Pregnant and confused

[cappa]

I have been in relationship for eleven years with a man twenty years older than me ( im 37) he has three children already and didnt particularly want anymore but said he would never stop me having any if i wanted.

He knew i was not using contraception and i had discussed wanting a child he tactfully avoided subject. But he never abstained.

We have just broken up and i am pregnant. And I do believe a child should have mother and father in happy home in an ideal world. He has gone back to his previous partner. And me being pregnant will cause rows with her and their children(all over 20). And my dilema is to tell him or to not i know he has right to know and i know the child will want answers.

Or do i go alone and not tell and bring up child on my own not wanting anything financially anyway.

I don't see why they have to be two different scenarios tbh.

If you tell him and he wants no involvement then you'll still have the option to go it alone.

I think that he has a right to know. What he does with that information is then up to him.

Best of luck

You know you have to tell him

You should tell him. He has a right to know.

You never know - your ideal word might still be round the corner (not necessarily with the biological dad though). These things always happen when we least expect them. You might find that being a single parent turns out to be your personal ideal world.

Good luck!

You should tell him.
It's not for you to worry about rows with the mother of his grown-up children. After all they were apart for eleven years! She surely didn't think he spent all that time alone pining for her.

A man of 57 ought to know that the usual result of sex without contraception is pregnancy. So he can hardly pretend to be surprised or to have been deceived.

Tell him. It's not going to bring him back, though, nor should it. He's legally required to pay child support, though if you can support yourself and don't need benefits you can let him off. But I don't see why you should. He is the father.

I would tell him. I did. My DD's 'father', now commonly known as 'the donor' was 23 years older than me. He really didn't GAF. But he knows. Yours might just keep it to himself as well.

Having DD all to myself was absolutely wonderful.

ahhhmmm i had doubts to tell the dad of my baby that i am pregnant but a lot of friends pushed me to tell him that he is going to be a father, that he deserve to know...

so i spoke to him and i got a positive answer that he's going to marry me and be a family, support me all the way...his initial reactions made me feel heaven, i was so happy, i wasnt disappointed of my decision of telling him everything.

and then one day, after all the plans we had, i got an sms from him saying that i have to abort the baby and if i choose to keep it then i have to do it on my own and he's out of my life....

i was so shocked, i wasnt able to reply him anything. and until now, he didnt hear a single word from me and i didnt hear anything from him too...

i dont regret having a baby but i fully regret the fact that i told him, i wish i didnt...

my advice to you is you still have to tell him but you just have to be prepared whatever his response will be....

good luck... x