Mums to be with previous miscarriages are you concerned or unattached emotionally??

[peteypuss]

Hi Is anyone in the same position as myself. I am pregnant at last and feel like such a failure I have no trouble becoming pregnant but not able to get past the 1st trimester. I want to be happy but dont dare in case.

I'm so sorry that you feel like this, but not surprised . M/c (esp repeated m/c) robs you of the joy of enjoying pg, particularly early pg when most losses happen.

How many weeks are you now? Have you got past the time when you lost your previous pgs? I lost both my first two before 7 weeks so that was a big milestone for me, but even after I had passed that stage I still couldn't relax.

Stats are on your side, but I know this doesn't really help .

Have you tried acupuncture? I had this until I was 20 wks pg with my DS.

Good luck x

I know how you feel.
After 2 mmc I found I was pg again. I had so wanted to be pg but spent nearly every day of the 1st trimester in tears as for me, being pg only meant mc, grief, feelings of failure and negative trips to the early pg unit.
I had scans at 8 and 12 weeks that helped but it took a long time for me to fully accept that I'm pg.

I understand from friends with no mc history that they often found it hard to believe too so I guess we shouldn't be too hard on ourselves.

I'm 36 weeks tomorrow and enjoying being pg much more now. I still have days when I worry about things going wrong or that it's all in my head but hopefully I'll have my proof in about 4 weeks!

The chances are that everything will be fine for you and one of the best pieces of advice someone gave me was to not allow myself to worry about things that were unlikely to happen.

Congratulations and here's hoping for a smooth, easy pg for you!

Felt a bit like this until about 12-14 weeks when I felt the baby move (third pregnancy).

Yes it does rob you of the joy and excitement of being pregnant at first but by about 20 weeks it passes.

I still felt a bit of guilt at being excited about a new baby after losing one but then I thought it's not this baby's fault where she comes in the family order.

i had a m/c and then took 2years to conceive dd2. I worried throughout my pregnancy and never really believed it was all going to be ok. I ended up with a c-sec and I was still worrying whern being prepped for c-sec at 39+6.

DD2 is now 4 weeks old and despite all the bove there have been no problems with bonding once she did arrive safely.

good luck.

Hmm, different pgs have thrown up different feelings.

I got pg with ds fairly soon after an ectopic. We had an early scan and found out that it was twins, but one had gone by the dating scan. I was very detatched all the way through (pg went like a dream) and it took until ds was a good 10 months and a friend had the guts to take me in hand that I started to have a good relationship with ds. It was almost as thought I didn't dare believe that it would be all right and he wouldn't be suddenly taken from me (I was particularly terrified of cot death).

Next 3 pgs were mcs, 1st a blighted ovum foud at the dating scan and a complete shock, the other 2 early bleeds. I tried being detached with these 2 and found that it didn't work, it hit all the harder when I mc'd.

I'm now 7 weeks pg and already very attached to my bean, which I won't see until a scan at 11 weeks. It might be that there isn't anything there again, but I'm sure that there is and I'm going to be in pieces if there is a problem.

Congratulations, try to stay sane and I hope that this pg goes well for you .

I feel exactly the same - easy to get pg - nigh on impossible to stay that way and I envy those people who view this time as happy and exciting because I no longer do. I dont think its your fault and I just think get through it how you can when you have been in our shoes.

petey, congratulations on your pregnancy. I've had two back to back mcs and we're ttc again (on the 2ww) but a little part of me thinks perhaps I shouldn't even bother so that I can avoid the inevitable. Having bloods done on Tuesday to investigate any possible progesterone problems, but I feel almost certain the next pregnancy will end in mc too. I can't believe I told everyone at about 6 weeks when I was pg with ds. It didn't even occur to me that I'd miscarry (didn't obv) mc happened to other people. Now I know it happens to me, I feel like it'll always happen.

Hard to keep positive when you feel like this I know. I wish you a happy and healthy pregnancy, and may the next few weeks fly by until you're safely in to the 2nd trimester. Do you have a good local EPU or sympathetic doctor? Can you go for weekly scans. According the miscarriage association early scans can really help improve the outcome with people who've suffered recurrant mcs.

Petey, I had a mc in October last year and I'm now 17 weeks pregnant. Even though I am in theory past the most dangerous stage I still have barely told anyone and I have no faith in this one working out well. I can't get rid of this feeling even though I have a bump and scan photos.
I hope you are right sweetkitty and this will pass by 20 weeks.
You are not a failure Petey, it's just fate - nothing to do with you. I hope you have a successful pregnancy this time.

i'm 9 weeks into my third pregnancy. 1st was perfectly straightforward, now have dd nearly 3yr old. 2nd one was molar, discovered missed miscarriage at 12 wk scan. total shock. now this one.

i had an 8 wk scan last week to check if it's molar again. it doesn't appear to be. but i'm very very detached. the 8 wk scan should have been reassuring. it wasn't. then we have another scan at 11 wks. i don't think i'll feel much at all until the 20 wk scan.