Talk to me about co-sleeping

[Southwestwhippet]

I'm 18 +5 with first. Really would like to co-sleep, I've always had new puppies in bed with me as it seems cruel to leave them on their own when they are so small. Kinda feeling the same about new baby. Also, mum did it with babies 3, 4 & 5 and swears by it. She says it is lots easier and baby is calmer too.

However, I feel really nervous about it. What if I squish him/her by accident? Also, my DP is very cuddly in bed and I tend to wriggle away from him when I get over-heated. I'm worried I'll wriggle onto baby or push him/her onto floor or something.

Am I worrying too much, is it different when the baby actually comes? Or should I suggest bed for me and baby and seperate bed for (poor) DP in the first few days? Or is it madness to even think about doing it at all?

All constructive answers/thoughts/opinions/experiences welcome! Thanks

Co-sleeping is the best parenting decision I have made so far - despite thinking it was a load of hippy-shit when pregnant.

We have a double bed and a single bed pushed together - DD & I sleep on double and DH on single and we are all very happy with the arrangement - but then DH & I have never been cuddly sleeper.

DD is now 10 months and I just cannot imagine her sleeping in another room!

I co-slept with my third baby, but shoved DH into a different bed ! Think there are rules to follow (baby needs own covers, not your duvet, don't co-sleep if a smoker or been drinking etc)

It made BF a lot easier and I had much more sleep than I did with my other babies who were in cots. I found that I did not MOVE when asleep with baby - even in my sleep I was rigid , didn't bother me though. It was jut funny that I'd wake up in exactly the same position taht I'd gone to sleep in!

BabyG is now 9 mo and in his own cot, but in the same room and I haven't had any trouble transferring him over. I would definitely co-sleep again.

I was single when had my first DC so co-slept without the annoying partner in bed!! I loved it, DD never fell out, I never squished her etc, altho as she got a bit bigger I did find that she dominated most of the bed/positioned herself to be right in the middle so I was nearly pushed out!!

Currently 21 weeks pregnant with 2nd DC, like you I have a DP who is cuddly in bed which makes me overheat...still planning to co-sleep tho (with me in middle so DP cant crush little one, lol, as have read/heard that the man tends to be less aware of the baby when they're asleep whereas so long as the mother hasnt been drinking/taken prescription or non-prescription drugs etc then should naturally be bit more aware of her baby) so hoping it works...

Not very helpful, sorry, as dont actually have any experience of dealing with 3 of us in the bed yet (well it'll prob end up being 4 as DD will no doubt get jealous & want to come into bed for cuddles in the early hours...note to self...need to buy bigger bed!! )

Will watch this thread with interest, hope you get some more answers!

Lol, ok 2 replies already while I was dithering writing mine!!

Thanks everyone, this seems very positive so far. I like the idea of pushing a single bed against a double. Good luck MiniMilk, let me know how it goes with your cuddly DP.

i was def not going to do it when i was preg but now she's here (4 weeks) she demands it! she starts in the moses basket- for her first sleep - 5 hrs then when she wakes for a feed she will only settle on my chest - then i usually drift off (without realising)so i end up co sleeping accidently for at least 1 hr a night anyway! i wish i'd have bought one of those cots which attatch to your bed now! loads of ppl reccommend them on here

Pushing a single bed against the double does sound like a good idea in principle (esp as we have a single bed in spare room/new baby's room which will need to move into loft at some point anyway) but just know that my DP will see that as me pushing him out of 'his' bed...he already predicts that he's gonna feel resentful of me breastfeeding as it means I'll get more quality time with baby & is something he cant do! would be a good solution if your DP agrees to it tho

Read all the guidelines but you'll be fine - you won't squish your baby! That almost never happens - and when it does, it is not to regularly, sensibly co-sleeping mums who have observed the guidelines. Having your baby close, you naturally sleep very lightly and take care of them in your sleep. It's amazing the things you notice in your sleep.

I remember the first time my daughter vomited, she was 10 months old & by that stage I was comfortable enough to turn my back on her in my sleep. She was on one side of the bed, I was on the other, facing away, and suddenly woke up, just "knew" she was about to vomit and sat her up just in time, split seconds before the vomit came out. She hadn't been ill beforehand, wasn't doing anything particularly weird - I guess it's just one particularly good example of the kind of thing co-sleeping mums do pick up on, even in their sleep. I also find I notice her temperature when it's on the way up as well, things like that.

Best to keep baby on your side (with a bed bar, bedside cot or whatever) at least for the first few months until a) he/she is bigger & stronger & has head control and b) you get some kind of indication of how responsive a sleeper your dp is. My husband is naturally a very deep sleeper, but is also very responsive when baby is around. By about 5 months, we felt comfortable with her in the middle.

We have always kept her on top of the covers with her own covers/bag or whatever though, and with her head well away from our pillows.

You won't regret it - it is so reassuring & so much easier!

Really useful book about co-sleeping and various ways of doing it:

Three in a bed by Deborah Jackson (I think, without looking it up).

Co-sleeping is fab, helps you bf and sleep, helps baby. My dd wouldn't sleep any other way.

When you are ready to move them out then try No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley for gentle, happy tips to help them sleep on their own.

co-sleeping is brilliant and makes life sooo much easier.

plus imho its the natural thing to do! did cave daddies carve out a separate cave for cave babies to sleep in??

its a babys primal instinct to be near mummy at all times for protection and feeding.

I didn´t do it,but Moses basket was next to me so that I only had tosit up & pick baby out for breastfeeding.

My friend has a Snugglenest to avoid any rolling on baby incidents. It only costs about £30 and you put it between your pillows. Is just a mat with padding on the sides and at the top. I'm planning on doing the same when my lo arrives in January. I think you can use it up tp about 4 months.

Although I have enjoyed cs with ds I would say give it some serious thought. Ds is nearly 10mo and still in our bed and doesnt sleep through the night and wont sleep in his own cot it can be hard. Although I dont regret my decision to cs, I regret doing it for this long.

DD is 19 days old, and we are semi co-sleeping in that we deliberately bought a cot with one side that folds down completely so the cot butts up to our bed, making it like an extension of our bed IYSWIM. She starts off in her cot, but i will often move her into the main bed for breastfeeding. So much easier than having to lift her in and out of a conventional cot (essential, as i have 2 prolapsed discs in my back and she was a c-section delivery), and more sleep for all concerned, compared with when i had my DS 4 years ago. The cot was slightly dearer than others on the market, but totally worth every penny IMO

thank you everyone for all the hints and advice.

I am going to buy that book on amazon. Sounds really helpful. I am looking forward to co-sleeping now

I LOVE co-sleeping. Also one of my best parenting decisions. The greatest risks are your bedding and baby overheating or baby getting trapped in gaps or against wall
rather than you rolling on baby.
Google for the UNICEF bedsharing leaflet for guidelines.

We invested in a bigger bed second time round and didn't even bother with a cot in the house. She then moved to mattress on the ground in a child proofed room with a gate on the door.

At various times I have used a bed rail, foam supports and something called a 'humanity family bed' which is a huge bed roll thingy used by co-sleeping families (and scarily overpriced).