Another Hyperemesis thread from me, sorry.

[PavlovtheForgetfulCat]

I can't ressurect the other one for some reason. And I need some TLC.

Changed medication recently as Cyclizine not holding me at bay any longer without max dose and that made me too tired.

Now on metaclopromide. And its not really helping. Just been to Dr who pretty much told me that I need to accept that this is not going to disappear now, it is hear to stay, and while the medication will ease it, it is likely I will keep being sick on a regular basis (this medication will limit it but stop it), including the constant feeling of nausea and acid indigestion I am getting along with it.

I feel so so so down about it . I am just so unbeleivable fed up with it, honestly I would like to say I can't take any more. Clearly I can, have no choice but its just getting me so down.

Add to the fact that I feel tearful anyway, I just want to cry and cry and cry and go to bed and stay there. I am useless at work, have hardly been there, I can't actually do much work as it is all routine dependent and I cant offer any kind of routine. Luckily OH have supported the fact that I cannot be relied upon, but that makes me feel even more useless as when I am at work, I feel ill, and I have nothing much to do either.

I have limited energy with DD, who has been such a wonderful girl throughout this horrid horrid time. I just want to be able to be a good mum to her for the time we have left just us three (me DD and DH) and its being wasted.

And I am not as excited about the baby as I want to be, I am feeling resentful and its not the baby's fault, I know that, but I do not feel happy and jumping as I did with DD and I so want to feel like that as I am pleased I am having another one. Its in there somewhere, just can;t harness it right now.

Sorry. I am such a moaner these days and I don't want to be.

No need to apologise for moaning, trust me, you aren't the only one who feels awful a lot of the time. I look like this most of the time

Oh pavlov I keep reading your thread. I suffer with recurrent labyrinthitis and a lot of the symptoms are similar and so I empathise in some ways.

Theres not much I can say but thinking of you. And dont feel bad for moaning.

Thanks Giraffe and Tiger.

I don't know about the depression. I have never felt depressed before so I guess I do not know if I am or not. Life just feels like a big ball of stress from all angles, and I feel a mix of anger and tears much of the time. I am not 'me' that is for sure. I don't feel like 'me'. I don;t normally feel like just caving in, but 18 weeks of sickness is like a big black cloud. But typically when I see the GP i mostly feel business like and matter of fact about how I feel. I have broken down a couple of times, but nothing significant. It reminds me of when you see the gp for a horrible bug and the moment you walk in to see them you feel ok for the first time in days and the moment you walk out you feel crap again! And when people come around, I smile and pretend its fine. You know, I moan, and complain and probably appear like a winging moany thing but I don't cry. But I do when people don't see, I just sink into a despair. .

Thanks for letting me know its ok to moan! It helps, and sorry you are both feeling awful too.

Aw Pavlov, I recognise everything you've said. I know it's exhausting but is it worth asking for a second opinion? Some GPs are more sympathetic than others (and it's in the NHS's interest to keep you out of hospital, after all).

Don't put on a brave face when you see the GP - let him see how distressed you are. He might be getting a false impression of how you feel. It's mean of him to say 'it's not going away' - at 18 weeks you might be entering the home stretch (my sickness started to recede at around 22 weeks both times). You are NOT necessarily condemned to another five months of this.

When I had HE I cried a lot. It is very horrible and a bit frightening to be so ill. I recognise what you say about your DD too - DS1 was just 15 months when I started to get sick with DS2, and he didn't understand what was happening at all. I lay on the sofa all day, crying and puking, and he thought I'd been body-snatched.

It's perfectly normal to not feel excited about the pregnancy when you're like this, as well. I know I felt very ho-hum about both pregnancies until the vomiting stopped - in fact I seriously considered a termination at one point.

Are you eating? There are ways of eating, and things to eat, that will make you feel better. I can go into more detail if you like. I know eating is the last thing you want to do, but it's one of the few things that can actually make you feel better, if you do it right.

Have you tried stemetil Pavlov? It has worked for me reasonably well - some days I almost feel normal. I'm sure that without it I would be on my knees, or in hospital. I've jsut started taking it again after a couple of weeks' break. It really does make a difference. I had avomine to start with which worked OK but knocked me out - with the stemetil I find it far easier to get through the day.

Policywonk I'd be interested in hearing about eating... I eat a load of crap, mainly because anything that isn't a complex carb just won't stay down. Just don't mention ginger

There's a stronger thing you could try. Ondansetron, otherwise known as zofran. This is quite hardcore I think, they give it to people having chemo etc.

Don't accept a 'tough' from your GP - if necessary see a different one. They owe it to you to try everything.

Sorry the meto didn't work - I really thought it would

Pavlov, so sorry you are feeling so poorly still. I had HG and can so agree with everything you have said. I too felt angry, and scared and cried a lot. I was in and out of hospital, and just felt like a complete failure.

But it did get better, and it was worth it.

Did you have HG in your first pg {nosey emotion}. It was a big factor in me sticking with just DS TBH.

I wish I had known about MN when I was pg, moan away - am glad it helps to get it off your chest. I think unless you have exerienced HG it's hard to get it.

This was a different gp a locum as my gp was away. It was my gp who changed it, this gp said stick it out, and up the dose to max, where my proper gp said start with one, increase as needed.

I am eating, and currently about half is staying down. So it is better than it was, and I am stronger physically than I have been as I had a break of 3 weeks before it started again, and unlike before where I held nothing down, I am holding food down. Sweet food is a no-no, although I crave it. it leaves a taste in my mouth which I know means bad news! Bread seems best, although if it does make a return journey it is not pleasant. Pasta seems ok, plain, nothing flavoured. I was doing fine for a while and could even eat food with a little flavour. Today all the food aversions and smell issues have returned and I can smell bad smells everywhere .

I don't deliberately cover up how I feel, I think I always feel more 'flat' or 'robot like' if that makes sense, the tears do not come, but the moment I get into the car again, I feel myself welling up.

policy I am 22 weeks, i meant I have 18 to go , at least I have broken the back of it at least.

Thanks everyone, as always you have helped me feel better. I am sorry others feel this way too, but thanks for sharing with me again. x

The gp said the way metoclopramide works means that I should be absorbing much more than when I was sick on cyclizine, and that although its not nice to be sick, I will be absorbing more than I realise.

He also said he is recommending 4 weekly blood tests to check liver function (rare condition affecting liver in pg) and to monitor salt levels as they can reduce even if not dehydrated, and he thinks this should be regularly monitored to make sure all is ok. It appears I am holding down enough for it not to be a concern for the gps, just enough for it to get it right down. My own gp pretty much said, this is crap for you, downright horrid, but the baby is fine so tough.

Right then, eating:

1. I know it's a cliche but little and often. Aim to eat something every 30 minutes or so: handful of plain crisps, a few thin slices of apple, a tiny white bread cucumber sandwich, etc.
2. The theory is: start the day frontloading carbs. Have something by your bed that you've prepared the night before (stick it in an airtight box so you don't have to smell it all night). Aim for something like a muffin/teacake/piece of toast/a couple of plain digestive biscuits plus a glass of fruit juice. You're after a sugar hit here. Eat this before you get out of bed (it will be tough to get it down). Once you've eaten as much as you can, let it settle for 10 minutes then get out of bed.
3. Follow it up with something within 30 minutes - whatever breakfast cereal you can stomach, plain toast, yoghurt (I subsisted on Muller rices for months).
4. Now just keep going with the something-every-30-minutes routine. Get DH/Dp/sympathetic friend/mother to prepare you lots of little snacks so that you don't have to go in the dreaded kitchen and face the double-dreaded fridge. Just think tiny portions - don't overwhelm yourself. Try to introduce some protein if you can stomach it (cheese, peanut butter) as it'll keep your blood sugar up for longer.
5. Rice, pasta, potatoes and noodles can all help - again, to raise blood sugar. Drinking the water that you've used to make rice is one HE remedy (never could stomach this myself though).
6. Hopefully, by the early evening you'll feel semi-human and be able to face a dinner prepared by your lovely assistant. Plain roast chicken and boiled potatoes kept me going for months. Avoid anything too greasy.
7. Before bed, try to give yourself a protein hit to sustain your blood sugar overnight: plain chicken sandwich, cheese sandwich, peanut butter on toast.
8. Prepare morning snack and take it to bed with you.
9. Lots of people swear by flat Coke - again, for the sugar I suppose. I used to suck boiled sweets or lollipops. The problem with this is that you can get a sugar low after half an hour or so.

It's worth a go anyway! I can't promise you'll feel like a million dollars, and there will be days when you just can't stop puking no matter what you eat.

Pavlov, If you're still feeling this bad in a week I'd go back to the GP and make a fuss.

Pavlov - I'm sorry I haven;t read all the responses but I just wanted to day that I truly hated being pg with DD. I had hyperemesis all the way through. But I did feel absolutely in love with DD as soon as she came. It didn't affect the way I felt about her at all.

Also, although I did have it 'all the way through' I did feel considerably better at 29 weeks. No one thought it wouyld get better but I did get to eating normal meals by then (still on meds), so thee may be hope for you yet!

And I lived on ice cream, just in case you're finding it hard to keep anything down. The coldness really helped.

I've just talked to my GP about Zofran. She's not very well up on it, admittedly, but she thinks it's only used in hospitals intravenously.

Not sure if that's true.

Pavlov, I know just how you feel. Just about this time last year I could have written your post word for word. HG is terrible. What worked for me - a combination, finally, of metaclroprimide and stemetil - and Dioralyte. My GP gave me this on prescription and I sipped it all day - a lot of it came up, but I do think that it helped. Also, I was prescribed the sticks to monitor my ketones - if I started to go downhill I made a huge effort to rehydrate with Dioralyte. I think that this kept me out of hospital several times, as for me as soon as I got to +++ of ketones it spiralled into having to go in to get on a drip. I hope that perhaps some of this could help you - I am so sorry that you are going through this.

Thanks Policywonk. Most of it I already do - little and often, plain meals, protein before bed all work well. Unfortunately I can't eat at all in the morning until about 10am. I've tried, but it all comes back. I can start eating by about 10am, so a good day is when I can stay in bed until then. Doesn't happen often though, with a 5 year old and a school run to contend with.

Might give the rice water a miss

policy - thanks for the eating tips, I did know them, but I definitely needed reminding, I sort of forgot what I have meant to be doing.

The best meal I have found is plain grilled salmon with plain boiled new potatoes. I can keep this down most of the time.

Sweets, ice cream, coke, its all out of the window . Sweet is so not good, although i have had days when I have said 'f it' and just eating and to hell with the consequences.

I have just eaten some plain pasta. It is feeling odd, but hopefully it will stay down. luckily dh does most of the cooking so he is used to being in the kitchen!

tiger me too with the eating. I really really struggle to eat before mid morning even on my 'good' days without medication (and sometimes with) even water will not sit first thing.

Pavlov I just wanted to tell you my 2 experiences of HG. I had HG with both my ds's. Sadly it lasted for the whole of both pregnancies, but I did feel much better from 22-38 weeks. I was still sick, but the awful nausea (which I found worse than the vomiting) improved dramatically.

I found I felt a lot better if I just ate what I faniced and stuffed trying to eat healthy for the baby. Also I stopped feeling bad about not doing much with ds1 once I realised he was happy just doing gentle things like reading and clouring. He also watch far too much cbeebies, but it was only going to be temporary as I knew once I'd had the baby we'd get back to doing all our usual things together.

I also felt that I was missing out on the last few months dp, ds and I would have together as a family of 3 but we adjusted things so that we had some fun times together.

Please don't feel bad for moaning (you aren't btw). Anything to get you through the next few months.

Do you know what sex the baby is? I found out with both mine as knowing the sex made me able to visualise them more as a baby rather than a parasite that was making me feel shit. And that made me feel a bit happier.

I really hope you do get some relief soon.

tutu thanks for your post. I did find out the gender actually, a boy! for sure! (we saw the evidence ) and that did make it feel much more positive for me, as it is now a baby boy there, not an 'it' or genderless being. It has made it more real and I try to think of that when I feel too detached.

I just had so much more loving going on with DDs pg, I guess also she was my first. I just want to feel the same about him as I do about DD.

Although I thought i had held down some water today, I have a stinking headache and dry mouth, you know the dehydration headache. I have not had this for a while. I am going to go holler for DH to get me some water (am in bed!) and then roll over and get some sleep. One area I can spend time with dd - in bed! So I let her sleep in our bed today and she is sprawled next to me!!! Luckily it won't stop her sleeping in her own bed, she knows its a treat (albeit a regular one recently!)

PavlovtheForgetfulCat - I had hyperemesis badly with both my DCs. They are 3 and 1 now. It is such a terrible illness, there is no respite and nothing can make you feel better physically. With DD, I was vomiting until the very end - sick the night before delivery, sick just before delivery and then I was sick after delivery whilst breastfeeding just for good measure.

I also had obstetric cholestasis (not sure if that's the complication they are checking your liver for).

The only thing that I can say to you is to focus on the end - you will have a beautiful baby, you will feel amazing virtually instantly. My dad came to the hospital a few hours after DD was born and he said how amazing I looked - people usually look like crap after giving birth, but I actually looked amazing because the hormones had already started to dissipate. I immediately had the energy to get up and walk around (I could hardly walk when pg - not because of bulk which I had very little of, but because I was so tired run down and sick).

Don't worry about the last bit with your DD only. It is a positive thing for your DD to have a sibling and she will also get her healthy mummy back. My DS was about 15m when I got pg with DD - now he is 3, he remembers nothing of the pregnancy. I am grateful for that because it was so horrific. He loves his sister and cannot remember a time without her.

I feel so sorry for you suffering like this. I honestly felt as though I was dying when I had it. I'm not having any more kids and it is all behind me. I could not possibly suffer like that again. BUT it will finish for you, just focus on that! You have done more than half the pregnancy and you have done the worst part. If you don't hope for any improvement now, you won't be disappointed. I did notice some small improvement around 28 weeks, but I was still sick and still felt terrible. All I wanted to do was rest.

I remembered a couple things that used to work for me, not sure if they're any use. Probably not!

Couldn't face water at all - something like squash or milkshake was far easier to get liquids into me. Water just wasn't going to happen.

Also I couldn't eat the same thing as the day before. So every day would be a fight to get ds1 out of the house so I could get to the bakery (yes really) and find something very unhealthy that would persuade me to eat it - usually something hot like a pastie or such, weird I know, and the first bite was a bit of a scary one but after that it really helped for a while. It couldn't be anything I had in the house though, and once I'd had something I didn't want it again for days and days, if at all.

I don't know why greasy bakery stuff worked. But it did.

I always felt better able to eat something if I'd been drinking and not eating for a good few hours. I'd even take a home made icy milkshake to bed, and sip it in the night to avoid low blood sugar - and then the next day would feel much brighter and could think about food again. I think it was being hydrated, maybe that's why people feel better on an IV.

I've had problems drinking enough for years, so tis perhaps to do with that in my case.

I have only been sick once , just replaced with horrendous indigestion that gaviscon is doing little to alleviate, and it is threatening to turn into acidy sick . I can feel it 'sitting' there .

I have been trying to take milk to bed actually, to help through the night so i feel better in the morning. Not sure yet if it is helping.

crokky you are right, not hope for improvement, if I get it great, if not, no disappointment. Or rather, less disappointment. I am disappointed it won't go. I loook and feel so rough, there appears to be no glowing yet! I shall presume that wont happen.

Not gaining weight at all, although bump is getting bigger so the illusion of weight gain is there!

O.M.G. I have the. most. horrendous. acid indigestion I have ever experienced . Gaviscon and rennies, both tried and failed.

And the side effects of the medication. Not pleasant. Oh dear.

Well at least I am having a genius eh?

I had bad H.G. with both my pregnancies .
Ondansetron(zofran ) was the only medication that helped .

Re : your indigestion - I would suggest getting your GP to prescribe Ranitidine . It helped me a lot. I also found that the minty chewy rennies were more palatable than the chalky tablet .

Poor you - it's really shitty .

My DD1 watched a lot of CBeebies during my pregnancy but like someone else mentioned , has no bad memories of being bored or watching mummy retching into the toilet bowl !!

Keep reminding yourself - this too shall pass.