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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

age in pregnancy

21 replies

kellze · 14/11/2009 16:33

I had my first son at 19 years ol. I'm now 30 with new partner who is 24 (whoop)and I'm 20 weeks pg.

We had discussion today about if we wanted another one, we do. So timings came up and cos he is startin uni, obviously don't want to do it soon because of money etc. But he said because I am so old, we can't leave it too long.

I am supremely offended i thought maybe 5 or six years gap. Will that make me too old regarding complications etc???

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cece · 14/11/2009 16:36

OFGS I have just had a baby at the grand old age of 42. What does that make me???

Tell him loads of women don't have their first till their mid thirties...

Lulumama · 14/11/2009 16:38

you have a good 10 years yet , before i would start to really worry

having said that, fertility does decline after 35, so you might find it takes longer to conceive but i would say you don't need to worry about cramming in lots of babies in the next 5 years

he thinks you are so old at 30??

was he serious?

wreckofhesperus · 14/11/2009 16:39

I think it depends on your general state of health really. I had my first (and only!) 11 days before my 42nd birthday. I had no complications, no morning sickness, no high blood pressure, nothing. Fantastic labour (drugs and epidural) and now weigh about two stone less than I did before I even fell pregnant. I sound like an unbearably smug cow but I'm just trying to say that mid thirties is not old to have children (very popular age these days). Oh, and I hadn't set foot in a gym for about 6 years before I was pregnant! I'm generally healthy, that's all. DD is 2.2 now and is bright, bouncy and beautiful. No post natal depression either. Only downside is that I had a fabulous job/career and I did have to change that to work for a more family oriented company so earn quite a lot less and spend quite a lot more!

thedollshouse · 14/11/2009 16:42

No way will you be too old! I had my first at 31 and I am expecting my second at 37. Around these parts my age is pretty average, I know lots of mums who had children in their 40's.

The main issue in leaving it later is fertility, as a rule fertility starts to decline quite quickly after the age of 35 and then rapidly once you hit 40. Obviously it depends on the individual. It took us a year to conceive this baby whilst we conceived ds at the second attempt. Complications do increase with age and it is more riskier to have a child over the age of 40.

woowa · 14/11/2009 17:25

I chatted to a lady today whose mum had her when she was 51. I kid you not. I am 30, and on first baby, and plan to cram in as many as biologically possible in the next ten years or so!!

YOU ARE NOT OLD...

sarah293 · 14/11/2009 17:26

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Original poster
kellze · 14/11/2009 17:40

This is honestly the first time my age has come up in any discussion we have had. He is worried about any complications or possible problems such as downs etc.

Would love at least two more after this one though.

Also, only as old as the man you feel

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sarah293 · 14/11/2009 17:44

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Lulumama · 14/11/2009 19:10

as riven has said, there is risk at any age

the screening tests do test for certain issues, such as Downs Syndrome.. but there are plenty of things that can't be detected

also, a low risk for Downs Syndrome, does not mean no risk

you take a chance every time

furthermore, if he thinks that disability is an issue, he has to consdier that injury/damage can occur during the birth or afterwards

there is no 100 % guarantee your baby will be NT, whatver the tests say

he also needs to do a bit of reading and reserach if he thinks 30 is too old

gizzy1973 · 14/11/2009 19:21

I am 36 with my first due in january and so far everything has been fine

LunaticFringe · 14/11/2009 19:34

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bruhaha · 14/11/2009 19:50

hi - i had my first at 36 and am currently 6 weeks pg with second at the age of 38.

daisyj · 14/11/2009 19:56

I had my first at 36 (after one MC - although that's not necessarily anything to do with age). Had a great pregnancy and birth, loads of energy, worked till 38 weeks. Recovered really quickly, in all ways. So there! 30 is so not old. But you know that already. And as others have said, no denying that age does impact on fertility and the likelihood of other problems, but these can still occur at any age. After my mc (age 35) my lovely French doctor told me to try again as soon as I wanted to, and that I wouldn't be considered on the old side in France as you had to be 37 before you were considered not young to be having your first .

LunaticFringe · 14/11/2009 20:11

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Chynah · 14/11/2009 21:49

I had first at 39 and am pregnant now (40) both at first attempt! I had no sickness and a very healthy active pregnancy (ran til 36 weeks). You are not old!

whensmydayoff · 16/11/2009 09:46

Hmmm, Im going to get my head chewed off for this.....
I had my first baby at 30 and am currently 33 weeks with 2nd at 33 yrs old so Im not being age-ist here BUT...
Although we ARE young, I think too many woman take it for granted that they can wait and it will be fine.
Unfortunately our maternal age is not young. It has been proven that our fertility is healthier in our 20's and declines rapidly after 35. Yes, we can have healthy babies but complications, birth defects etc are more common place with age.
Im with your DH/DP on this. Age has to be considered and maybe 5 year gaps are not as easy to have in your thirties. 2-3 years would still leave time if you wanted a third or even 4th!!

awaits backlash

nutritionmum · 16/11/2009 10:12

I am 42 and pregnant with my first baby!!!

I went for my 12 week scan last week and all was fine.

However, I was very fit before the pregnancy and it only took 2 months to conceive.

I am a Nutritional Therapist and look after my diet. I think a combination of looking after yourself, reducing stress levels and a positive state of mind will allow you to do most things.

Hope this helps :-)

Seeline · 16/11/2009 10:18

I had my second at 36 with no problems, despite being classed as an 'older mum' by the hospital. Obviously as you get older, fertility reduces and some risks do increase - you have to weigh it all up at the time. However, my kids are now 8 and 5, and I am glad I didn't leave it too late - they and their lives are exhausting. I think you do have more energy at 20 and 30 than at 40+, can cope with broken nights better etc. Just another little factor to consider!

CatIsSleepy · 16/11/2009 10:21

had my 2 at 35 and 38
having said that am not dealing too well with the sleepless nights being inflicted on me currently by dd2 (8m)...they make me feel old and tired!
I certainly don't feel like I could do it again as I don't think I could take another year of not enough sleep

bigpreggybelly · 16/11/2009 10:22

No - I'm 42 and 32 weeks pregnant with first! Everything going ok so far. You're in your prime I think!

jay11 · 16/11/2009 10:22

30 is not too old! I had my 3rd at 36, and no tests with any of my pregnancies - they're not 100% anyway.

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