have to make sure you know what to do if the alarm goes off.

bigpreggybelly it sounds as if you have already made up your mind - which is fine. You know what the advice is and you need to decide what risks you want to take - and what you even consider a risk given the information that has been given to you.

But meep I'm not sure if I have made up my mind. I know what I'd prefer. But if there is sound (and I mean sound, rather than coincidental) evidence that it is beneficial I'd like to hear more about it, since it obviously needs further consideration.

Good old Gina says they should always sleep in their own room, even during the day, but I'm not her disciple, and in that respect its possible her book hasn't been updated.

Here is some info giving some background behind the research. Unfortunately it doesn't cover room-sharing in detail, apart from to mention the 2-fold risk of not room sharing, but it does reference the research papers in the footnotes, so you could look them up if you feel so inclined.

I have bought one of these
Would be interested to hear if others have used them.
DD was in moses basket beside bed then in cot in room with us for first 6months.

I think the problem is that no-one really knows what causes SIDS.

The research is based on epidemiological studies. It starts with looking at all the factors where there has been a SIDS death - so information is taken about the family, sleeping arrangements, medical history, autopsy etc

It is difficult for there to be any "scientific" measure as a lot of information comes from non-scientists ie/parents

However the guidelines are not handed out just to make our lives difficult and therefore these sudies must show a trend where cot death has occurred with babies who did not sleep in the same room as their parents.

And don't listen to Gina - I spent the first months of dd1's life trying to feed her the Gina way - she cried a lot (through hunger probably). Fed dd2 on demand and she naryurally settled in to Ginas feeding patterns without being forced into it and is a much happier wee soul - but that is a whole other rant subject

DS would only sleep on his front.
When are you due? I'm so curious to hear back from you about whether feeding in the same room or popping into the other room will equally disturb your sleep I had all of these ideas when I was pg before DS came, too. Newborns just wake up so much. And I had absolutely no idea how exhausting it would be waking so much. I thought I knew what it was like to have disturbed sleep already since I was having difficulty in pregnancy sleeping and I was a nanny in the summer during university...etc. but nope, I just had no idea until DS arrived. It is totally life changing... but the best change ever

I read quite a bit of research on this before moving DS into his own room at 8 weeks.

What I discovered was that the only definate link between a reduction in SIDS and having your baby sleep in the same room as you occured where there was a smoker in the house. This is also the group where the majority of SIDS cases occured.

For all other groups there was - apparently - no change.

DC is sleeping in its own cot in its own room for naps during the day (with a monitor), then in a moses basket in our room for night sleeping. We will see how long that lasts as DH and I both snore like bears with sinus problems so DC might get a better night's sleep in its own room! We are also planning on moving DC to its own room for night sleeps once it outgrows the moses basket.

Similarly, the risk of SIDS from co sleeping (if you're not on drugs or drunk) is also not proven or backed up with any hard evidence.