Someone tell me that I need to get a grip!

[FifiForgot]

I need a severe talking to.

I have just (7am this morning) found out that I am expecting No2. The fact that I am pregnant is a huge shock to both DH and I, not that we weren't trying, but it took us 5 years, 3 operations and lots and lots of drugs to get DD and I was back at the infertility clinic last month!

I am in a total panic about it now! I go from thinking "oh god, how am I going to cope with a 3 year old and a full time job/a 3.7 year old and a new baby?" and "how am I going to tell DD she is no longer going to be the centre of the universe?" to worrying about less trivial concerns such as where are we going to put all the stuff from the study which will now have to be pressed into use as baby No2's room and who the hell are we going to ask to be godparents. Not to mention the fact that something could go wrong, I have the usual pains that come when I am due on.

All this is not helped by the fact that DH was a bit shocked, didn't really say anything and has now gone to work and I am on my own at home (on leave) with far too much time on my hands to sit and worry! Although we were "taking steps to have another one" neither one of us were concerned that DD may be an only one, although she is rather indulged and having to share will do her good!

This all makes me sound selfish and self-indulgent, so please feel free to tell me to get a grip!

See, I need a good talking too!

No you don't at all - you're in shock

I have a ds who's 4 and a dd whos 13 months, and when i found out i was pregnant with dd i was really worried about how ds would take it - we lost his twin brother and he had been the centre of our universe since... but he dotes on her completely. I think a lot of it was that we always made it sound such a positive thing - 'Mammys having a baby and you are going to be a big brother, and thats such an important job' ect. Made him feel very involved in everything we did. Yes, he hasa his moments with hr, but thats just to be expected.

Congratulations! And good luck!

"how am I going to tell DD she is no longer going to be the centre of the universe?" You don't, you tell her she's having a baby brother/sister.

"oh god, how am I going to cope " You just will

FifiForgot - Don't panic! I read your post and just could not NOT reply. I am pregnant with number 2 and it was a huge shock when we found out as well because it took us a while to conceive number DS as I wasn't ovulating blah blah blah and it took the doctors a while to take us seriously and to figure it out. DH was definitely in shock when he found out and pretty much said he hoped it had happened later (we would definitely have wanted number 2). Anyway, much as I was tempted to hound him into accepting what can't be changed, I left him to it and he came round the idea a couple of weeks later and is really excited now about number 2 and how close the age gap between DS and the new baby will be! So let your DH process it in his own time... Sometimes, that's all they need.

My two will be 21 months apart and we have a two-bedroom house so feel comforted that we are going to have it even worse! LOL!

Congratulations!!!

You're in shock, you only found out this morning, you've got about 8 months to worry about the practicalities, and you haven't had to go through all the worry and hassle of last time to get pregnant again. All sounds good to me! Don't worry about 'stuff' just think about the teeny tiny baby inside you, and enjoy! If you need to do something, plan a lovely dinner for you and your DH tonight, tell him you're making something special (or ordering a special takeaway!) and you can both have a proper chat then.

PS you're allowed to start worrying about 'stuff' when you get to 39+3 like me and reality starts to hit.... ... but then you've got all the 'hey chill out man' hormones to help you, so ignore me if I sound far too relaxed

Thanks for your replies.

I am feeling much calmer now, its started to sink in, but I still can't believe that the test sitting on the bathroom window is positive. I/we thought it would take a couple of months at least, or might not happen at all. I think DH is going to take a few days to come to terms with it. I think I'm going to just TRY and relax until I have my scan at the EPU in a couple of weeks. Until then I will worry at every twinge!

I know I will cope - everyone else does so there is no reason why we won't. My control freak nature doesn't cope well with the unexpected