Counselling in pregnancy - help please

[confusedpoppy]

I am going through a very difficult time with my partner at the moment. I am 25 weeks pregnant, pregnancy was planned and I'm very happy about it. Our relationshp has a very long and complicated history and throughout this pregnancy I have felt very much alone in it. We've had really tough time as a couple and recently my partner has been behaving towards me in a way that's unacceptable and shows no respect towards me or this baby. We have no time to waste now as we should start preparing for the baby's arrival and the birth.

Is there anywhere in the UK specialising in councelling in pregnancy? Alone or as a couple? The only ones I've found are abortion related which couldn't be more inappropriate to me. Relate is also very expensive and was wondering if there's anything else? Or do I need to go via my midwife (which I'd rather not do).

Thank you for your help.

I'd appreciate any advice of who / where to contact...I'm not from the UK though have lived here for over 10 years so have no family or support so it's hard to see way forward to life alone with a newborn baby.

Can you speak to your gp and get reffered that way? During my 2nd pregnancy, my mw thought she spotted signs of PND from my first birth. My gp arranged counselling sessions for me. Was pretty quick too.

thanks - maybe I should go that route. I definitely do not have PND nor any negative feelings about the baby, quite the opposite! I feel the happiest I've ever been and cant wait for the baby. It's my relationship that's in a mess and in its current shape, not the right place for a baby.

I hope it gets better for you and you manage to sort something out. I'm sure that an open, honest discussion with your gp and s/he'll be able to set you on the right path for professional help

Hi Confused - I would call Relate - they cahrge on a sliding scale and can do it pro bono if necessary. DH and I had some problems in the past and found that even after just a couple of sessions our relationship really changed for the better and has continued to grow stronger and stronger based on what we learned. I highly recommend them!

Sorry to hear about this, pregnancy is a stressful time and we put ourselves under pressure and evaluate relationships in much closer detail than we might normally. Not saying you are over analysing things at all. I think you start to look out for your little one and wonder about the relationship you are bringing him / her in to....
I am not sure about specific pregnancy counselling - it sounds more like you need counselling about your relationship and the need for this has stepped up due to the baby being on its way. You could try relate although its not free. Sorry I'm not being very helpful....hopefully someone will be along soon who might know of specific counselling services but good luck and remember you always have the mn ladies so you are not alone. Without the good people of mn I would be in a padded ambulance long ago!

Thank you all I was wondering in case there's any specific routes for counselling when you're pregnant / pregnancy-specialised counselling as it sort of makes things much more imminent.
Thank you for suggestions and support. I will call relate as well as talk to GP. At the moment, my partner is not keen on counselling and doesn't consider this as urgent as me - as there's still months to go until baby is due?! I think that's so much rubbish and I'd like to start physically and mentally preparing for birth and life after, and not knowing if it's just on my own, is incredibly hard.

I think either relate or your GP will "rush things through" for you on the basis that your pg. This was what my midwife told me when my relationship was very rocky at the beginning of my pgy.

Just to update, GP says there is 3 months wait list and makes no difference if you're pregnant or not cos everyone has a need....hmm. So went to Relate instead and they will offer some discounted prices which is great! Thanks to all.

You can also go on the BACP website, where most professional counsellors in the UK are registered.

wam.bacp.co.uk/wam/SeekTherapist.exe?NEWSEARCH

You can specify 'pregnancy' as a special interest in the search field. Certain counsellors are specifically trained in issues around pregnancy, birth and parenting. Find the ones local to you and phone each of them to get a feel for their personalities. Your gut feeling will let you know when you have found the right person.

Pregnancy can shine a light on the problems in the relationship, but it can also bond couples like never before, once the unspoken things are said.

Good luck. Also don't forget to ask for support elsewhere. Visit friends and/or family. Dont be afraid to ask for help, and if your partner chooses not to attend counselling, please still go yourself - you are carrying out a precious task and need nurturing.

Best wishes,

Nicola