Help - Do I tell them I've had a termination?

[MissT]

About a month after I split with my husband I went on a disasterous blind date and was sort of 'date raped' - I didn't report it because I put myself in ridiculous position. He forced himself on me but I was drunk and stupid and couldn't/didn't resist. I didn't say 'no' but I didn't want it. I just wanted to forget all about it afterwards and not taking any contraception went for the morning after pill. My useless GP told me the day after (Sunday) that I might as well wait until the Family Planning CLinic opened on MOnday. Needless to say, it was too late and I got pregnant, despite knowing at 5 weeks, I didn't get a termination until 9 weeks and told only one close friend who looked after my kids. There was no way I could have had the baby even if I had wanted it. To be honest I didn't regret my decision for a moment. A few months later I met my dp and now a couple of years later I'm happily pregnant by him. Thing is do I have to tell doctors/midwifes about the termination? (I had the 2 pills type - in and out - no operation). I organised it through the FPA and didn't give in the letter to my GP so I don't think they know about it. I really don't want it on my medical records and would die if dp found out about it - he feels quite strongly about abortion. Do I have to tell anyone? Thanks fo ryour help!

There are some particular situations where it is important to know if someone has been pregnant before. They would need to know if it were a miscarage or a termination. this information would be held in the strictest confidence and would not be given to anyone, like a partner, without your consent.

It isn't tha you need to 'confess' this, you have nothing to repremand yourself with. But for medical reasons it is better if your mw knows, just to be on the safe side.

Having a termination bears absolutely no relevance to your current state. You should dismiss your termination as something that has no bearing on your pregnancy and giving this information to a midwife/dr etc will not make the slightest difference in how they treat you.

It can matter if you are Rhesus negative and the first foetus was rhesus positive

but that would have been sorted at the time as they would have tested missT's blood group and given anti-d if it was required at the time, the termination was only 2 years ago so anti-d injections were routine for rhesus negative women in most areas then.
missT do you know your blood group? is the rhesus negative issue a concern? if not then i would still suggest either say nothing or tell your midwife but say not to be written down anywhere as you feel that it is irrelevant to the care that you need to receive for this pregnancy.

MissT has already mentioned that she has other children, so Rh can't be an issue. I can't think of anything else offhand that would matter, but I would be inclined to give the correct number of pregnancies at least, and call it a miscarriage.

Sorry, missed that bit of information. No offense intended. I do know that information like that is left off the patient carried notes

Sorry hmb, didn't mean to sound abrupt!

I don't think you have to say anything. From what I know, there is no reason or need to mention the termination to anyone regarding this pregnancy. I'm sure many women are in this position every week and many of those will never tell anyone about a temrination in their past. It is entirely your choice if you mention this to DP or anyone at all. There will be nothing on your new pg notes about it, only on your medical notes which are private or only viewable by you and then only be arrangement. You are not obliged to mention that pregnancy when giving subsquent pregnancy info at your booking appointments or any later ones.

It is all in the past.. it should only be an issue if you feel it is something you need to discuss (or there were any medical issues arising from it which I assume there weren't)

Good luck for a happy and healthy pregnancy

SJ x

I wouldn't if I were you. But that is just my personal opinion.

I had a TOP after an assault resulted in pregnancy, I offered the info up in my notes when booking in appt came up when pregnant with dd 2 yrs later, the said it was not essential and it was my choice if I wanted it recorded on notes or not.
I chose to keep it on there - it was more relevant apparently when I had surgery for an ectopic last year though. Still not totally clear as to why. but miy TOP was surgical not the pill type.
So I do not think you need to mention it.
Take care xx

MissT

When I was a mw, many years ago now, we always asked women about previous pregnancies for a variety of reasons eg physical as well as mental. If you explain to the mw that your dp does not know about the previous top then she will be able to record it confidentially elsewhere in your notes. This is not a problem and fwiw, it happens all the time. If your dp wants to come to your booking appointment then take him and speak to the mw about it separately at your next visit - she'll understand why you did not say when dp was there. Also, imhe booking appointments and viability/anomaly scans are not really suitable for children because of there may be a need to discuss personal or difficult issues that are not really suitable for their young ears. best of luck with your pregnancy.

I had a termination and a miscarriage before I got pregnant with DS.
When the midwife asked at my booking appointment I told her, and she gave me the option of whether or not I wanted it put in my notes.
I chose not to, not because DP didn't know, but because I didn't want people keep asking me about it.