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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Anyone else scared sh!tless of giving birth for the 2nd time?

19 replies

mama2moo · 13/11/2009 21:23

Dc2 is due in January and my birth with dd was fine. I had stitches but it wasnt a problem.

I am really scared about doing it again though. I dont think its helping that everyone is telling me this baby will be huge and much harder because I had it easy last time.

Please come and reassure me

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displayuntilbestbefore · 13/11/2009 21:26

I had an easy birth first time around and was just like you, petrified it wouldn't be as easy next time around - but it was, no complications, faster (a LOT faster!) and so just relax a bit and go with the flow!
hth

GhoulsAreLoud · 13/11/2009 21:27

Hiya,

Well I had a horrible first birth and a big baby but am not due until July so although birth terrifies me I am not in the active fear stage just yet.

For me, I think I need to think about what went wrong last time - the things I can control and the things I can't.

So, I can't control the fact that there's a good chance that this once will be a 10 pounder, but I can do some work beforehand to get the baby into a good position. I'm convinced the terrible time I had before was down to position.

I'm also planning to do a hypnobirthing course because last time the pain was totally in control of me and that was what was so frightening.

Have you thought about why things went ok for you, and what you can do to replicate that?

Original poster

mama2moo · 13/11/2009 21:27

Thanks! Dd was a 2 hour labour so it could be interesting if that is true of everyone

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displayuntilbestbefore · 13/11/2009 21:28

Oh, and don't believe them when they tell you the baby is going to be huge. With ds 1 and ds2 the MWs told me they were going to be big - ds2 they said was at least 9lbs at 38 wks ...load of baloney - he was only 8lbs when he was born and was overdue, so don't panic!

Original poster

mama2moo · 13/11/2009 21:29

GhoulsAreLoud - Have you been through your notes with a mw to work out what could have been done differently?

For me, I kept active all day while I had very very mild contractions. Once in established labour I still kept walking around until time to get onto the bed. Then it was an hour before dd was born.

I am hoping to keep active this time - Loads of walking up and down the stairs and ironing!!

OP posts:

IMoveTheStarsForNoOne · 13/11/2009 21:30

me too. it's why i'm not pregnant with DC2 yet - frigging terrified. eep!

displayuntilbestbefore · 13/11/2009 21:30

I had active births with all 3 and am convinced it helped me avoid extra intervention. Plus, I like to think my boys were being considerate towards their dear mother!

GhoulsAreLoud · 13/11/2009 21:31

They were pretty dismissive to be honest, just keep saying you've done it before, it will be ok next time.

I was pretty active in early labour but after 24 hours, not so much

butterscotch · 13/11/2009 21:31

Same for me as GhoulsAreLoud awful first birth, hating the idea of going through it again! Baby was back to back, hospital from Thur eve till having her at Sat! Also going to do hynobirthing course! as I have heard it is good!

I have a friend who had a quick first birth and even quicker 2nd birth and baby was only slightly bigger! some people are just luck! good luck!

weaselm4 · 13/11/2009 21:32

First birth was not easy, second was brilliant (8lb 8 oz so not small)! And very fast after induction. It's 9 months ago now, and I seem to replay it in my head quite often and it makes me feel great!

Why should you have a more difficult birth because first was easy? Lots of positive vibes your way!

TeenyTinyToria · 13/11/2009 21:34

I had a terrible first birth - induction, 12 hour labour, epidural, episiotomy, forceps, burst stitches, infection, etc, etc.

I had dd 20 weeks ago, 3 hours after getting to the hospital. No pain relief, 2nd degree tear that gave me no problems at all, was back to normal pretty quickly.

For me, the key things were taking Spatone religiously throughout pregnancy, staying active for as long as possible, breathing techniques, and positive thinking!

whensmydayoff · 13/11/2009 21:37

I was in same position as you. This is my second, Im due January and was pertrified. I have just done a hypnobirthing course and it has totally changed and relaxed me. I am actually really looking forward to the birth. Google one near you now, you wont regret it. It also teaches you everything from relaxation and breathing to your rights in hospital and throughout PG.

Milliemuffin · 13/11/2009 21:37

I'm due with my second in 7wks and after an episiotomy and forceps with DS (who's now 2y 5m) I'm also a little anxious but I've got so much to do between now and then that I barely get time to think about the pain side of things and worry more about my DS's new room being ready and will my mum make it here in time to pick him up so he doesnt have to see me in pain, all them kinds of worries. The pain I'll just have to deal with there and then so I'm using my energy to worry about what I do have control over ie making sure everything is ready/tidy/packed etc etc. Sorry cant be of more help, try and find something else to concentrate on. Baby has to come out, no point worrying, it wont make it any less painful. Wrap some xmas presies or write your cards etc, anything to take your mind off it xx

PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 13/11/2009 21:41

I am about to give birth any day now to no.2 and the last couple of days, when I have chilled and relaxed and started the wait...i am starting to panic somewhat too! I think its partly the unknown of whether the second will be worse or better, and also, the known, i know what is coming, at the very minimum!

But i also have a tendancy to over inflate things and make them worse than they really are, so i keep reminding myself of that...memory worse than reality!

Good luck! x

Original poster

mama2moo · 13/11/2009 21:59

I will look into hypnobirthing, thanks.

I suppose we all know what to expect this time round! Its after Christmas that I will be worse I think, I wont be working and the hype of Christmas will be gone!

Oh well, like you say babies have to come out!!

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Travellerintime · 14/11/2009 12:05

Another vote for hypnobirthing.

After dd I put off having no. 2 because I couldn't face labour again (even tho' dd was straightforward, if v v painful).

Did hypnobirthing course for ds - the best thing about it were the breathing techniques, and it really helped my pre-birth nerves.

You can get hypnobirthing CDs if you don't fancy paying out for the course.

FJMi · 14/11/2009 12:11

God just reading your title makes me scared for my first!

Momdeguerre · 14/11/2009 14:31

I am very worried - almost more worried about this second labour than I was with my first. I did not have a terrible experience - my DS was born after 4 hours but I did end up with a 3rd degree tear.

I think it is just because I am that bit more realistic this time round.

Original poster

mama2moo · 14/11/2009 21:25

Sorry FJMi. My first labour was fine, thats why Im worrying about something going wrong this time

I think its because I know what happens this time (not that its bad the first time). The first time you are entering a world of the unknown - I wish I was doing it for the first time again.

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