Newly Preggers for the 1ST time and PETRIFIED! I've wanted this for ages how come i feel so uneasy now?

[FlowerBee]

I have wanted to get get pregnant with my DH for the last 5 years - it has pretty much been on my mind since the word go - and now i finally am pregnant (on the first try - god forbid, everyone said it would take 2 months to 2 years !!!!!) i feel strangely petrified about the whole situation. Namely,

1. the responsibility that will LAST MY LIFETIME,
2. the PAIN OF LABOUR,
3. the fact my body and particularly my VAGINA will never be the SAME AGAIN!,
4. The looming threat of MORNING SICKNESS and other delightful pregnancy surprises!,
5. I will be consigned to the uncool "MOTHERS" box from the birth onwards.

Surely there must be some perks??? Please, someone put me out of my misery.

[glasgowlass]

Hi FlowerBee

Firstly, congratulations on being pregnant!

Secondly, the way you are feeling is perfectly natural! Its your mothering instinct kicking in and to be honest the blardy hormones are a lot to do with it. You will cope fine! Being pregnant for the first time is scary but the body is a wonderful machine designed to deal with it.

1. Yes the responsibility will last a lifetime, but the overwhelming love you will feel for your little one will be immense, that little human being at the end, came from you and your DH!

1. Labour is painful, more for some than others, pain relief is available and you will learn all about your options. You will not be allowed to suffer and you may even have a very quick labour! (mine was 8 hours, G&A for a very short time and no cuts or grazes, yes I was lucky but you may be too!)

1. Yes your body will change but think of what an amazing thing it has done! Work at it, I used moisturiser on my bump daily, pelvic floor exercises are vital! I have a few wee stretch marks(now fading) and didnt require any stitches. I see my stretch marks now and look at them with a sense of pride!

1. You may not get MS, you may get it. Its one of those things that not everyone suffers with. Pregnancy does bring a whole list of "delightful" wee symptoms, but keep telling yourself its only for 40 weeks, 42 maximum. The end result is worth everything and so much more!

1. Being a mother is the coolest thing in the world! I have more friends now than before and still get nights out etc so being a mother does not tie you to the home, yes you will change, you will be more responsible but you will also enjoy your time "off" more!

FWIW we tried and failed for 8 years TTC our DS and when I fell pregnant after resigning myself to the fact it just was not going to happen, I felt exactly the same as you. I now miss being pregnant, I loved it! I miss him kicking me and just how wonderful it felt to have this wee person, growing, developing and thriving in me. However, now I get to watch him change every day, develop his own personality and I am so unbelievably proud of all his wee achievements.

So, try to relax, not worry, let your body do its amazing job and really really enjoy your pregnancy because it really does go so fast (until the last few weeks then it drags-sorry) and the best of luck to you!

Violet Congratulations on your pregnancy! You must be overjoyed! It will do no harm to go see your GP but they will prob ask you to make appt with a midwife attached to your surgery but it is good to have it documented in your notes that you are pregnant. Good luck!

[violetbubbles]

Thanks glasgowlass - will make an appointment today!

[lucy101]

I got pregnant almost on the first go too.. and think that means it is a little more of a shock. I have been through all sorts of phases of fear etc. but think that is really just adjusting to the seriousness of how life will change and the new responsibilities. If you are the worrying type I don't know how you could avoid it! But... now at 20 weeks... and having still got dreadful ms and now probably spd... I am incredibly excited by it all and actually feel it might be the best thing I have ever done...