How do you decide whether or not to find out the sex of the baby at 20 wk scan?

[sifuentes]

I am still a way off this stage but DP says he doesn't mind so long as I decide before I go in. I have been seriously dithering over this one. I can't wait to know but then is it a shame to ruin the surprise? (It will be my 1st)

People seem generally to fall quite firmly into one camp or another but I just can't make my mind up.

Is it better to get yuor head round what you're having? Does it take away some of the 'magic' of that it's a ...!! moment?

I don't mind saying that I had a preconception about what it was like to have a boy, thinking they are all loud, fighty and charging about.

The reality of having DS1 is that boys are actually really sweet affectionate, especially with their mummies. He's an absolute delight and from that point of view I wouldn't mind having a boy or a girl.

If you find yourself having a boy, I think you may find that you are pleasantly surprised

Either way, don't let it play on your mind too much, what will be will be

xxx

I found out with my first dc and was overjoyed when they said he was a boy. Im currently 31 weeks preg with dc2 and we desperately wanted to know but naughty baby was hiding its bits! Sonographer said possibly a girl but we aren pinning everything on a possibly! I was quite disappointed for a few days that we couldn find out but now im really excited about the surprise of it at the birth. We agonized for weeks over getting a private sexing scan done but decided in the end not to.
We are both really excited about finding out when its born what it is. Im convinced its a girl though but as long as its healthy it really doesn matter. In my experiences i would say find out cos im too impatient to find out but my impatience has been tested this time because naughty baby wanted it to be a surprise!

I've got 2 DC and have tried it both ways. DD1 - didn't find out. DS2 - did find out.

Advantages of finding out - easier to be organised, you can buy baby clothes in the sales, easier to choose a name etc.

Diadvantages - takes away some of the excitement.

Given the choice again, I don't think I'd find out.

Before you decide you desperately want to know check your hospital will tell you - some have policy not to and you might be disappointed if you assumed you could just ask. In that case you'd have to pay for a gender scan.

I just simply couldn't wait so found out my dd's sex. Wasn't aware you have to pay for a gender scan at some hospitals? thought a scan was a scan.

I don't think it ruins the moment, but then I guess I don't really know. Having a baby was so unreal and suprising (and wonderful!) anyway, I'm not sure not knowing the sex would have made it any more surprising (or if I could have coped with anymore surprise!..lol)

I found out with my DD for 2 reasons a) I can't bear surprises, I'm all about the build up and planning... and b) I didn't want to be go through my whole pregnancy convinced one way or the other and then be wrong - that would have made my first reaction something along the lines of 'a boy? really? oh.' !!

To be honest I think the whole here's your baby thing is enough of a surprise anyway, the entire time I was pregnant I wasn't fully convinced I was actually going to be having a baby

We didnt get the option as in Glasgow you only get your booking in/dating scan and no more unless you are classed as "high risk" pregnancy.

I was convinced I was having a boy from the day I found out I was pregnant at 7 weeks.

Paid for a private scan at 27 weeks(more for reassurance as my dating scan was at 13+1) and hey presto, DS was in there man bits ad all!

I am glad we found out as it made buying things so much easier as we had been sticking to neutral colours and it was all a bit bland IYSWIM?

xxx

I'm pregnant with no 2 at the moment, and I have to say at the 20wk scan this time I was hugely tempted to find out. I didn't find out with DS, as I'd fallen pg accidentally, and DP hadn't been too sold on the idea. I knew he wanted a son, and thought if we found out it was a girl beforehand he may have distanced himself from the baby, IYSWIM? Anyway, this time I do want the surprise again, but it would be so nice to be able to talk to DS about his little brother or sister, rather than 'the baby'.

Definitely one of those 'whatever's right for you' decisions.

I'm pregnant with my first and found out we are having a DD at my 20 week scan (probably!). I asked for 2 reasons:

1. As others have said I am just incredibly impatient and couldn't wait for any little bits of info about my baby .

1. For me finding out she is a girl made it easier to picture her as a real little person and start to bond. We still haven't settled on a name but I like talking about her rather than it and DP loves asking how his daughter is today. Even if it turns out that the sonographer was wrong and beanie is a boy we won't care and I will still be glad we asked.

I did worry that it would take away the excitement of finding out at the birth but I think there will be enough excitement and surprises meeting our DD for the first time, seeing what she looks like and getting to know her.

I've found out with both my pregnancies. I don't understand the whole "We want it to be a surprise" thing. baby will be either a boy or a girl - the only surprise would be if it was a puppy.....

Also - I think having a baby full stop is exciting enough!