Pregnancy - Mixed feelings

[chuggy]

Hi,

This is my first post on here and my first baby too! I am almost certain that this is completely normal, but I am 29 weeks pregnant and have had a few hassles through the pregnancy (baby had an echogenic bowel at 20 weeks which caused us a lot of a worry). We had a follow up scan at 28 weeks and all looks fine, bowel seems not to be as bad too....

Soo, really I should be looking forward to having the baby here and my new life as a mum...but really at this moment in time I wonder why on earth we have decided to have this baby. I am so scared that she will be born and that I resent her as I am not sure that I am at all ready for the changes that motherhood will bring.

I constantly burst into tears over nothing or things that a normal person would cope with...is this hormonal? Will I be different when the baby arrives as I could not imagin how on earth I will cope with the demands of a newborn as I cannot even cope with the simplest things at the moment...

Anyway, didnt mean this to be a rant and I just wondered if anyone else felt like this and if so, how did it all work out?

Thanks!

Sorry you're feeling this way chuggy. I didn't want your post to go unanswered - especially as you sound pretty low. I'm sure someone will be along in a bit who feels the same way as you - but all I can say is that your hormones go absolutely wild when you're pregnant, I've always been an absolute cow to my husband (pregnancy no 3). My experience is that as soon as your darling baby arrives, you fall in love with it and can't think of anything else.

Sounds like you've had a worrying pregnancy so far - did you really have to wait 8 weeks with all that stress? Not surprised you're feeling hormonal... I'm 29 weeks too, and there's a good antenatal thread for everyone due in July - are you on it already?

I wonder if you might be suffering from ante-natal depression?

Have a look in the mental health topic, I think there was a quite recent thread about AND.

I have antenatal depression myself, and am slowly getting to a point where I am looking forward to the baby and actually believe I will be able to cope! Definitely wasn't the case about two months ago.

aww chuggy, I think I have felt like that at various points through each of my 3 pregnancies.
the first one was unplanned, but the next two were very much planned and wanted but I still sometimes get that feeling of OMG, what are we doing???

it IS scary, and it's normal to worry about how much your life will change. and it will change.
but you know what? when you see her for the first time you'll just fall in love. you'll be so besotted that all of those changes are just more than worth it.

and yes, you're probably very hormonal at the moment which is making you tearful. In my expereince that lasts for a little while after baby is born too, so remember to take it easy, make sure your husband/partner is looking after you and just enjoy your baby in those first few weeks.

i definitely felt this way - and then read stupid books, like Rachel Cusk's This Life's Work (don't read it), that made me think motherhood was going to be some kind of living hell and i'd never feel like a human being again. By the time my son arrived though, i had definitely calmed down, and was just so happy to see him.

be aware of PND and the signs, but chances are you will cope just fine.

Thanks for the messages everyone. After a really bleak weekend, I feel so much better this morning (God knows why on a Monday morning!). I guess it must be hormonal as nothing is any different today...

Husband has been great and does so much for me (which of course goes unappreciated!). I think I have spent too much time reading baby books and scaring myself about the nightmare that is about to happen come July.

Thanks again for the messages, I think I will start posting more on here and stop worrying about things myself. I'm not yet on the July ante-natal thread but I think I will introduce myself on there too.