VERY personal question here...1st timer wondering how 'down there' is afterwards...!!

[brightonbleach]

don't reply if you're horrified at my asking please!! 1st timer, 31weeks, was heading to a c-section they were telling me cos of diabetes and breech bubba but he has turned now and is a normal size so far, so they are talking natural birth to me now. I haven't got my head around this yet (!) and am half excited half scared... and, is this a ridiculous or selfish thing to ask people but I am 36 and wondering whether 'ahem - down below' will recover or is it as some naysayers are telling me "It'll never be the same" gulp Sorry if this is a horrible question, any experiences shared or honest comments welcomed!! obviously I'm mostly focussing on the baby and the best birth for him - but theres a teeeeeeeeny bit of me wondering about this personal question for myself having never done it before...teeny tiny....!! best wishes all.

Not read all the thread but mine is pretty much as it was pre-pg and I had a LOT of intervention at DD's birth.

There is still a very faint episiotomy scar but you really do have to know where to look to notice it.

oh Monkey74 -I'd forgotton about the vulval varicous veins - thank's for reminder - what a joy

Episiotomy with my oldest child. Stitches healed perfectly and was able to resume marital activity 10 days afterwards - no pain, did feel a bit different for another couple of weeks. Did pelvic floor exercises frequently - never any incontinence thank goodness.

No stitches with the other 2 births. Still no incontinence and no sexual problems. I've never looked at the area. There may be a visible scar but honestly I don't care as function-wise there were no problems at all.

on another thread... feme pad

Oh yeah never look at your fanjo in the last few weeks of pregnancy - it's hideous. Mine looked like I'd done ten rounds with Mike Tyson!

It did recover though!

wow, look what I started! Thanks y'all, I feel faintly reassured haha, its all inevitable isn't it anyway and part of the fun... its like all the other things that no-one can tell you about pregnancy / birth etc etc., you can't really know what your experience is like till its upon you! Dug out the pelvic floor exercise advice DVD a friend gave me recently today - now I know why!

and thanks for all the good luck wishes, sending everyone in similar boats good, happy, healthy vibes too...

Mine was pretty much the same after dd, who was 6lb 10 although sex was uncomfy for a few months, not too bad after ds 8lb 10, felt pretty much the same and sex didn't hurt, but suddenly about a year and a half later everything sagged and it feels even worse now I am pregnant again. It doesn't really cause me any problems as such, just feels uncomfy at times and have horrible piles. So I reckon that age has quite a lot to do with it as well as childbirth. Also I will be doing my pelvic floor exercises religiously after this one, unlike last time or the time before when I did a few token ones!! Feels like there is more point to it this time as it won't be stretched with a forth baby unless there is a major contraceptive error

OH MY GOD . You absolute bunch of bast*rds. I thought I had officially ran out of things to worry about but no, in you step with your kebabs in road accidents and mysterious flaps. You have got to be kidding me! Unlike brightonbleach, I am vain and im not bloody sorry about it, my ladygarden had better not do these things or im going on the next series of designer vagina's. I had a C sect last time and was all hoping for a tree hugging, water home birth this time but nooooooo, give me a section any day, I have enough horrible body parts (boobs, legs, shit hair) to moan about, I don't need any more to add to my list

Feels the same; even looks the same - no stiches first baby; a few with the second....

Hope everything goes well for you!

1 ds, had an episiotomy (sp?) and ventouse. tbh, sex hurt (felt tight and painful) for about 10 months after birth. but then, the time it started feeling more comfortable, was around the time i stopped breastfeeding and my libido came back. not sure what caused the painful sex to be honest.
never been brave enough to investigate too much down there since and dh is too brave to comment!
BUT, sex is what it used to be now

dear brightonbleach - you'll be fine, just do hundreds of pelvic squeezes whilewatching telly/eating custard creams.
and a nice thing my midwife told me on first birth - the first few times you have to wee after giving birth do it in the shower with water running over your fanny, it takes the sting out of it.. good luck!