Baby Showers... are they the ultimate in pregnancy chic or pregnancy naffness?

[Picante]

Am thinking about it. Don't want people to think they have to buy me something though, I just see it as an excuse for my friends to get together and eat!

NAFF! I'm American and was so glad to leave this hideous, grabby custom behind.

Only to see it follow.

And yes, counting your chickens before they hatch definitely.

Also, opening presents in front of people. Tacky beyond belief.

Yuk.

I'd worry that people would feel obliged to bring a present to the shower but also bring a present after the birth and would then be bitching about me being grabby.

I think in principle its a nice idea and since you've already emailed just perhaps emphasise its a more of a friends get together.

It scares me personally to think that baby showers will end up like weddings where as a guest it costs a fortune to attend.

Have a dinner party if you want to get together with friends.

The only 'baby showr' I have attnded is one thrown for a woman who was due the same day as me, last year. She had been left by her unfaithful husband at 3 months pg, after being convinced to go for a second child by him. She needed to be made to feel supported positive and happy about her pregnancy, so her . It was funny being there and making a big fuss about her impending baby whilst being just as pregnant (we were weeks away from d-day). But I think it did help her.

However as a general rule - they are a naff idea and I never had one just as I don't go 'trick or treating' with my children or celebrate thanksgiving. It is not a tradition In have been brought up to partake in.

whoops "so her friends and family organised a shower

I'm going to change it to just a birthday party then, as the date I had in mind is just two days after my birthday. Or is it wrong to organise my own birthday party as well?!?!

You can certainly organise your own birthday party - I would never have had one after turning 18 If I hadn't!

actually I should be about that - no one cares...

I went to one recently and had never been to one before so really didn't know what to expect. The present part was really uncomfortable in my opinion. I genuinely enjoyed shopping for a pressie for her and wanted to buy her something but not knowing the correct baby shower ettiquet some had bought expensive stuff and others had bought little joke presents was a bit awkward. Games were fun. It was ok. The thought of wanting to have a girly get together is great but to me just all going out to lunch or something would be better. I just think calling it a baby shower is the problem as we don't really understand them in this country.

Yes, have a birthday get together with your friends. Problem solved

I think a pre-baby party/get-together is a much nicer idea than the traditional shower.

I have a bit of a 'superstition' issue with a full-on baby shower and I think that the time to celebrate the birth of a baby is after it's born, and not before, which is fate-tempting in the extreme (much as we all hope all will go well - and thankfully it usually does!)

I also think the full-on 'baby' focus of a shower is a little bit thoughtless about friends who might be less keen on the baby thing, or be having trouble conceiving, or just have had a miscarriage, or whatever.

So for all these reasons, I'd opt for just a nice day/night out with girlfriends and save celebrating the baby until it's actually there!

I was planning to throw one for my sister in August.

Like Thecrackfox said its nice to make a fuss of the mum. My sister has been ttc for ages and is having a tough time being pg. I want to make a fuss. DD received tonnes of presents when she was born and it was a bit overwhelming and I felt a bit too cabbaged to enjoy it.

I'll be giving her presents at the baby shower but I was going to leave it up to other guests to decide what they want to do.

I think its a nice idea but not top the extent of a baby shower list sent with invites and baby shower balloons etc.

With my group of friends we all did it with our second babies and organised each others.

It was a nice treat to each other, we organised it not at our pregnants friends house, we all made some food and snacks. non pregnant people got on the wine, of course the talk got past babies and down to sex talk and we all have a great girly night but give the pregnant friend lots of attention and presents.

Everyone brought something like small like a babygro for baby or nice bodywash for mummy etc.. not much.

We played a few silly games - basically a girls night! Plus only really close friends were invited so everyone was totally comfortable with each other.

NOthing cheesy at all. Plus its held right near the end of the pregnancy so its a nice, relaxing evening for mummy to be and to be spoiled by her friends.

go for it!

Forgot to say, when my sister was pregnant she had only heard of really cheesy baby showers and was not into the idea of it.

i held a surprise one for her and was so delighted because she was tired at the end of her pregnancy she had not seen some of her good friends for a long time (plus when baby came she was not going to see them for awhile too )

she was so glad after that i did it and really enjoyed the evening, although she thought she was just coming to mine to have a pizza and video and was going to come in her pyjamas but luckily her dh was in on it anbd convinced her to get dressed... that was lucky!

to me its an excuse to prompt your friends and family to buy you gifts.

i wouldn't do it

spending a fiver on your mate cant be that bad can it?

you normally buy your friend a present when the baby is born, when i had my baby shower many of my friends gave me a present then and they didnt give me one after. i expected that.

in fact it worked out better as alot of my friends dont have children, dont live near and work full time so it was nice to spend that evening with them before the baby was born because it was a long time before we would be spending a relaxing evening like that again.

plus you dont have to bring a present, a couple of people just brought some snacks or a bottle of wine.

my group of friends enjoy doing it for each other so if you have a bunch of mates that are up for it then why not - just leave the cranky ones out so they dont feel obliged to spend a fiver on you

my two best friends are throwing me a shower, and I can't wait.
I'm one of the first in my group of friends to have a baby, and I've found that during my pregnancy it's been tricky seeing people as I've been so knackered and our normal social events just aren't that fun. It's a nice way to get together and see all my friends before I have a baby and my focus has completley changed!
To be honest any presents will be appreciated but not expected.

I would not have the gall. I couldn't attend one either. The thought of having to play baby related games terrifies me. Dammit, I'm British!

TheProvincialLady - they dont need to be like american affairs, they can be very british, with tea, cakes and strawberries and ice creams if you like. in fact you dont need to play any games. at my friends the only game we played was i told everyone to bring a baby or toddler pic of themselves, as they arrived i had envelopes and a box in the hall, they discreetly popped their photo inside. later when most people were quite merry we passed the box around and took turns taking a photo out and guessing who was the baby. it was a great laugh!