is anyone else finding it really hard

[frodob]

I'm 25 weeks pregnant and physically ive had a really easy pregnancy (so far touch wood) but emotionally i've been finding it really difficult. im feeling really down a lot of the time and am rowing a lot with my partner. we were only together 3 months when i fell pregnant so obv we are still getting to know each other..but whenever we row i think oh god what am i doing with him?? and im finding it hard to differntiate between what is my hormones making me overreact and what is genuine. to make matters worse i left a long term relationship to be with my new partner and sometimes i think ive just made a terrible decision.
does any of this sound familiar to anyone? the rollercoaster of emotions, feeling low etc.?

I think pregnancy can exaggerate your feelings but I don't think they come out of nowhere. But yes it can make you overreact, make you feel (more) down, emotionally fragile, etc. I know from personal experiecne! Don't make any rash decisions while pregnant or with a young baby!

I was in exactly your position 8 years ago and we're married now with 3 other children, well one of them is still cooking
Anyway basically whilst I was pregnant I did a lot of tongue biting and in all honesty kept out of his way as much as possible, early nights, long baths at the weekend and in the end he slept in the spare room because i was so huge.
Once I'd given birth it was like a dark cloud lifted from over us both and we were so utterly smitten by our baby it was wonderful, the three of us fell in love with each other

Hi there - one of my best friends was in a very similar situation to you. She had only been seeing her much younger boyfriend (she was 40, he 30) for 6 weeks... and she was thinking of splitting up with him on the day she realised she was pregnant! 18 months on with a lovely baby boy they are still working things out but are very much together. The pregnancy was very tough on her, but it all turned out OK. I have had lots of the same feelings as you even with a very, very supportive and long term partner: I am much more clingy and needy than I have ever been so I think it is very common and probably a mixture of hormones and one's personal reaction to such a momentous life change... but must just feel much much worse when everything is still so new. Hang in there, try not to beat yourself up and I hope everything starts to feel a bit better.

Thanks for the replies; it's always very reassuring to know that you're not alone. Sometimes walking around looking at people i think god everyone else looks so happy. am in the only person in the world going through turmoil??

exact same thing happened to me - had left another relationship to be with (now) dh and fell pg after 3 months (not surprising, looking back now, all our time was spent in bed together!)

anyway, we've had some horrible times and some wonderful times, and the main thing is we're still here and expecting another baby in January. Things might feel 'wrong' at the moment but how much of that is guilt/confusion over how your last relationship ended and at getting pg so soon after? i know it was a huge factor for me.

Hi,
I knew my partner 6 weeks before I found out I was pregnant..should know better at my age lol. I had never wanted to have children or be in a serious relationship and was planning on joining RAF. I went through a whole heap of emotions especially as he is going through messy split from ex (they split 5 months before I met him!!) I can honestly say now though that these thoughts of 'what the hell have I done???' went the longer the pregnancy went on and now I couldn't imagine a life without him and can't wait for our baby to be born. Hang on in there as you may just be taking longer to get over the shock of it all.
Good luck

misfit - thank you so much for that message. you're situation sounds almost identical so that gives me lots of comfort. i do feel terrible guilt about ending the last relationship. im going to go to a counsellor at the hospital im attending next week as i think it would help just to be able to get it all off my chest. its hard to talk about it with anyone else.

frodob - i'm so glad to hear you're going to see a counsellor - i think just getting it all off your chest is going to be a huge relief for you - really hope things sort themselves out for you, and you can start feeling positive about your situation.

just a little update (as much for myself as anythin?) to say i went to see the counsellor this morning. It did feel great to get it off my chest at last and to be reassured that what i was feeling was normal. Basically my whole life has changed this year - I live in Ireland and I'm from the UK and i had moved here to be with my ex. So he was my whole reason for being here and now im not with him anymore; so thats hard for a start. She also talked about feeling insecure in pregnancy and not having the security of my old relationhope and my old life ( i dont have the same social circle or live in the same area now), which I had never thought about before. I basically think I need to accept that its OK not to be feeling totally wonderful about things all the time and to accept that my life has changed dramatically over the last year and allow myself time to get used to it. I am exhausted from it all.

I would have thought it quite usual to have "doubts" (sorry can´t think of a better word)when you haven´t known someone very long.

Perhaps you feel you´ve "got to" at least try to make things work, which is added pressure imo.

But a baby is a daunting change & can put pressure on even long term relationships.

I was one of those horrible women who grinned from ear to ear from the moment I discovered I was pregnant!

What are you arguing about?

frodob I kinda of know where you're coming from on the whole "by yourself" thing amd it is really hard.

All my friends live 2 hours away from me - me & dh moved north for work about 12 months ago and we don't know many people or have made very good friends up here. My best mate is pg and a close friend just had 1st dc, both live back home. To see them last weekend and see how much support they had around them made me feel so upset as I don't think anyone will visit and that I will slowly go mad by myself with the bean.

But having said that, I am trying to look forward as this is going to be such a positive change in my life with having a baby and I hope that I can join mum and baby groups to meet people and find friends. This is a really scary time but its also a great time too. You will find freinds in the area - we both will!!