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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

did anyone else go to their scans alone?

38 replies

bumpsoon · 30/07/2009 18:46

I am expecting dc3 and went to my 12 week alone and im going to my 20week alone , dh is working so couldnt come even if he wanted to .I dont mind going alone tbh ,im actually lucky in both times im at work anyway ,so i can fit it into my day .Only asking as a friend seemed really shocked that DH wouldnt be going

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dal21 · 30/07/2009 20:06

Weegle - check with the sonographer at the 16 week scan. Ask them when they plan to do the detailed anomoly scan. At 20 weeks? Then make a decision. Please try not to worry. There was a time when our parents got pregnant and then gave birth. Simple as that! No scans etc. nada!

Expat - . so sorry.

claireybee · 30/07/2009 20:08

Yep did them all alone. DH just wasn't interested. Had fortnightly ones with ds but he still didn't come to any.

traceybath · 30/07/2009 20:15

Went to scans for dc3 on my own as DH looking after ds2.

It was fine but like expat i also had ds2 on my own as DH was looking after ds1.

It is a worry though in case you get bad news but its just not always possible for partners to be there.

funtimewincies · 30/07/2009 20:16

I've been to a few alone over the years, mainly because dh has been abroad/away with work. Luckily he was at the dating scan which showed a blighted ovum, which was a complete shock and so unexpected.

The main problem I found was that the staff presumed that dh didn't care and that I was some kind of abandoned woman. I had an antenatal appointment with the consultant at 16 weeks (due to repeated mc) and ended up with an unexpected scan because they were having trouble getting a heartbeat. All was well, but I had to explain that dh was in Singapore after the consultant remarked 'lucky you, an extra scan. I bet your husband will wish he'd come now'. Probably just hormones but I was a bit .

Really sorry to hear about some of your experiences.

mumsiebumsie · 31/07/2009 10:20

My DH has been coming to all my appointments (GP, midwife, consultant etc). But due to work commitments couldn't attend my 20 week scan on Monday.

Wish he'd been there as there are a few concerns with the baby. The scanographer asked if I had any questions but as I was in shock I couldn't think of any.

Later on when I tried to explain to DH what the issues were I was really vague. He was frustrated that I didn't ask for more details. Had he been there he would have been another pair of eyes and ears which would have been helpful when thinking of any further questions.

So if your DH can attend I'd certainly encourage him too but if you can't it's not the end of the world. I wouldn't change the date of my scan as it's likely to delay it even more and your worry will just increase. Just make sure that if there's anything you don't understand or want greater clarity on that you ask then and there!

All the best

arolf · 31/07/2009 10:32

my DP would have loved to have been at all my scans (I was abroad for the first 5 months of this pregnancy, and had 4 scans whilst there!), but since we are living in different countries at the time, he could only make it to the 20 week scan, which he was a bit overwhelmed by!

If we have another child after this one, he wants to be there for the dating scan, but otherwise, don't think he's too fussed.

My dad didn't see any of us 4 kids until we were born, even though mum had scans with all of us, so I don't think it's essential for the father to be there

corblimeymadam · 31/07/2009 10:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

comeonbishbosh · 31/07/2009 12:36

onlyanauntie I wouldn't worry about rearranging if you want to have your partner there. The hospital rearranged mine about 3 times, mostly their initiative bringing it forward, and then I had to rebooked a time when I was on holiday. Just contact them, say you can't make it and can they arrange another time. I suspect they have quite a lot of appointments cancelled and being re-organised, it won't be a big deal to them... but it might be for you!

My husband came for the scan but didn't hang around for all the bloods and extra tests, which was a good compromise for us as it is more difficult for him to take time of work.

BlueChampagne · 31/07/2009 12:42

DH only came to nuchal scan because our only option was private and it could be done in the evening. He works too far away from home to be able to come to the others (now 21 weeks with DC2). Luckily everything has been OK so far.

However, I did have to go to a scan to confirm an mc on my own before I was pg with DS1. It was fairly clear what was happening so I was prepared for the news - just not the amount of hanging around!

Northerngirldownsouth · 31/07/2009 12:52

I had some pretty devastating news at my first 20 week scan, and my dh was there. I would not have managed alone. I really don't want to frighten you but the 20wk scan is a foetal anomaly scan, the purpose is to check for possible problems.

I would try to find someone who could go with you (friend? mum? sister?) as, although the chance of a problem is very, very small you will not want to deal with it alone.

With my two subsequent dc's I had lots of extra scans and went to these alone, but I think the 20 wk one is a bit different.

cornichons · 31/07/2009 13:40

This is my first baby. I had 4 scans all in all and DH only came to one because of work.

It was nice when he was there but really didn't matter when he wasn't.

crankytwanky · 31/07/2009 23:24

DP went with me when I had a suspected ectopic, but they were running late, so he had to go as I was going in.
It was bad news, and I had to phone his work in tears, then ask him to bring me overnight stuff as I was going straight to theater.
He still went back to work!
He was sent home eventually as he was a bit of a wreck.
I'm still quite cross about it 3 years later!

Saying that, I didn't want him in when they were doing the internal-type scan. That felt a little weird.

jbdem · 01/08/2009 11:03

My husband came to all of our 3 childrens scans, recently he couldn't get time off to come to our 4th childs scan at 21 weeks.

I suggest you try to have someone with you, although i'm sure everything will be ok you will want the support of someone just incase. My baby was diagnosed with a heart problem and will need surgery at just one week old, i wish that someone had been with me in the room. xx

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