Tears at 41 weeks...I cannot seem to cheer myself up!

[FlirtyThirty]

So, I'm 41 weeks today, with a failed sweep and an unfavourable Bishop's Score under my belt, and an induction booked for mid-week. Now the tears have started and I am much more upset than I thought I'd be about this news. I'm pretty pragmatic usually and whilst I wanted to attempt a natural birth, I was not ruling out drugs etc, so it's not simply the potential medicalisation of the birth I'm upset about. Though increasingly it's a concern. I guess I just thought it would be different, and that by now I'd have a baby to cuddle not a sheet to read on oxytocin!

I have to go to a friend's party tomorrow and am absolutely dreading everyone asking me why I haven't had baby yet. I suspect I am emotional enough for them to tip me over the edge, and I really don't want to cry when I know they are only trying to be nice.

I just want this baby to arrive now, and am feeling completely powerless. I cannot concentrate on anything else and I don't know how to cheer myself up . I've been totally fine (emotionally) through this pregnancy until today and now I just want to go to bed and not get up again until it's time to have the baby. I feel really low. DH is lovely but I can't explain to him why I feel sad, it doesn't really make sense. And besides, he'll just say that it's not long until baby comes anyway. Plus, everyone says, well, you still have 5 days til induction and baby could come in that time, which I know is true...but problem is, every hour seems ages, let alone a day...or 5! I am suddenly obsessed with the passing of time.

Oh, God...I really need to just get over this and get on with things...but I'm just so sad.

I was a bit like this when my baby was late although not tearful, just frustrated as I felt I could not get anything done, or go anywhere on my own - just in case! Is it your first baby? If so, can I give you one piece of advice - keep busy, but in a restful way. ie read a book, watch something interesting on tv, meet up with friends. No-one will ask you why the baby hasn't come yet - if they do they are stupid!!!! Mine was 11 days late and I gave birth on the morning of the day I was due to be induced. Also, you can choose to not be induced so early - tell them you want to push it back a few days. I just wish they wouldn't give you a 'due date', and give you a rough guide instead. Babies will always come when they are ready - it's nature.

hi there
didn't want you to go unanswered. I am 38 weeks and have already been asking LO to think about coming soon!
I can understand your apprehension about induction. This is my first baby so no personal experience but two friends recently induced and although like you, it was not what they planned they said it was OK and great to meet baby.
Even pragmatic people have their fed up days so don't beat yourself up. Can you put your feet up with an absorbing DVD? Warm bubble bath? Sometimes feeling sad doesn't make sense and you just have to accept that you feel crappy and go with it a little...
Sorry no real advice, just feeling it with you. Your baby will soon be here to meet you.
Best wishes x

I had to be induced with my DD at 42 weeks five months ago. I felt exactly like you, so sad and tearful. I had no idea how stressful being overdue was. And then well meaning friends saying "are you still hear then?" was enough to reduce me to tears. Will this baby ever come??? She did albeit after induction and the moment I held her I forget all my tears and frustrations. She was worth the wait.

The end is in sight now. Your baby will be here within the next week. Try to pamper yourself a little and forget about labour, it'll start soon. Once your baby is here you'll forget all of this.

You poor thing. My first baby was born at 41 weeks and one day. You get all geared up for the big day - then nothing happens.

Distraction is the only thing to do. Try and rest, read, watch movies, - the time will pass. The way you feel is entirely understandable.

Thank you ladies. Your kind words have made me cry..but in a better way! :-) Just nice to know someone's listening, I suppose, and that being irrational is sort of ok.
Wil take your advice and go and try and busy myself again...
x

Hi Flirty - I didn't realise you were overdue. It's CE from the first timers with spring babies thread!

As you may remember I had Maddie at 40+13 in the end after being induced at 40+12. Those last 12 days were 12 of the worst of my life - I was starting to think I was going insane (really) and that I had depression or something. All you can think about is the baby and the birth, and nothing can cheer you up.

I too had to go to a massive family party at 40+8 and it was utter hell - felt like everyone was staring and saying "My god you're huge!" (they were) and I felt like a failure for not producing the baby for everyone to hold!

I cleaned a lot and sorted drawers, and watched DVD's (millions!). I didn't really leave the house much at the end as I was so grumpy and tearful, plus a bit scared to be on my own! I think I told DP at 40+10 that I didn't even want the baby any more I was so fed up!

You will get through this and if you can just think "Only X more days maximum til I meet my baby" rather than "This is never going to end" you will be ok.

I'll stick around if you want to chat as I TRULY know how you feel xx

I don't think being upset at 41 weeks is irrational in the slightest, it's completely normal.

I went slightly insane on my due date, it's been such an important date for so long and then it passes. I was ranting that 'I hadn't signed up for this' because pg is only meant to be 40 weeks. I also became bizarrely angry at people who were not overdue looking for labour signs . I truly believed you were only allowed to birth if you were overdue

FWIW though you don't know that you will need inducing. My advice is to completely overdo it - gravity is a powerful force and even if it doesn't work you will end up genuinely exhausted and will sleep as well as is possible for an overdue pg woman.

I birthed though at 40+4 so have never been as pregnant as you (therefore I probably don't know what I'm talking about)

Flirty cut yourself some slack girl ! Going overdue is really miserable and you are allowed to feel sad that

a. You expected to meet your LO by now and instead you are still here with all the nasties associated with being pregnant, and

b. You are faced with a birth that you didn't plan for or want.

Having been there twice (DD1 = 11 days overdue, DD2 = 10 days overdue and I am due DC3 today and no sign whatsoever) my advice would be to try to book in something to do every day (that can be cancelled) e.g. cinema trip, massage, coffee with friends, and so this for a week so you are not scrabbling around thinking of things to do each day. I would also say that you don't have to be induced. Some babies take longer than others to cook, and you are not overdue until 42 weeks +. You can refuse the induction and be monitored instead, but by then I suspect you will be so desperate to meet LO you will accept the induction path (which I did with DD1).

HTH and take care of yourself

How are you today flirty???

I'm thinking you might be off having your baby if you are not posting on here!?! (fingers crossed)

If not, hope these posts have helped and you are feeling a little calmer xxx