Vanishing Twin

[staylucky]

Hey everyone,

I'm now 30 weeks and haven't really thought much about this since early on in my pregnancy. But thought I would ask to see if anyone else has been through a similar situation.

About 6 weeks in I started bleeding on and off. Having been through mc in the past I kind of resigned myself to see what would happen and waited it out. It stopped then at 9 weeks I had what I can only describe as my waters breaking. I was sure at this point that we had lost our baby and told family as much. I went to the docs more as a formality to see if I would need a D&C and was sent along for an early scan.

To our amazement we had one tiny baby with heart beating and one empty sac. Best day of my life, ever!

The hospital kind of brushed over what may have happened and in all honesty I was just so relived to see that heartbeat that I didn't give it too much thought either.

30 weeks now and we have a beautiful, lively little boy kicking around inside and we feel really really blessed. I've done a bit of googling and come up with the term vanishing twin but have never spoken to anyone who's actually experienced it themselves.

I'm especially interested as to whether once baby is born he will feel any sense of loss. I know this sounds ridiculous but I hear that twin survivors can be a bit tetchy and hard to settle?

Either way would be nice to hear from anyone in the same situation. Sorry for ramble xxxxx

Hi

My experience was a little different to yours, as I had a straightforward pregnancy, and was only ever expecting one child, I thought. After delivery, however, I delivered a double plascenta - it was huge - and was told that I may well have conceived twins, but one failed to thrive.

Because I hadn't known earlier, it really didn't feel real to me, and my little boy never experienced any sense of loss that I can discern, though I kept an eye on him. Funnily enough I mentioned it to him this week in a discussion (we always end up talking about big issues late at night) and he didn't react at all - he's a very sensitive child and would have mentioned if he had any sense of loss - though he certainly was tetchy and hard to settle. I put that down more to the venteuse delivery, however.

HTH - I'd be interested in reading about others' experiences too.

My twin was still born and I've never felt any sense of loss tbh.

Honestly, now I'm an adult (and mum), I can see how heartbreaking it must have been for mum and can sometimes feel sad about my lost sibling (I was an only child as well) but as a child, I never felt any "loss" iyswim

My youngest had a vanishing twin, or at least, I bled and was scanned the same as you, expecting only a dead baby, and there was a live baby (ds3) and an empty sac. He is only 6 now and does not yet know he might have had a twin (I feel he is too young to deal with that knowledge) so he can't tell me if he feels he is missing half of himself yet, but I can assure you he was not hard to settle as a baby and is a gorgeous, well-adjusted little boy.

My mother had a mc when she was expecting my sister and was told she had lost the baby (tmi but passed fetus). A while later they discovered she was still pg and my very little sis is now 18.

When I was pregnant with my son 12yrs ago two babies were picked up on the ultrasound but only one had survived - that was at 20wks. I never mc'd and was told the fetus would just be absorbed.

When my son was about three he started telling people "my brother was going to come with me but he had to go back" - I don't know where he got that from but I'd never told him.

I told him when he was older and he says he often wonders what it would have been like if his twin had survived and sometimes he feels sad about it but I don't think it's a big issue for him.

My ds was twin to 'vanishing' one. I had a scan at 7 weeks after a previous ectopic. It showed one twin at 6.5 weeks looking fine and another at about 5.5 weeks. I was warned that I had either ovulated/conceived them a week apart or one was struggling. Another scan at 10.5 weeks showed there to be just one (healthy) foetus and the other, as you said, had just been reabsorbed and vanished. I had no bleeding and would never have known had it not been for the early scan. It's very common apparently, just that most women don't know as all traces have disappeared by the dating scan.

Ds is fine, although I know that he might well find out when he's older and, like ninjacat says, just wonder out of curiosity.

after my friend gave birth the consultant came back to the room to show her the placenta! because it had 2 umbilical cords.
so, she'd had a twin but it hadn't survived. he thought she might like to see. she actually didn't, but anyway

her little boy is the most placid, easy to settle child I know. he's a lovely little fellow and doesn't seem to have been affected by the loss of his twin.

Thankyou for all your messages. I'm glad that there don't seem to be any residual effects.

I think that really it doesn't matter what this little lad puts us through as far as sleepless nights go. We're just thankful he's here.

Just out of interest any left handed children out of those you mentioned?

Hiya, I had a 'vanashing twin' in my IVF pregnancy, 2 embryos were replaced and at my 6 week scan I had 2 sacs but only one baby. They said that the other baby didn't go on to develop and my body ended up 'absorbing it' (I never bled or anything). There was absolutely no indication that there was ever another baby at my 12 week scan and they said it's actually really common but the twin 'vanishes' so early that most people don't realise there was ever another twin.

My DH would have been a twin but his mum had a miscarriage. She thought she'd lost the baby and as they didn't have scans then, she was more than surprised when weeks later she realised she was still PG! My DH has never felt a loss and hasn't really even thought about it much. Interestingly he is left handed and he often says it's because he was a twin!

Too early to tell a dominant hand with ds (2.5), especialy as his dad is almost completely embidextrous!