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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

high BMI and now really stressed after seeing consultant...

49 replies

ahappymummy · 10/06/2009 20:49

Im 16+3 and i was referred to a consultant as i have a very high BMI.
I saw her today and she pointed out that i am at a high risk of diabetes,high blood pressure,anaesthetic risks,epidural risks and at risk of DVP of the legs or lungs!
I am only 32,otherwise healthy,and have 1 other child of 3.
She then ntook my blood pressure which was,of course,high!
Now a happy pregnancy has turned out into a stressful one,im scared to be honest.
Anyone with experience of this or can reassure me? please?!

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Pinkcaz · 11/06/2009 19:01

I'm 25 and my BMI is 36 but not been refered but it has been mentioned to me by the midwife but luckily she was lovely about it

One of the things I was terrified about when I got pregnant was people telling me off and making me feel even more ashamed about my weight however I have been very lucky with both my GP and my midwives!

This pregnancy has actually got me back to eating better - my cravings seem to be stacks of fruit! and as the weather is getting nicer I have taken to walking rather than getting the bus and seems such a small thing but seems to be working

Good Luck ahappymummy and please keep us informed on how the rest of it goes - enjoy! Its a wonderful time don't let anyone ruin it!! x

Snorris · 11/06/2009 19:33

You don't live on the South Coast do you? I had an awful 12wk appointment with a female consultant last year when I was pregnant with dd5. Fair enough being warned of the risks but her attitude stank! My BMI was in the region of 38, but she was also telling me I was high risk due to a previous c-section despite me having a home-birth since! She was all for me being in the cosultant unit rigged up to every monitorgoing .

I'm not advocating ignoring medical advice but some consultants are more 'risk conscious' than others. You are well within your rights to change consultants if you want.

BTW the midwives were much more supportive and I had a normal delivery in the midwife-led unit .

dizietsma · 11/06/2009 19:48

"I have been told that i need to be referred to the aneasthetist because ther can be 'complications'administering the epidural..anyone had experience of this one?"

By the time I got my epi I'd been in labour 27 hours (DD was back to back, the minx!), and was just so happy to finally get gas and air that I let a student use me as a pincushion, too spaced out the blessed relief to really care too much about the 7, yes, 7 attempts to go in. The first 6 were done by the student aneasthetist who kept poking it in the wrong place. Because I understood that a bad epi could cause nerve damage and headaches I made sure to tell her when it felt "wrong", make sure you do too.

Thankfully after the 6th attempt, the Consultant aneathetist ran in and popped it in properly with no problems in about 2 minutes.

I'm pretty sure it was the student's inexperience that made it difficult for her to administer the epi, so just make sure you insist on an experienced senior doc to do it, make sure it feels "right".

Lots of docs and MW seem to get affronted that bigger women have babies. I think it's a bit silly to have a go at a woman who's pregnant about how bad it is to be overweight in pregnancy, the boat has sailed and there's nothing to be done about it until after the pregnancy anyway. There's nothing to be gained from the telling off other than making the mum feel bad, and the HCP getting a sanctimonious kick from the bollocking. Making pregnant women feel bad about themselves is counterproductive to their health, in so many ways. It's just ridiculous.

Do try not to take it personally, it's just prejudice, there's every chance that you'll have a normal pregnancy and delivery, don't let them bully you into thinking it's all going to go wrong!

dizietsma · 11/06/2009 19:53

"She was all for me being in the cosultant unit rigged up to every monitorgoing"

Yeah had this too, I initially tried for a home birth, you can imagine the horror! Obviously I transferred to hospital for the birth, but that was for pain relief after protracted labour, not because of complications.

ahappymummy · 11/06/2009 21:23

thanks dizi,i really hope all does go well with bump and me.Blood pressure up a bit,and some protein found yesterday in my urine sample so they have sent that off for testing.
I have a feeling my bp was up because of everything the consultant said!
Had a great pregnancy last time but then again was quite a bit lighter!

OP posts:
dizietsma · 11/06/2009 23:24

Did they use a large cuff? Seriously, it makes a hell of a lot of a difference. The one time they didn't use a larger cuff for bp monitoring on me, my bp read as elevated. I insisted they get a larger cuff to check, the MW was on a home visit as I was booked for a home birth and I sent her back to the clinic to pick it up! Hey presto, it was a totally normal reading with a big cuff. I got to knock the bitchy condescending smile of the meanest MW's face (the only one in the community MW team, the rest were lovely thankfully). It was very satisfying

CandleQueen · 11/06/2009 23:35

It's simple.
Fat people aren't allowed to have sex.
Fat people aren't allowed to have babies.

Well, trot along! I am fat, I have sex, I have babies. So there!!

YanknCock · 12/06/2009 18:52

ahappymummy, I've also been referred to the consultant anaesthetist a month before my due date.

Yesterday I phoned up the community midwives and said I don't want to see that same midwife ever again. Using the wrong BP cuff was the last straw.

The senior registrar I saw was such a dickhead--even the MW at that appointment was rolling her eyes as he jabbered on about how often he goes to the gym. I'm glad my DH was there and tried to stick up for me, telling the idiot how my diet was actually very healthy and how I did exercise (before SPD set in). It went completely over his head unfortunately. All he saw was 'fat woman, all her own fault, shouldn't be having a baby'.

PCOS is horrible, my body just hangs on to fat so efficiently! I lost a stone last year and kept it off. I AM trying, but am so sick of medical people treating me like I'm some kind of idiot because I'm fat.

ahappymummy · 12/06/2009 18:53

candlequeen,you are so right!!!
!
Dizi,they used the usual cuff they use on everyone,and it was taken just after the MW checked my urine sample and went"oh my gosh,there is SO much protein in your urine".
The consultant i saw half an hour later told me it wasnt that high at all.
I have a feeling i am going to have probs with my MWS and consultants!

OP posts:
TigerFeet · 12/06/2009 19:03

candlequeen

ahappymummy, is there any chance you could change consultants and/or mw's?

CandleQueen · 12/06/2009 19:08

I know being overweight is not healthy, and have been doing something about it for many years, with varying success. I know I need to eat less and move more, but that is easier said than done!
The "healthcare professionals" I can across when I was pg mostly spoke to me as if being fat made me stupid as well. As soon as they realised I was a teacher (eg another professional) they changed they way they spoke and they used more technical language.
The double standards were quite amazing.

TigerFeet · 12/06/2009 19:25

If it was that easy to get rid of the excess weight we'd all be a size 12 wouldn't we?

I really hate the way the medical profession talk down to us, but I suppose they have to treat everyone the same and there is a proportion of the population that needs to have everything explained in words of one syllable. I have thus far managed to resist screaming "AKTCHERLEE I have a degree in Biochemistry, I DO understand, possibly a little more than you do". But only barely.

merryberry · 12/06/2009 20:18

hi, just read this with interest. I'm yankncocks friend with the high bmi who had first child induced because of wrong bp cuff being used. wait back in a tickk, baby's woken up

merryberry · 12/06/2009 20:39

that was easy, phew.

my bmi at end of that pg was 41. had routine bp on my due date with hospital MW. BP was raised, told to come in as entering pre-eclamptic territory. measured several hours later (so not so much of an emergency then, heh?? with diff cuff. BP down to much more usual for me 95/70.

i asked if the cuff or machine made any difference, told not at all possible, it would have been that i was rested now. but very much noted the different size of the cuff.

3 day induction, finally got ds1 out with sheer willed effort to stop them rattling the cutlery at the end of the bed at me. very very fncked off with it all, as ds1 got disgustngly close to full blood transfusion for jaundice after that ridiculously long birth (and i was starved throughout).

Never saw a consultant all that PG, just 1 registrar, once who took weight as no issue.

Few months after the birth, after review of notes etc, complaint upheld, got them to review their protocols and buy more fat lady cuffs for each place a MW operated.

with ds2, different hospital booking, had more of your type of experience, being told you're fat etc. was too angry with NHS still, and too proud of my abilty to cope with their crap by that stage to care much about anyone's opinion. i do and did appreciate the truth of the population statistics on childbirth, but was happy to live with increased risk. not so happy with their attitudes. or the fight i had on my hands to get into the MW led birth unit. they were very 'yes, but....'. And i knew the best shot at least trauma in childboirth for me was a waterbirth. but boy they were strict about it.

gave up in the end and had a home water birth with indy MW. who knew me, knew the cuff stuff already. knew her onions +++, and literally physically rehearsed me for how we (WE! note that WE!) would deal with a more than likely shoulder dystocia (ds2 showing large on plapitation and ultrasound). we practised the different positions, me hopping in and out of the pool we'd hired. she drew her bottom lines like 'if i say we need hospital, i mean it, we're going in, i'll do it under these circumstances otherwise you can have your money back' etc.

and that's the main difference isn't it? a really practical working relationship where she knew my general health, how i was doing psychollogically. and a MW who wasn't scared by the extremes of the norm and had plenty of experience.

she resolved ds2's shoulder dystocia, because my god he was huge, and very long. we were admitted after the birth to check with paed there was no shoulder damage to baby and we stayed for treatment of mild juandice. because of his size we had nearly every maternity professional in the place trundle by for a look-see at us. they'd never heard of such a large baby delivered vaginally. hospitals just won't even try. there are some great people in them, but for years now i think if you don't fall near the average, every basic intervention in the book will be thrown at you. it's vicious circle. the MWs are less skilled on the whol e than they used to be (many haven't even delivered a simple breach baby i hear nowadays). so more interventions are used, meaning less MW skills.

sorry drifted off into somewhat simplistic ranting now. you have to let some of these comments roll off your back. work on your general health, staying strong and practising how to cope psychologically with birth. as neccessary if you have medical interventions as if you go down the more naturalistic route.

and finally, if they start makjing noises about CS because of your size, start throwing it back in their faces - at MY SIZE, mock shock horror ;)

good luck, don't let the normalistic basterds get you down

merryberry · 12/06/2009 20:46

and ps! i don't actually have back fat as such. my weight is mostly on my arse and thighs with a generous apreading everywhere else, but i can feel my spine easily. had an epi for ds1, no prob at all, in and out 1st attempt, anaesthetist 10 minutes in the room apparently

CandleQueen · 12/06/2009 22:28

How large was ds2 Merryberry?
I'm glad you had a good experience.
DS1 was a wonderful pregnancy, no major concerns, and a 39 hour labour with 2 epidurals, forceps and a lot of worry & panic.
DS2 was a "high risk" pregnancy, due to my weight and his predicted size. Loads of scans, lots of visits to diabetes clinics & dieticians (not that I actually had GD, just one slightly elevated blood test).
His birth was 7 hours from first niggles to holding my 9lb 9oz baby. Natural birth.
A lot of fuss over nothing.

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 12/06/2009 23:05

Ok stop panicking - first off, the consultants are GOING to say that, it's their job to mention the risks and stuff, but you should also be aware that they are really good at scaremongering, and the statistics they quote ain't necessarily "correct"!

Before I had my ds I had a bmi of 53, so I was under consultant led care. Within 20 seconds of entering his office my consultant had mentioned my weight, and continued to focus on it and tell me I'd get all manner of diabetes, dvt, you name it I'd have it. I left feeling just like you, scared and worried.

Then I found kmom's website which helped calm me down a lot. It has thousands of birth stories from large women, some twice as big as me, and the statistics seemed suddenly wrong! You should especially read this section. Yes, some of them had had problems, or ended up with sections, but in the end the likelihood of them having a normal birth was pretty much the same as any other woman.

My blood pressure was fine, no diabetes, I had a normal vaginal delivery (a tear but that wasn't weight related!) and no dvt during or afterwards. They gave me injections to make sure this didn't happen though, which I very much appreciated.

They made me have loads of growth scans because they assumed he'd be enormous- (he was 7lb 2oz! apgars of 9 and 9) They scheduled me an appointment with the anesthesiologist who reccomended an early epidural "because I'd most likely be ending up with a section"

In labour (I didn't have an epidural) as soon as I got there they fitted a painful and un-necessary IV because again, they were determined I'd end up having a section! They wouldn't even take it out til the day after I had him in case something went wrong. Very frustrating.

I do believe that the consultant/anesthesiologist/midwives WANTED me to have a section because it's easier for them, they can control things. This is perhaps why the midwives made me lie down on the bed the whole time when I was coping very well standing up - they basically treated me like I was an unpredictable elephant despite being very calm and coping. Mark my words, things will be different next time!

So, to sum up, I was fine. Don't let them scare you, honey. Yes you may have high blood pressure but they can treat and monitor that, it doesn't mean that you will get everything else on the list, plenty of slim women have high blood pressure in pregnancy. Just look after yourself and don't let them treat you like a 2nd class citizen because you're overweight.

I hope this has helped you a bit, this kind of thing makes me really angry. How does frightening a pregnant woman who CANNOT lose a vast amount of weight whilst pregnant help her in the slightest, other than to GIVE her high blood pressure? Just try to eat healthy, maintain gentle activity and don't worry. You'll be fine.

merryberry · 12/06/2009 23:21

loudly and enthusiastically applauding jamesandthegiantbanana

candle 61 or 63cm long depending on who measured and 5.3k (11lb 11oz). Your average 3 month old, i think. No GD or anything. 11 days past 40week gestation calculation. Ultrasound said likely 9lb 7 when done at 35 weeks.

turns out my grandad george was said to have been knocking 14lbs at birth, do wish my grandma had thought to mention that. and 3/5 of her babies were over 10lbs, and all were 2 weeks 'late'. i was late, but only 8lbs. my husband's family were all 9lbers. the hospital gave up badgering us about it when my string of 6ft+ to 6ft6 relatives visited while jaundice being treated.

ds1 was just 6lb13, but he really wasn't ready to come out at that stage.

Casserole · 12/06/2009 23:34

Grr, I'm so annoyed about experiences like yours. How on earth do they think that's helpful? The thing is, you can't do anything dramatic about your weight now you're already pregnant.

What you can do, is exactly what you've said - eat healthily and take frequent gentle exercise - walking is brilliant. Do that and by the time your baby comes you'll be a lot healthier than some of these skinny minnies who live on 5 Mars bars a day and never exercise yet "just can't seem to put any weight on".

One thing that WILL put you at extra risk is worrying yourself sick about it. So eat to nourish you and your bub with lots of fresh natural goodness and get out there with your partner and walk the summner away... and enjoy your pregnancy without this stupid man casting a shadow over it.

CandleQueen · 12/06/2009 23:36

Medical staff do get their knickers in a twist about "big" babies don't they?
With ds2 and the nightmare suspected GD pg, I didn't actually see my consultant until 2 weeks before due date. She asked for DH & my birth weights (9lbsomething & 7lb11oz) and that of ds1 (8lb6)
"Well, you're not going to have a small baby are you?" No shit, Sherlock! She was the first person I saw who took these weights into consideration and the fact that we were all "late" for dates.

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 12/06/2009 23:43

Echoing what everyone else has said about the blood pressure cuffs, too. I have very large upper arms, which was (in a way!) fortunate, as a shocking number of midwives tried their best to force a normal length cuff around my arm and gave up because it wouldn't close without my arm turning red.

I continually said to them "I need the larger cuff, the normal one won't give an accurate result" and they went "no no it'll be fine" because they couldn't be arsed to hunt out the bigger cuff (In the end they always had to, and my blood pressure was spot on normal) Can you imagine what result I'd have got on the normal one? They'd have had me admitted at 11 weeks!

dizietsma · 13/06/2009 01:50

"Dizi,they used the usual cuff they use on everyone"

Yeah, that'll be the reason it was high then. As everyone has said, if you're a bigger lady a normal cuff will artificially inflate your bp results.

Next time you get measured, just say "I need a large bp cuff to ensure accurate bp readings."

Like JATGB I had a lot of MW try and convince me to just use the normal one 'cos they couldn't be arsed looking for the other one, but it really could have negative effects on your care if it's not accurate so don't be afraid to insist.

Unnecessarily freaking you out about your health and spoiling your pregnancy, sending you for tests you don't need, and ultimately unnecessary induction for "pre-eclampsia" are all possible outcomes if your bp is inaccurately monitored.

I don't know why more MW aren't aware of this, it's pretty fundamental.

I also suffered with the fat = stupid issues with HCP. WTF is that? Fat doesn't affect your neural pathways FGS! Backfired on HCP, it just made me more bolshie, and less likely to take their crap

YanknCock · 13/06/2009 19:46

merryberry, glad you found this thread and told your story!

Next time I see the midwife I'm printing out the guidance from the NHS Clinical Knowledge Summaries available here. Gives the arm circumferences for each cuff size and makes it clear that error is introduced using too small a cuff.

Alfiejo2 · 21/02/2020 11:08

I felt the same after seeing my consultant stressed and upset then it took my husband to turn round and say he was following a script from the computer and these are the possibilities that could happen not that they are. I have had 2 children before and this is my third pregnancy. I'm 39 so a little older, bmi over 40 but healthy no high blood pressure just over weight. This should be the happiest time your carrying a little baby. I will now enjoy my pregnancy.

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