4 weeks pregnant and terrified please help. Long sorry.

[Confusedandterrified]

Not sure if this is the right place to post but here goes, I have name changed by the way.
I am married and have a 9 month old DS and found out last night that I am pregnant (about 4 weeks). We have been careful I am on the pill and we don't have sex very often at moment so this has come as a BIG shock and we are actually quite gutted.
I only went back to work after my maternity leave a week ago and i just can't quite believe this is happening. I also have the threat of redundancy hanging over me and I'm not sure if my job is safe. Our home is not big enough for another baby and we cannot afford to move. Both me and DH just do not feel ready for another baby emotionally and financially.
We would like more time with our DS alone and although it probably wouldn't happen, i don't want us to end up resenting this baby because it wasn't planned etc. We would like another baby in the future but not now. I also haven't been taking care of myself, I haven't taken folic acid, I have taken ibuprofen, been drinking although not heavily and I am terrified I will have damaged the baby.
We have talked about it and I am going to see the doctor today to talk about what our options are. We feel that termination is the best option but we are worried that we will regret it, I just feel utterley guilty and shitty but I don't see an alternative. I don't even know what a termination at this stage would involve. Would it affect my future fertility?
Please don't flame me, I am already doing that to myself, what I really need is some advice and support. We can't talk to family and friends about this as they would judge us.

In terms of damage to the baby - ibupofen I think is only a major problem in third trimester, none of our mothers ever took folic acid and I don't have spina bifida. I drank 2/3 of a bottle of wine the day before I found out I was pg (I would have been 4+5). I told my GP about this who said that at that stage not much passes from the mother to the baby anyway (but obviously don't do it again). She seems OK!

I'd definitely take some time to think and make sure you do what is right for you.

Well I have had a medical termination, so can give you some experience of that, from a practical point of view anyway. I went into the hospital on a sunday and took 2 tablets, the tuesday after I had to arrive at 8am and had some drug inserted into me. Then it was just a case of passing everything into bed pans which were checked by nurses. At midday I was done and allowed to go home. It's obviously upsetting etc but for me, at that point in my life it as the right thing to do (won't go into my reasons). It didn't affect my fertility at all, I now have a 3 month old baby.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do xx

i have no experience of terminations but i just want to say that you are doing the right thing by getting all the information rather than burying your head in the sand. your DH is being very supportive by the sounds of things and from what you say, it seems like you will both come to the decision that is right for you and your situation. i will be thinking of you during this difficult time.

I'm not going to namechange as I have posted about this before. I had a termination 6 years ago, for purely selfish reasons. It was a total kneejerk reaction to being pregnant, and I had booked the appointment at the clinic before I'd even told dh (dp then) that I was pg. We never even discussed the possibility of keeping the baby.

I will always look back on that decision with regret. Not because it was necessarily the wrong thing for me at the time, but because I made the decision so quickly, and I never gave myself any time or space to really think about it. Your dh sounds wonderful, and you will make the right decision for all of you, I am sure.

Sending you strength.