Am I mad ... to consider getting pregnant again so soon?????

[emmx]

My little man is 5 mths old and is absolutely wonderful, but my hubby has started getting broody again (!!?). I had my first period the week before last (and pretty sure I ovulated prior to it) and when I told him I had my period he said he was almost disappointed and would love another little one..... and now he's mentioned it I can't get it out of my mind! In an ideal world I would prefer to wait, not least because I had an emc and also so I can spend one to one time with my boy first. My quandry however is that

a) I'll be 37 in January
b) I have endometriosis and PCOS and it took over 2 yrs to conceive the first time (I didn't ovulate for years and for roughly ten years I was on the pill continuously without a break to manage the endo).

If I wait I'm scared that by the time I feel its actually the right time it'll be too late because of the above reasons, but I'm also aware that you are advised to wait at least one year/18 mths after a c-section.

I'm also concerned about how I would cope with such a young toddler (as he would be) and a newborn. I find it difficult to get out before lunchtime with just one baby! I have no family support nearby and my DH works really long hours in London - up early/home v.late. But... my boy is so wonderful and we feel so lucky to have him that it would just be doubly fantastic if he were to have a little bruv/sis to play with and for us to love!

I just wondered what experiences others had - how soon did others get pregnant again, how did you cope with two very young children, etc.

Hope I don't sound too mad! Thanks

emmx, not speaking from personal experience, however my BIL and SIL had their two DC's only 12 months apart and things have turned out perfectly (she had a cs too, both times). The DC's are like sisters, and very happy together. SIL said it has worked out better to have them both so close in age. Good luck!

Do you mean like twins tigerbear ?

Oh yes!

I have PCOS and had fertility treatment first time around. Second time around I conceived very quickly, so don't fret on that.

I'd say go for it.

Dh and I knew we wanted another within a few weeks of having dd. Dh wanted to try straight away (seriously - when dd was 6 wks!). We started trying when she was about 9 months old and are still trying over a year later with no luck so far...

I know a few people with small age gaps, including 2 people with just over 12 months between their dcs - they're all coping fine. Hard work, but worth it, and all that. One of them had a emcs first time and had her second 14 months later by vbac (she actually said afterwards she preferred the caesarian!)

Do it. I know people with tiny age gaps, but they love it

I waited and we are going to have a 2 ½ year gap, I wish I?d cracked on sooner TBH, I?m over 35 and have heard of friends wanting more children but not being able because they were older, so I?m feeling lucky to be pregnant again. There is talk of us having 2+ , if that is the case I certainly won?t be waiting so long next time.

It will be blooming hard work, but then it is whenever, at least when you are early pregnant and feeling tired and sick your 1st will still be having day time naps. You?ll have a good excuse to get yourself a nice double buggy so potentially you could contain your oldest if you need.

As for the c section advise, I do have friends who have not waited the year/18 months. I?ve also noticed that a lot of childbirth related advice is very generalised and given to be convenient for the medical establishment and not necessarily with the mothers best interest at heart, I don?t mean to be reckless, but I would try and find out further facts and reassurance if you need from an independent source such as an independent midwife?.

We have just started TTC, and was amazed at the appearance of AF this week, if I'm honest. Feel completely balls too, if i'm homest.

It will be hard work but then any gap is still hard work. As you say you have possible issues with age, endo, pcos etc so for me I would be happier to risk it being very hard work than not having a baby at all?

Just bear in mind that toddlers are completely different creatures to babies. They dont sit still, they have tantrums, they get into all sorts of problems. Not to put you off at all but just to consider this so its not a shock!

I wouldn't sweat on the not being able to get out of the house bit. First time round with me, I struggled to make it to the post natal group for 10am. Thought I was really busy. Have 3 now and newborn ds2 no hindrance to making it to school for 9am drop off. I do however have 2.2 years between dd and ds1, so when ds1 was born, had 8 weeks with both all the time, then dd started 2 sessions of pre-school. But she also had a gym class each week, and mums from the post-natal group met regularly, so we got gradually more into a routine of getting up and out. Preparation is the key - changing bag packed and ready the night before and the world is then your oyster