Can being extremely upset alot when pregnant be harmful to your baby?

[BarbieLovesKen]

Im almost 20 weeks and myself and dh are going through a very difficult patch.

I found out he cheated on me at 9 weeks pregnant and have been pretty much very upset since.

We've been fighting alot , both our faults, I will admit completely to being very very arguementative, bitchy, hard work, overly emotional and all round just plain difficult.

The arguements get very very bad and usually end up with me crying, I dont mean a few tears - its gone to my uncontrollable sobbing, shaking, finding it difficult to breath and panicing. My dh is unaffected by this, doesnt attempt to stop it and shouts alot.

I dont want to talk about the relationship but basically want to know what effect this is having on my unborn baby?

Im completely wracked with guilt about this all going on when Im pregnant and my main concern at the moment is the baby.

Common sense tells me that this all is having an obvious negative efffect on baby but I'm looking for some hard factual information that I can also pass on to dh in the hopes that some of this will stop. I hope Im wrong (that it is having no effect) and would happily be proven so..

Thank you so much for reading and for any help you could offer us x

Oranges, as strange as it probably sounds, it does really help - all these stories.

mamaLazarou - thank you for such a lovely post x

My 2nd pg (12 years ago - oh god I feel ancient!) was awful thanks in (large) part to DH and and his unerring ability to ignore me and all I was going through with the pregnancy (placenta previa and lots of hopsital stays - where he didn't visit me once!). So I feel lots of empathy for you ladies and just wanted to offer a virtual hug of solidarity.

I can't really offer much in the way of practical advice other than encouraging you to continue seeking emotional support elsewhere - even if it is 'only' online at somewhere like MN. I was so alone in my predicament so it gladdens me that the internets - with all it's capacity to be awful - brings communities such as these together and provides comfort in a way that wasn't available to me back then.

Love to all of you who are struggling xxx

Really sorry to hear about the troubles you've been having

Only had time to read OP and first few comments (joys of a toddler!! ) so sorry if I repeat/am similar to others but with my 1st pg, relationship went wrong etc, I cried myself to sleep every night for the 1st 3 months and still quite regularly after that...my DD is 3 now and a happy, lively little girl, and indeed was a very contented baby as well.

Now pg with 2nd DC, I do notice that if DP & I have arguments and I shout/get stressed baby starts kicking me (!) so think it must have some effect...just hope I'm lucky enough to have another contented baby at the end of this!

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy, please dont add guilt about the effects of stress on your baby to the list of things you have to worry about...sure, in an ideal world we'd all have happy care-free pregnancies but reality is we do the best we can, sure your baby will be just fine hugs