What is going on in my head, what do you think of this?

[sunburntats]

So, the job of my dreams has come up, its brill, im going to apply.

Starting Clomid in January but recently i have been having twinges of doubt.

I am 40 next year, trying for a baby for about 4 years now.

i have had PND after ds (6) bad PND, ds didnt sleep through the night till he was 4, difficult child, i was a walking corpse for 1st 3 years of his life.

Im questioning am i able to do it physically and mentally.

Im so confused. After wanting and feeling ready for so long for another baby, now i am not so sure.

whats up with me??

Plenty of people have babies at 40+ and are fine. Only you can really know how fit and healthy you are and if you can combine the job with caring for a child.

If you are offered the job what will your maternity rights be? Are they workable, would being pregnant effect them giving you the job/keeping you on?

I would say you have no idea if you will get pregnant so don't put off applying just because you might. If you are not due to start the Clomid until January then if you get the job you will probably be doing it before you start taking it and will have gained a better and clearer idea of if you want to proceed.

Good luck.

Its not the 40 thing that is an issue in my head, its the awful experience the first time round with DS.

I need to speak to DH, see what he says but i know that he really wants another.