Feeling bad about being pregnant

[jaynel]

Ok, this is really hard for me as i'm a bit worried about what people are going to say but i need to get this out as hubby is just shrugging me off. i have a dd (11) and a DS (4) and i'm 23 weeks pregnant, the pregnancy was very well wanted as i'd been trying for about 18 months, when i fell pregnant i was shocked as i was told i'm not ovulating and had a cyst on my ovary so had kinda mixed feelings. I'm feeling very negative about being pregnant, without beating around the bush, i feel like i don't want the baby, if people talk about it i switch off, i wasn't interested in finding out what it is, i haven't really brought anything and just generally can't be bothered, i'm very scared how i will cope with another one and i'm very depressed, i adore the dc i have and i'm petrified i wont love or want my baby. When it kicks i dont feel happy, i't anoys me a little bit. please dont think i'm a bad mum and ungreatful as i never thought id feel like this, my dh thinks i have postnatal depression as i'm a complete nightmare to live with but i dont think you can have postnatal depression before the baby is born can you. I'm so ashamed of myself and feel like im turning into an obsessed freak. we have really nosey neighbours so i have been avoiding them so they dont know i'm pregnant, i park where they can't see me and dont go in the garden unless i have to. is this normal, i just want to be happy again, i know my dh would never leave me but i'm really pushing him lately and i dont know how to control my feelings anymore. Im sorry if i've upset some people but just need some advice.

I don't have any experience in this area, but you sound depressed and need some medical advice. I think you need to see your gp about this one. Sorry I'm not of much use but didn't want to leave the post unanswered. Good luck.

thank you, was told that but dont want my dr to think bad off me.

you don't sound very happy at all, could you have antenatal depression? I think you should see your GP or maybe speak to your MW. Best wishes.

your doc won't think bad of you, what's more important is that you are ok, antenatal depression is very common apparently.

The thing is i dont want to go on Anti depressents either, i feel like such a bad person, this the such a thing as Antenatal Depression?

Sounds like you might be suffering from a little ante-natal depression, which is very real for some people.

FWIW, I have had a lot of time feeling like this, perhaps not quite as severe, but certainly a lot of what you have described throughout this pg for one reason and another, and I have to remind myself that this feeling will pass, and that I will love him. I know I will, but there have been times when I have wondered what on earth I am doing.

I also have felt annoyed when he kicks rather than excited. But now I only have 1 week to go, I can honestly say I am getting excited. For the first time in the whole pregnancy.

Please go to the GP, he will not think badly of you. Hormones and life experiences make us feel such different things in pregnancy and you are not a bad mother for feeling like this, but do need to recognise it as real and do something about it, even if talk as you are now, to help put it into some perspective and be listened to.

I just googled it and came up with this website here

Thank you, i didn't realise there is depression before birth, i'm glad i have spoke and don't feel as bad now, i will make an appointment to see a GP just dont really want to see my own one.

Jaynel, your gp will not think badly of you. Antenatal depression is very real and apparently about 10% of people get it (unfortunately for us). You feel like that because you are ill, not because you are a bad person.

It is a total shitter but in my area the only way of helping seems to be anti d's. They have spoken about counselling but the waiting list is so long I would have to go privately to be seen before my baby is born (Im 23 weeks and have been on fluoxetine for 2 weeks). Apparently the meds will not harm the baby, but it might withdraw after birth (which will make it 'jittery' and more likely to cry).

They also suggested a thing called moodgym on tinternet. Im trying to get through it but not managed to get too far as yet.

Good luck with whatever you choose to do.