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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Getting closer to due date First baby!!

33 replies

shellmc · 04/05/2009 11:13

Hiya all,

I just wanna say how im feeling at the moment to see if anyone else feels or felt the same.

I am 37 weeks 4 days pregnant and due on 21st may, i am very excited and cant wait to meet my baby and to hold her/him.
But deep down i am actually very very scare, not the fact ov aving the baby but going tru the labour and birth.
I keep thinking to myself what if something happens?? Wot if things go wrong?? What if i cant do it?? I know obv becoz i dont know wot to expect and its all gonna be new to me, that im thinking this, but i am scared.
I keep thinking that wen labour starts im not gonna cope and panic and wont beable to breath, i know this may sound really stupid and iv heard soo many people say u just know wen its time and ur body knows wot to do.
Did amyone else feel like this??? or am i just weird??

Love Shell and baby bump xxxx

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doulalc · 04/05/2009 11:25

You're not weird at all!! Perfectly normal to wonder about the "what ifs".

Have you any antenatal classes? Have you been reading much in the way of what to expect during labour and birth? (hopefully not too much as sometimes it can be overwhelming!) Do you have good support lined up to be in with you? If partner is going in, is he familiar with what things he can do to help you....suggestions for positioning, relaxation, comfort, helping the labour progress, etc.?

Trust your body to do the job it was designed to to. Listen to it....if you feel you need to get up, get up....if you need to move about, move about....consider labouring in a tub or shower if you feel the warm water will be comforting to you. Walk the halls....sit in a chair...try a birth ball.

For most women, labour starts as a slow process....you usually get to ease into it and find what works for you in handling the contractions as things progress. You take one at a time and after one is over, you are a step closer to baby.

JessicasMummy281103 · 04/05/2009 11:26

Hey

This is so normal to feel this way...I was terrified when I was due with my daughter and when I was in labour I cried and said I can't do this but it is true what is said...you do just cope and deal with it as it comes...keep thinking positive and that noting will go wrong, if, in the unlikely case, it does you will be in the best hands possible and they will help you through it every step of the way.
Being scared is all part of the excitement of the final result...you'll be fine
xx

shellmc · 04/05/2009 21:11

Hiya, doulalc and jessicasmummy

Thankyou for your opinions at least i know im not the only one petrified ov whats gonna happen.
I have been to antenatal classes amd i found them really interesting and it went tru what to expect at different stages ect, so i do av an idea ov what is gonna happen and what to look out for ect, im just scared ov the whole thought!!
My hubby is gonna be in with me and he is brill been giving me massages regular and always making sure im okay and comfy so i know he is gonna be great, im wanting to try the birthing pool during labour if possible, and also wud like to keep as mobile as possible.
I dont like the thort ov medication weird i may sound and prob wen the time comes il be screaming for it ha ha.
Can anyone explain what the pain is like???
Shell xxxxx

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doulalc · 04/05/2009 21:28

It is going to vary from person to person. I have had women who were at the end of their labour, in transition, and wondering when it was going to get harder. Have also had mothers who needed a good deal of support in early labour. Have some who managed very well with some of the components of hypnobirthing or meditation.

Yes, it hurts....for some women it won't be too much more than painful menstrual cramps. For others it will be very challenging....but contractions come and go...they rise and fall, like waves rolling in and out. It is not one continuous contraction and you have short breaks inbetween. You have many options for comfort...positioning, birth ball, birthing pool or shower, aromatherapy (jasmine, lavendar, and grapefruit oils have worked well for women I have worked with), massage, pressure points, heat and cold therapy, walking, slow dancing, music, visualisation, depending on where you are things to eat and drink, pillows and blanket from home, extra labour support with a doula, etc.. Of course, there are pain med options that can be used as well.

Some women turn inward and focus on their breathing..imagine themselves somewhere else..sing along to the songs in their head or even out loud....chanting, moaning can be very helpful. Some do better with focusing externally....often on partner, something in the room, a picture or postcard.

In the scheme of things, it truly is a relatively short period of time for most women. Once things are well underway, many women will find that by that same time the next day, they will be cuddling their baby.

shellmc · 04/05/2009 21:36

Thankyou again doulalc!! :-)

Are u a midwife? I have heard many people explain that the pain is like strong period cramps, and that u do manage to relax inbetween contractions, and many many ov them av told me to use the gas and air as that really does help u get tru the contractions.
I just hope that wen the time comes i can stay relaxed and not panic too much as i know that will make me feel worse.
I guess its jut all the not knowing wot to expect.
I feel like ill be the sort that will wanna go in2 myself wen im getting pain and to try and stay focused.
I know its all gonna be worth it and i cant wait to meet our baby.

Luv shell and baby bump xxx

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Confuzzeled · 04/05/2009 22:03

I felt the same before my dd was born, I was so scared I'd have panic attacks. I'm now pregnant again and I'm looking forward to the birth so I can meet my baby.

When I was pregnant people always seemed to tell me horror stories about long awful labours, but since having my dd most people I know with kids had simple births like mine.

I'm the worlds biggest pansy when it comes to pain but I had my dd in a birthing pool with only gas and air which I didn't like much anyway. It hurts when you have the contraction and in between theres no pain at all, you can have a normal conversation, have a wee drink send a text etc... I thought it would be hours of solid pain but it's brief spells of pain that go past very quickly and time goes into a crazy warp, you'll wonder how it all happened so fast.

I have one friend who actually enjoyed giving birth, she said it never got more painful than a period. For me it was like period pain with bad constipation and pushing was like trying to push a big poo. I ended up on my hands and knees in the end with dh lifting me out the water on contractions, gravity helped get dd out.

Nothing is going to stop you being scared but if it was that bad woman would never have more than one child.

Good luck

doulalc · 04/05/2009 22:12

I'm a labour and postpartum doula/childbirth educator/lactation counselor and have been teaching antenatal/newborn care/and breastfeeding classes for a good number of years.

Over the years I've found what helped the majority of women I've worked with were being in warm water...physical and emotional support/encouragement from partner and/or other support person....breathing or moaning away the contractions...meditation...forgetting about the clock....and changing positions as you feel the need (lying in bed, especially on your back, is often the last place you should be unless you have to be there or if you are truly comfortable there).

You will do fine....your body knows what to do. You would give birth even if you slept through it (although that is not an option!), and it sounds like your dh will be a great support for you...

For now, pamper yourself....get massages, spend time with friends and family, take care of any last minute things you want to have done before baby arrives, spend quiet time with hubby, and rest when you can.

jstock · 05/05/2009 09:34

Shell,
THANK YOU!! you wrote exactly what I was feeling. It feels like you're trying to prepare for something but you're not entirely sure what you're preparing for!
I'm worried that I'll just start to cry and wont be able to communicate with anyone.
I feel much better for reading the replies.
Just wanted to say thanks for airing it :0

SesIsNowCountingdownthedays · 05/05/2009 09:49

Another one in the same boat here. My due date is less than a week away!!! (Sunday!)
I think it's just the unknown. I feel like I'm as informed as I can be having got books and attended NCT classes but I won't know exactly how to cope until I'm there!

I'm also aware first babies are often late so trying not to bank on the arrival definitely happening within the week.

Good to hear from others in the same situation though and get the advice of others - thanks!

Confuzzeled · 05/05/2009 09:59

Go get your toe nails done, you'll be able to see them soon

shellmc · 05/05/2009 15:17

:-) Hello, ohhh so nice to hear that there are others out there who are feeling the same as me, and im plzd uv read my thread and read tru the different comments people are posting it really does help!!

Confuzzeled- thats a gud idea to get my toe nails dun it will be a relief to beable to see them again ha ha, Thanks for your comment and sharing your experience with me, i am thinking ov the birthing pool but obv cant be certain if ill get to use it, just av to keep my fingers crossed.

Doulalc- A big thanku for the advice, i feel ill want to try and stay mobile to help me tru labour and to try different positions the last thing i want is to be stuck laid down on the bed lol, I do like the thought ov giving birth while asleep :-) ha ha but i know thats not gonna happen!! Im trying to relax and enjoy the last few weeks.

To Sesiscountingdownthedays, ohhh ur approaching your due date now, ul av to keep us posted :-)the advice is great on this site everyone is really kind and help each other. Thanks soo much xxxxx

Love shell xxxx

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SesIsNowCountingdownthedays · 05/05/2009 16:56

Shell - will definitely keep you informed. However, feeling a bit disconcerted this afternoon as I saw MW and have to go for a presentation scan as she's not sure if the baby's breech. I've got an appointment for Thurs 11am but she wants to try and get one sooner if poss. After all my thoughts and worries about labour, I've now been told that may mean a CS and trying to get my head round the fact that what I've been gearing up to may not happen the way I planned at all!
Obviously the baby may not be breach so who knows!? My head is spinning!!

shellmc · 05/05/2009 17:23

Hiya ses,

ohh hope ya can get a scan asap, then at least u will know for certain, wetha baby is breech or not.
My baby was lying breech 4 quite a while but last 2 apps head was down, last app head 3 5ths down but obv babys can still turn and move rite up till LOL.

I hope all goes well with scan hun let us know!! What are ur plans for birth av u dun a birthing plan o u just gonna take it as it comes??

Love and best wishes shell xxx

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SesIsNowCountingdownthedays · 05/05/2009 19:29

Thanks Shell
MW phoned back and they can't fit me in until 11am Thurs. DH has a meeting about 15 mins away from the hospital at 10am so he's hoping it's a quick meeting and he can be there. I don't like scans v much anyway as I had to missed mcs last year detected with scans.

I have a blank birth plan that I downloaded from Boots.com to fill in the gaps. At the moment it's all in my head. I'd like to go as natural as poss and try a water birth but I'm not going to rule anything out either!

When's your due date?

jstock - are you still lurking? When are you due?

shellmc · 05/05/2009 19:45

Hello again!! :-)

So uv got ur scan on thursday, u will av to keep us posted how it goes, hopfully dh will be able to make it after the meeting.
Obv as u have sed u dont like scans with wot as happened, if dh cant make it do u av anyone else that cud go along with u just for support??

I downloaded a birthing plan, its half filled out at the moment.

Im due in just over 2 weeks- the 21st may.

Im with u and wanting to go as natural as poss.

Love shell xxxx

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welshbyrd · 05/05/2009 20:38

im 40+3 weeks and its my 4th, and im scared too even though ive been though it before. Honestly though, its worth every minute. If it was that bad, us women would all stick to just having one

Goodluck, hope you have an easy and quick time of it x

shellmc · 06/05/2009 09:53

Hiya welshbyrd!!

Hopefully not too much longer for u to wait now.
Did u go on time with ur other 3??
Any tips?? LOL Did u av straight 4ward births prev?? Which wud u say is the worst labour or the actual birth??

Love Shell and baby bump xxx

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welshbyrd · 06/05/2009 10:09

i went 39+2 days on all previous births, all straight forward normal deliveries

So this overdue stuff is all new to me, getting induce if had nothing by saturday

My 1st labour was the best, it was quick, and didnt have any pain relief. Hmmmmmm tbh its all down to the indevidual person, and indervidual birth. But honestly please try not to worry, it will all be over soon, and you will have your baby there so have made it all worthwhile

goodluck x

shellmc · 06/05/2009 10:13

Thanks welshbyrd!!

Im gonna try not to worry as much i know its all gonna be worth it, and like soo many ov u av sed it cant be that bad as ladys go on to have more than one. LOL

Thanx and good luck to u xxxx

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jstock · 06/05/2009 10:30

Hiya ses, due date is 19th may, going through days of feeling like warrior woman and bring it on and other days of freaking out now, I hope your little one plays ball for you and lets you have the birth experience you want.
Let us know how the scan goes.
Fx

jstock · 06/05/2009 10:40

I hope you get some movement soon welshbyrd!!

SesIsNowCountingdownthedays · 06/05/2009 15:35

jstock - not long for you either then!

I met up with girls from NCT this morning. We were saying how frustrating it is that this big event, no one can give you a specific date for! Could be anywhere from 37-42 weeks really!

That being said I'm still thinking I'd rather that than an elective CS... Tomorrow will come round soon enough though. Am sitting on my gym ball again in the hope that will help!

welshbyrd - I think you're right. In a few months, none of this will matter. We'll be too engrossed in nappies, feeding, etc!

shell - think the key is (somehow) trying to relax through it all!

naomi83 · 06/05/2009 18:23

A bit of post-birth perspective: instead of writing a birth plan, keep this in your head-if labour starts naturally you want to try as natural a birth as possible, as your body is obviously capable. if you need induction (and i mean, need-ie- baby in distress/no fluid/42 weeks plus) then take epidural and except any way of birth that saves your baby's life.

shellmc · 08/05/2009 11:25

Hiya naomi83,

Thanks for the comment but its worried me now that if i need to be induced, that my body isnt capable!! Is there more complications that wud arise if i needed to be set off?? Iv heard ov wemon who have been given a sweep ect and still had a normal birth xxx

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naomi83 · 08/05/2009 13:49

so sorry, didn't mean to worry you more. Some women do go on to have easy, intervention-free births after induction, but many do not. Induction increases the chances of intervention, not because it starts off a chain of intervention (this is bollocks btw!) but because it only kick-starts, and often your body still needs more help. Some women need help with birthing, two hundred years ago they used to die, nowdays they have intervention and give birth to beautiful healthy babies. Also, just because you need intervention with baby number 1 doesn't mean that future babies won't come out by themselves. The human body is a wonderful thing, and modern medicine is pretty great too.