Just venting about my emotional day

[loopylou2]

Hi all,

I discovered about 5 days ago that I'm pg- did a home test x2 they both came up pos. Based on last period I'm somewhere between 8 and 12 weeks but am not 100% sure yet.

I am waiting for a gp app on Monday to confirm this- it feels like the more time goes by the further away Monday runs. I am going out of my mind with impatience and in the meantime am terrified every time I breathe/ eat/ drink anything just in case its harmful.

so today for some reason I woke up early to pee (I know that's normal) then went into town for a haircut and then met my boyfriend in a shop to buy some new jeans. Size 16 btw (I'm normally a 14) because my tummy looks like I have a permanent case of bad carbs bloat recently.

As we were queueing to pay bf made a joke that if he ate a few more pies he would be able to fit into them too. Normally I would laugh this off - I'm not precious about my weigh- but I immediately let him know it wasn't funny . By the time I left the shop I was in tears and he took a good 10 minutes comforting me.

I am not exactly showing but my clothes all feel tight and I feel like I'm not pregnant, just a chubby woman. NOT feeling particularly glam as my skin has gone pale and spotty.

When we walked home I needed 5 mins quiet time as I had worked myself up into such a tizz, worrying whether the foetus had a heartbeat or not- ie is it alive in there? Is it doing ok? why isn't there any way of telling FFS?!

This evening we went to a restaurant for dinner before going to the cinema to see up. The restaurant took 45 minutes to deliver starters and we had to cancel the rest of the meal in order to get to the cinema on time (we had pre-booked tickets). I held my tongue to the waiter for fear I would have a complete bitch fit at him.

Then we went in to see that new film UP and I huffed hrough the first 5 minutes and then found myself silently crying not once but twice through the film.

I got home, had an episode of loose stools (no doubt caused by the lack of proper food and just eating popcorn) then freaked out about that and searched the internet on whether that would do any damage to the pregnancy or not. Eventually I was reassured, but I stumbled across something about not eating celery during pregnancy....

...and guess what I was nibbling on at the time? f**king celery.

I know there is not likely much anybody can say to this day except perhaps that I need to chill out a bit. But I am just exhausted because I am normally a very balanced person and I am so deeply scared, I so desperately want Monday morning to be here so my GP can tell me everything is going fine. Everything is affecting me all over the place.

Add to this I am now going to bed and my boobs really feel funny and that makes me grumpy as heck even though I'm grateful for the symptoms really.... argh! just so confused!

anyway people just wanted to mouth off- poor boyfriend has heard this once already and we havent told anybody else yet so needed to let off steam somewhere

If you have read this far thank you for your amazing patience! x

Hi Loopylou,

Congratulations. Just thought I'd let you know you are not alone in feeling like this.

I am 16 weeks and not long got over the weepy emotional/angry stage. Poor DP has had to put up with so many bad moods and huffs over nothing. My SIl is due 3 days before me and she spent about 6 weeks in constant floods of tears, over anything!!

As you said be grateful of the symptoms. But I don't want to put a dampner on things but my GP wasn't very helpful, I went in told him I was pregnant and he said, ok I'll send your stuff off and away I went. it wasn't until my first scan that I felt reassured. So please don't get your hopes up for GP (Hopefully yours will be much more helpful than mine).

Ah, bless you Loopylou, you are not alone, as Iola says, I too am about 8 weeks preggers and I am constantly trying to do positive thinking and not worry about how the bean is doing in there and will it be ok, and when can I tell everyone, and does it look like i'm fat...bless my DP he has had to cope with some complete screaming fits from me getting upset about very minor housework issues, and crying at pathetic things. Its the hormones I know, but I do think it is a big thing to come to terms with. Being tired can make things worse. When I realized that it was ok to go to bed at nine and have big naps in the day I have felt much better. Thanks for sharing, I don't feel so bonkers myself now xx

completely understand you feeling vulnerable, but please let go of the googling re what you can eat etc. The Americans are ridiculously paranoid about this so if you find an American website you'll be told to stop eating most things. The UK recommendations are here, don't worry too much!

Hi. First of all congratulations! Second, you are perfectly normal to be feeling so emotional and to be worrying about every little thing to do with the baby. I was the same with all 3 of mine, an awful lot of ladies are.

The bloating is also perfectly normal, most of the ladies on my antenatal thread when I had dd went through the same thing and we all thought we were showing early till it started to settle down (about 16 weeks in my case iirc).

Uncomfortable boobs is another common sign and that too settles down for most women.

All these things are indicators that you have a good strong pregnancy. I have to agree with thaliablogs as well - step away from Google! You can always find evidence to back up your worst fears if you google hard enough.

Those little beans are incredibly hardy you know, I had an intestinal blockage at just 6 week pg with a seriously raised temp and loss of consciousness and despite that I now have a beautiful 8 month old dd sitting here with me. In my case I paid for a private viability scan at 7 weeks just to set my mind at rest and the relief at seeing a little fluttering heartbeat on the screen was immense. It cost £70 but was well worth it and I would have paid double that at the time.

Good luck, try to relax and enjoy your pregnancy, its such a special time, try to treasure it if you can.