Just for reference......

[AnotherHelen]

I kind of get the impression that as a whole most ladies would do anything to avoid a c-section, i know with your first its preferable to have the planned natural birth you want, but with subsequant babies, even when some mums have already had a c-section would still do ANYTHING to avoid another - maybe im being an airhead but i was just wandering why do women fear/hate them so much, i have never actually given birth vaginally (almost did) but have had 2 sections and have another planned in september so im very curious as to what the deal is - im considering vbac, and need some help with decisions! xxx

For me the desire to have a VBAC had a practical and an emotional aspect.

Practically, I had a 22-month-old at home and no close family etc. living close by, so I was keen to get home as quickly as possible and to be able to lift my dd1, drive, etc.

Emotionally, I had a slightly 'unreal' experience with dd1. Was hospitalised from 27 weeks and had an elective section at 36 weeks. Had no experience of labour at all. Also had some difficulties after the birth as dd1 was small and had feeding difficulties (not caused by the c-section, but all added to the unreal experience, iykwim). I definitely do not think that a c-section is some kind of second-class experience. Actually mine was fab. It was more everything that came with it (in my case, which is obviously not the same for everyone) - the 10 weeks in hospital, having to go home without my dd, not being able to breastfeed, not being able to go to Mothercare and buy the stuff we needed for her, not being at home to decorate her bedroom, that kind of thing. I just wanted a more 'normal' experience the 2nd time round. I'd have been happy to have another section if I'd gone overdue. But I'd have been able to plan for that if it had happened. It was the having everything taken out of my hands that I objected to.

Btw, one factor for me was that my reason for having the section first time round was a 'non-repeating' thing (placenta praevia).

Good luck, whatever kind of birth you decide to go for. Remember it's the end result that counts. Oh and (just scrolling through other replies before hitting 'post') whichever way your child arrives it is a 'real' birth, you are a 'real' mother. I have had both experiences and they are jointly the best experiences of my life. I would never rate one above the other, although a VBAC was right for me, 2nd time around.

I accept that some women do feel the need to give birth vaginally, but think that is partly down to commenst such as velcrobotts which make them think that they have in some way failed by having a c-section.
I've had 2, the first an emergency after 2 days of non productive induction, the second a medically necessary elective. I didn't have to work hard for either - preparation for the first was 2 days of lying in an uncomfortable bed desperately hoping that my twinging contractions would get stronger and more painful, and for the second a delicious meal out the night before, lovely night in my own bed, comfy taxi to hospital and a short walk to theatre. No work at all, but I still felt a profound sense of achievement that I'd grown this little ball of baby, safely carried him through 8.5 months of hell and put myself into the capable hands of somebody who could safely bring him out of me.

It is major surgery, but when it's necessary, or even just preferred, as long as the mother has made an informed choice, it's the right one. Just as a VBAC may be the right choice for you. Search for VBAC in posts from pupuce to get a very positive view of them - which she manages to give without in any way belittling those of us who didn't "give birh"

I had a c section with my ds. It was an extremely painful recovery, I now see this as a sense of achievement. I dont think I have felt such pain and discomfort, not sure what was worse-the contractions or the recovery. I had a c section through no choice of my own- my ds had irregular heart beat, I had high blood pressure and ds was breech(didnt know he was until reached point of no return).The whole expierience was traumatic, but now I look at the positive side- I am intact down below- if you know what I mean!!

Well i have to say when i read velcrobotts reply it did hit a nerve, and i personally feel that a c-section IS giving birth, but we should all be entitled to our own opinion even if people dont agree. i have trawled through hours of vbac info but so much of it contradicts itself i get so im going round in circles with it all and so i figured the best thing to do was to ask the REAL experts which are REAL people and not just medical statistics, im really comforted that so many of you feel also that c-sections are giving birth too, as some people dont think it is and it cant help but make you feel a little bit like an under-achiever - well it did me, despite my overwhelming love and pride over both my sons! I am only 26 weeks so i have some time to play with yet but its such a controversial subject that its good to 'see' what so many of you think!! xxx

I gave birth vaginally first time round after only four hours of labour. I am currently pregnant again and hope to do the same this time round. Because I didn't have a long drawn out labour and had no complications the first time round the thought of a bad labour or C-section this time round is very daunting for me. (Also have DD who will be 20 months when new baby comes and nobody close by to help out other than Dp) If I need a c-section or any intervention at all I wouldn't refuse, or consider it not giving birth and I certainly wouldn't see myself as a failure for not having the same birth experience as before. The most important thing is that baby gets here safe and well by which method that is achieved at the end of the day doesn't really matter

LOL at Velcrobott... am sure its been said but how on earth is my dd here if I didn't give birth ??

As others have said, AnotherHelen, I had a c-s following 3 days of labour going nowhere.... Am undecided as to whether I would (at some point in the distant future) go for a VBAC or an elective... I would have to have a c-s if I had the same problems as this time I would think (IUGR) but if I didn't then presume I would have the choice. Think I would like to have a go at VBAC (If only because people seem to suggest to me I had the easy option with a c-s and I'd like to see for myself, - awkward am I) but if it came to it, I would have no problems with having a further c-s. At the end of the day, its having a healthy baby and mother that counts not how it comes out. I often wonder whether being able to do a relatively risk free c-section now adays (realise there are risks but not like it used to be) is evolutions way of finding a better way of getting a baby out !!

I think when i go i would like to give viginal birth, I have heard alot of people saying the c-section is painfull after and you cant drive for so many weeks.. I would like to get it over and done with pushing but in a case of having to have one for medical reasons ya sure wouldnt think twice.
I think once you have carried your baby for 9 months, it doesnt matter what you have may it be c-section or viginal birth. You have done the hardest part by conceiving in the first place (for some anyway)

Velcrobott sounds just like my m-i-l who told me that "you can't be a real mother unless you have given birth vaginally" . I had a section with ds (emergency after 2 and a half days) and have been strongly advised to have one this time. Neither dh nor I have spoken to my m-i-l after her comment.....

I think velcrobott just worded her message wrongly and meant to say something along the lines of 'the feeling of achievment after all those hours of hard work is like no other' of course some of us have the crappest time in the universe or an unexpected problem that makes it impossible to give birth vaginally and of course you're still giving birth and no one in their right mind would say a C-section isn't hard work! Stop being silly!

I must say I don't really agree with elective C-sections unless obviously there's a problem with trying to give birth naturally. But I can see why VBACs are really quite a brave and scary thing to do.

A c-section is definately giving birth and the reasons why don't come into it.
A lot of women have no choice but to have a section and go through just as much as someone who has a vaginal birth.
I personally would only have one as a last resort esp as a friend of mine hadsevere complications with an elective c-section and ended up having a hysterectomy at the young age of 25yrs.
At the end of the day you do what suits you and what is best for you and your baby.
Whatever way a baby comes into the world it's had the wonderful experience of birth, I'm sure the baby won't mind which way it arrives into it's mothers arms

Personally the thought of an epidrual needle is more terrifying then anything to do with vaginal birth... I think I'd be blubbing hysterically before they got to the section bit! There is no easy way out of giving birth.

I have had 2 emergency sections - first included a 16 hour labour, 2 hours of pushing and then a c-section under General Anaesthetic. It was awful. I would have loved to give birth naturally. Second was another (less traumatic) emergency c-section with epidural this time. VBAC is not an option for this final baby due in a few weeks. The Royal Free will not even allow me to try. Yes, I would have loved vaginal births - but it was not to be. I have two gorgeous healthy sons and I know that the right decisions were made for the health of me and my children. I do not feel a failure and have given birth twice. I would DEFINITELY have felt a failure if I had stuck out for that natural birth I so desparately wanted and something had happened to me or my child as a result. Not everything in life turns out the way we want, but I feel massively proud for having 'built' and delivered safely two beautiful little boys!!

well said, mommy d

Just come back to this as many of you were offended by my comments (sorry for that... I am hesiatating to post more as it might make more people sad or cross, that was not my intention)...
Just to say that this is what I feel for me, I have no problem with other people' s birth, we all make our choices and who am I to say what is right or wrong for someone else?
the question was : why women hate sections?
I replied for myself... why I hate sections for me not what I feel about sections in general (as I said they can be vital or important to others).... who am I to say what is right for others? If some of you feel that I criticised (or belittled) your choice well that's because you are assuming something I did not say... I did say "for me" in bold.
My sister had 2 sections and she is very happy with that, I think that's fab. She knows how I feel and she knows it is my personal view, she also know I don't belittle her deliveries in anyway... they were right for her for medical and personal reasons.... gosh....

And Piglit I have never thought that, it didn't cross my mind... of course you are a mother which ever way you had your baby and that includes adoption !

I would much rather give birth as naturally as possible with as few drugs as possible because I am more scared of how I will behave under the influence of pethedine As for a C/section, I wouldnt have one unless it was needed for medical reasons because I saw ladies who had given birth that way and they loked really uncomfortable, and in more pain than the ladies who delivered vaginally. The way I see it is that with a normal labour and delivery you get the pain BEFORE the birth, but with a C/section you get the pain AFTER. Either way you have still given birth after 9 long months of being pregnant,one minute feeling blooming, the next minute feeling crap. ITS STILL A ASIVE ACHIEVMENT

Piglit
I cant believe your mum in law actually had the nerve to talk such bollocks to you... If you cant be a proper mum because you didnt give birth vaginally then obviously she cant be a proper gran can she!

Hello all

I'm having my second child in September. I had a c-section first time (emergency after 15 hours labour - with epidural)& I'm thinking of a second as I have a small pelvis and normal delivery will be diffilcult. However everyone I tell tells me I'm just too posh to push! A c-section is not an easy option you pay for it later with 6 weeks of discomfort rather that 1 or 2. I'm also feeling anxious about the birth and maybe its a case of better the devil you know! What do you think? Redhelenxx

I have never given birth vaginally much to my dissapopintment i would have loved to have had easy drug free vaginal delivery with both my babies (who wouldnt?) but unfortunatley i am a small 5ft size 8 tiddler and my first son was 10lb!! so one of us would have certainly (if not both) died if it wasnt for the c-section i had, im sure there are little people around that have given birth to huge babies which i was damn well trying thats for sure, but ds1 got very unhappy and had to come out, but my experience of c-sections is not too bad, my first took me a good couple of months to recover from fully and i found it far more painful than my second, my second was easier and i felt more 'myself' alot quicker if i have to have another i wont be too worried as i know my aunty who had a vaginal delivery with her dd had a long and painful recovery as she had lots of stiches and her dd managed to drag and tear part of her cervix (or something, may have the details slightly wrong!) as she was born, so its just the way birth goes i think, - you never can tell how it will work out! and all the people that have had great vaginal deliveries are fortunate that it worked out that way for them, as it so easily can go the other way! sorry, loooooong one! i talk too much! xxx

Redhelen - do what is right for you and your baby. I really sympathise with you re the comments made by other people. My consultant has advised me to have a c-section in November (my ds was born by emergency section). I have accepted that advice and I am already booked in. However, dh and I are only telling a handful of people that I will be having a so called "elective" and are sticking to the line that db is due at the end of Nov. For some reason some people think it's appropriate to comment on the way other people give birth. Until someone has been through the terrifying experience of a traumatic labour leading to an emergency section these people can stick their opinions where the sun don't shine.

Piglit

Thanks for your comments. Your right it's only our business how we have our babies and if your DR/Hospital support it - thats fine!

I just can't imagine having the energy for a full labour - as the pregancy has been tough and I'm no spring chicken!!Take care & keep cool!

I'm not dreading my third cs at all......

It's just the way I do it

I hope people do think I'm too posh to push -

unfortunately not, just boooooring medical reasons.......