DH having very negative reaction to unplanned pregnancy.

[HappyButWorried]

I have recently discovered I am pregnant with DC4. It was not planned, but I am thrilled. DH, on the other hand, really really does not want another child.

He was always adamant that he wanted 3 dcs, and has been muttering about a vasectomy for a while now. But in the meantime this has happened. I was not so sure, open to more dcs but also could accept we would stop after dc3. I have had 3 c-sections so have some concerns about another but deep down I think I always wanted another and was so happy when I found out about this baby.

But DH seems so angry, won't talk to me about it and just seems to have shut himself off. I'm so worried we are going to have huge problems in our relationship because of this, and that he won't accept this child. I haven't told anyone I am pregnant, and I feel that although I really want this child our relationship could really suffer because we are not on the same page about it.

I would really like to hear from any of you who have had a similar experience.

Thanks.

Didn't take dh long either probably about 3 months

Oh you are all lovely ladies....great to hear all the positive stories. Once again sorry for not getting back sooner - internet has been down since yesterday morning.

No we did not have contraceptive failure, so he did know what could happen. We live abroad and have moved this summer so DH hasn't found time for the snip, however tbh I haven't been encouraging him as I did want another child and was hoping he might change his mind.

We've had a good weekend, busy with kids so not much talking. DH even managed a little joke about his "super swimmers".

ah happybutworried that great news sounds like he is really coming around to the idea of dc4

Happy sounds like its sinking in. I know its a struggle but I really do think time helps these men. Hang on in there.

Will try really hard to give him the time he needs and hope he talks to me soon.

Am feeling very emotional so not sure how patient I can be, when part of me wants to moan that I'm feeling sick etc. I feel if I say it he'll just remind me it was what I wanted. Just cooked roast chicken and was looking forward to the family meal until I saw it all on my plate and realised I couldn't eat it! Some suspicious looks from 8 yr old dd1, who has said recently she doesn't want any more siblings....!