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Pregnancy

Am I being over the top?

12 replies

Elf1981 · 20/06/2005 12:32

Feel free to call me a cow, but am I being over the top in wanting people to respect my own personal space? I'm almost 24 weeks pregnant, and I am getting rather fed up with people patting my tummy / rubbing my tummy etc.
Firstly, it's toooooo hot to have people pawning over me. Secondly, I have never ever patted a pregnant woman's tummy before, and never expected anybody to do it to me! I don't mind my DH doing it, I encourage this, but only so he can be involved with the baby a bit more.
I'm going to a wedding on Friday and loads of DH's family will be there. How can I avoid being touched to the point where I growl in annoyance? Or am I being unreasonable in wanting people to at least ASK before they touch me!
Has anybody else felt like the minute they get a bump, it's a free for all in touching it, like a lucky Buddah or something?!

OP posts:

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moozoboozo · 20/06/2005 12:34

I personally didnt mind people touching my bump, but I can understand why you might hate it! YOu wouldnt go round patting a non pregnant stranger's belly would you? Tell them to bugger off.

What I hated more was all the pregnancy and birth horror stories everyone insisted on telling me.

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Gobbledigook · 20/06/2005 12:36

I'm with you elf and I hated people presuming to pat my bump - it's as if your personal space boundary just disappears and suddenly it's Ok for everyone to maul your tummy.

Little you can do about it though as people put their hand their before you get a chance to say 'gerrof'!!

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struts50 · 20/06/2005 12:56

My DP bought me a great T shirt with "DO NOT TOUCH THE BUMP" on it - did the trick.

Susan

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debs26 · 20/06/2005 12:58

if they pat your tummy, pat theirs back. they get the message pretty quick

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Miaou · 20/06/2005 12:58

Sympathies elf. Strange though - I'm in my third pregnancy and can honestly say that NO-ONE has ever touched my tummy except for the invited or dh! I'm now wondering what "bugger off" signals I must be giving out - and they must be strong!

All I can suggest is to put a physical barrier in the way - eg hold a bag over your stomach (a clutch bag or one that you hook over your wrist), or put your arm across your stomach if people start invading your space. I have to say also that if it was me and someone came towards me with their hand outstretched I would take a step backwards and hope they get the hint!

Or - make sure that as far a possible you always have a glass in your hand and hold that in front of your bump. HTH.

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Iklboo · 20/06/2005 13:00

Quickly get a T-Shirt printed with "Step Away From The Bump" written on it! And then let me know where you got it done so I can get one. I'm 20 weeks and have quite a bump and I HATE being pawed by strangers, colleagues etc

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ChaCha · 20/06/2005 13:05

Am gatecrashing!
Iklboo - I see you no more on the November thread..how are you?

I had one friend pat my 'tiny' bump at 15 weeks...I ran a mile

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rodeo1 · 20/06/2005 18:19

Urgh, I don't like it either Elf, although not too bothered if a woman touche me, if a man tries to touch it I want to smack them in the face! Happens to me a lot at work (I work in a pub), I really don't like it, urgh, I'm getting wound up thinking just thinking about it!!!

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aloha · 20/06/2005 18:23

Miaou, I think you and I have the same vibes. I really would dislike being patted by strangers - or even people I know and i think my body language was quite standoffish. I also didn't talk about being pregnant and if someone started the conversation I steered it away fast. Found it unutterably tedious to go through the whole 'boy or girl?/are you excited?/when it is it due' rigmarole over and over again.
I think the body language tricks - maintaining a lot of space between you, arms over bump, glass in hand etc etc sound good.
I also HATED being told 'ooh you are so big' and rude crap like that. I'd say, quite crossly, 'I am pregnant. There is a baby in there actually.'

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rodeo1 · 20/06/2005 18:24

A man came up behind me and grabbed me with both hands round my bump I did tell him to 'p*ss off' - I think he got the message

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kate100 · 20/06/2005 18:34

OOh Miaou, I must give off those vibes too. I really hated being pawed last time and habe been very protective of my space. Being on crutches does help as I can cross them in front of me.

Another tactic I have used is to pat the person back, I did this to my MIL, she got the message